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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-litt... Sorry, I think

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-litt... Sorry, I think I agree with this article. Pretty is just another word that objectifies people by complimenting the most superficial aspect of their being.

scott_s 14y ago
We don't have to talk to everyone the same way we talk to children. I have female friends who are, in fact, pretty, and I tell them this because it makes them feel good to hear it, and it feels good to say it. (And yes, I know this is true, we are close enough to know each other well enough to share this kind of thing.)
kunai 14y ago
Ah, yes, I completely forgot that the Huffington Post is completely infallible and that everything published on that website is complete and total fact and certainly not opinion. I do not think "pretty" is objectifying in the slightest. "Sexy"? Yes. But telling someone they're pretty is a benign compliment. Is it superficial? Maybe. Of course, superficiality has many facets. I would call the endless stream of weight-loss programs that are so heavily advertised as having a negative influence. I would call the magazines promoting extremely thin models and calling them "ideal" as superficial. But telling someone that they're pretty is benign. It doesn't flatter the ego over a certain age and it certainly isn't objectifying.
- neltnerb 14y ago
  I don't see how the source is relevant to my opinion. I agree with it because I'm capable of critical thought, not just because of the source. It's obviously opinion. I think you have a different definition of objectifying than I do. That's fine. I'm a Buddhist, so I have a very liberal definition of what it means to see something as an "object". Phrasing and context is critical, of course. If someone tells me I'm pretty and I don't know them, it's awkward and creepy. If someone I've known for a decade tells me the same, the comment is colored by my understanding of what they mean. If someone tells me that I'm a beautiful person, that's less objectifying than telling me I'm beautiful. If someone tells me that they enjoy being around me, that's unambiguously a compliment. They're commenting on their own state of being instead of commenting on mine. It's complicated. I probably shouldn't comment on this further since it is something I've been thinking about pretty hard for a long time and my conclusions are not necessarily intuitively obvious.
tomasien 14y ago
You should read the "Why" in the top right.

scott_s 14y ago

We don't have to talk to everyone the same way we talk to children. I have female friends who are, in fact, pretty, and I tell them this because it makes them feel good to hear it, and it feels good to say it. (And yes, I know this is true, we are close enough to know each other well enough to share this kind of thing.)

kunai 14y ago

Ah, yes, I completely forgot that the Huffington Post is completely infallible and that everything published on that website is complete and total fact and certainly not opinion. I do not think "pretty" is objectifying in the slightest. "Sexy"? Yes. But telling someone they're pretty is a benign compliment. Is it superficial? Maybe. Of course, superficiality has many facets. I would call the endless stream of weight-loss programs that are so heavily advertised as having a negative influence. I would call the magazines promoting extremely thin models and calling them "ideal" as superficial. But telling someone that they're pretty is benign. It doesn't flatter the ego over a certain age and it certainly isn't objectifying.

neltnerb 14y ago
I don't see how the source is relevant to my opinion. I agree with it because I'm capable of critical thought, not just because of the source. It's obviously opinion. I think you have a different definition of objectifying than I do. That's fine. I'm a Buddhist, so I have a very liberal definition of what it means to see something as an "object". Phrasing and context is critical, of course. If someone tells me I'm pretty and I don't know them, it's awkward and creepy. If someone I've known for a decade tells me the same, the comment is colored by my understanding of what they mean. If someone tells me that I'm a beautiful person, that's less objectifying than telling me I'm beautiful. If someone tells me that they enjoy being around me, that's unambiguously a compliment. They're commenting on their own state of being instead of commenting on mine. It's complicated. I probably shouldn't comment on this further since it is something I've been thinking about pretty hard for a long time and my conclusions are not necessarily intuitively obvious.

tomasien 14y ago

You should read the "Why" in the top right.