8 ms·

Without going to get into the specifics on how to handle situations that make you uncomfortable, there is always someone you can go to, whether it be event staf

by mnicole 14y ago

Without going to get into the specifics on how to handle situations that make you uncomfortable, there is always someone you can go to, whether it be event staff, venue staff or higher authorities if you really feel it warrants it. That said, if your anxiety prevents you from standing up for yourself in the first place, then that problem exists outside of the realm of this individual situation and perhaps it is in your best interest to figure out why that is the case and what you can do about it because this will not be the first, last or worst of what life will deal you. Living in fear is the worst way to live, something I am aware of first-hand. It should not hold you captive in your own life. I wish the best to all of those struggling and hope they can find the courage within themselves (and this is not to say there aren't some situations where you're truly better off not saying anything to the accused at all). That said, PyCon had specifically appropriated their CoC to ensure that people had avenues to communicate problems they were having. The argument was then "But I'm the victim, why should I have to get up and do something about it when I did nothing wrong?" which just kind of boggles my mind. Do you or don't you want to make the effort to report this? You will inevitably have to spend time going over it face-to-face with event staff anyway, digging into time you wanted to spend doing something else, so you might as well just get it over with. Fortunately at events, someone will probably have recorded the talk and you can just watch it later. Hopefully next year there will be a way to report via SMS, although I suspect that the ease-of-use that provides will bring about its own set of problems.

zzzeek 14y ago
> Without going to get into the specifics on how to handle situations that make you uncomfortable, there is always someone you can go to, whether it be event staff, venue staff or higher authorities if you really feel it warrants it. correct, talking to event staff is absolutely what someone should do if they feel uncomfortable directly confronting someone. I just hope that people feel comfortable doing this at next years Pycon, without fear of being ostracized for "not asking directly first". I'm disturbed at the level of anger over the idea of someone not being comfortable with direct confrontation. Before you bring out the pitchforks, taking a photo and tweeting is entirely the wrong move and I am not defending that action in any way. I'm only referring to the concept that a safe conference place should be OK with people talking directly to event staff. > That said, if your anxiety prevents you from standing up for yourself in the first place, then that problem exists outside of the realm of this individual situation and perhaps it is in your best interest to figure out why that is the case and what you can do about it because this will not be the first, last or worst of what life will deal you. Living in fear is the worst way to live, something I am aware of first-hand. It should not hold you captive in your own life. I wish the best to all of those struggling and hope they can find the courage within themselves. I have a lot of background in this area as well, and while it's always great if people can learn to overcome all their issues and glide through all social situations in an impressively adept style in all cases, it's not very realistic. Everyone is only capable of being exactly where they are at in their lives, and that should not be a reason to avoid conferences. (Edit: nor is it realistic to assume that someone who is afraid to confront someone even has a problem - fear is not intrinsically a disease, it is a mechanism that very necessarily exists to protect the species from harm - it is only excessive and unfounded fear that is a pathology. Direct confrontation is absolutely not advised in many, many cases, and I'm sure you've had your own experiences where this approach goes terribly wrong.)

by mnicole 14y ago

zzzeek 14y ago

> Without going to get into the specifics on how to handle situations that make you uncomfortable, there is always someone you can go to, whether it be event staff, venue staff or higher authorities if you really feel it warrants it. correct, talking to event staff is absolutely what someone should do if they feel uncomfortable directly confronting someone. I just hope that people feel comfortable doing this at next years Pycon, without fear of being ostracized for "not asking directly first". I'm disturbed at the level of anger over the idea of someone not being comfortable with direct confrontation. Before you bring out the pitchforks, taking a photo and tweeting is entirely the wrong move and I am not defending that action in any way. I'm only referring to the concept that a safe conference place should be OK with people talking directly to event staff. > That said, if your anxiety prevents you from standing up for yourself in the first place, then that problem exists outside of the realm of this individual situation and perhaps it is in your best interest to figure out why that is the case and what you can do about it because this will not be the first, last or worst of what life will deal you. Living in fear is the worst way to live, something I am aware of first-hand. It should not hold you captive in your own life. I wish the best to all of those struggling and hope they can find the courage within themselves. I have a lot of background in this area as well, and while it's always great if people can learn to overcome all their issues and glide through all social situations in an impressively adept style in all cases, it's not very realistic. Everyone is only capable of being exactly where they are at in their lives, and that should not be a reason to avoid conferences. (Edit: nor is it realistic to assume that someone who is afraid to confront someone even has a problem - fear is not intrinsically a disease, it is a mechanism that very necessarily exists to protect the species from harm - it is only excessive and unfounded fear that is a pathology. Direct confrontation is absolutely not advised in many, many cases, and I'm sure you've had your own experiences where this approach goes terribly wrong.)