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Well, first they'd have to acq-hire me. I'm cheaper than $30 million, though. I am seriously considering considering going into business as an "unfuck your cul

Well, first they'd have to acq-hire me. I'm cheaper than $30 million, though. I am seriously considering considering going into business as an "unfuck your culture" consultant. If you're at the point where you're paying $6 million per head for talent, then I'm a fucking steal at $2500 per hour [0]. Sure, I will talk your ear off for 200-400 hours over two months and bill you for almost a million, but I will solve your damn problem. [0] That's my rate for large companies. Startups get a discount. Inquire within.

verbalist 14y ago
Will your company have a yogurt cup for a logo? I'll let you have that idea for $500 - $600.
- michaelochurch 14y ago
  No, but the Office Olympics will use Yoplait lids for medals.
rayiner 14y ago
Without commenting on Yahoo! specifically, I think it's the case that sometimes companies become so dysfunctional they're beyond redemption. One company I worked at used to do contract work for Nortel. At one time it occurred to me: "you know this seems like stuff they could do in house, why are they paying us to do it?" Apparently the institutional bureaucracy was so bad no R&D-type project could get done internally. Of course the company filed for bankruptcy like a year or two later.
MaysonL 14y ago
These guys seem to have beat you to it: http://shitcreekconsulting.com http://shitcreekconsulting.com
orangethirty 14y ago
Given your comment history, and the way you seem to understand the bigger picture, I would not hesitate to go to business with you. So, let's get busy getting acq-hired. (:
- michaelochurch 14y ago
  Are you in New York? I'm always happy to kick around ideas, and for the next 3 weeks or so I have more time than usual.
  - o0-0o 14y ago
    I'm in NY and would love to tell you about what we are building. Hit me at GMALEKILLA at gmail.
  - orangethirty 14y ago
    No, I'm not in NY. Currently reside in the Caribbean. May you email me? We could, at the least, speak through Skype or telephone.
Nursie 14y ago
"I am seriously considering considering going into business as an "unfuck your culture" consultant." After only six months and two gigs as a contract software engineer, I'm thinking about this too. So far I'm appalled at the state of play in the small software houses I've seen.
- DanBC 14y ago
  Many years ago I watched a tv documentary (probably BBC with the Open University) about business consultants. There was a small - medium engineering company. These firms tend to be split between white collar office and management work, and blue collar shop floor work. The consultant went in, had a bit of a chat with the management, and then went onto the shop floor. After a bit of resistance he got a lot of great information. When someone is sitting at a machine pushing a button for 8 hours a day one thing they know is what makes that harder and what might make it easier. He got all these suggestions and put together a plan. All the blue collar staff were energised, active, keen to be involved. He then told them he was going to make a presentation to management. He asked the shop-floor workers what they thought would happen. "They'll ignore you" was the reply. "No!" he said, "They'll see the work we're put in, and they'll see the benefits to them, and they'll put in some changes!" He called the meeting. He gave his presentation. All the management sat, waiting for someone else to make a first move. Obviously they did not agree with any of the suggested changes. They heard the story about the car factory worker who saved his company thousands with a simple bag over the licence plate suggestion. They didn't care. "What you don't seem to realise is that we've already thought about all of this before we put the machines in" - it's like kaizen never existed. There's a reason many work cultures are fucked. But, you know, it is a good idea and I wish you luck if you try it! PS: obviously the point is not "shop floor great, management bad", because I've met many lazy shop floor workers.
  - patrickk 14y ago
    If you find a link to that documentary I'd love to see it.
    - DanBC 14y ago

verbalist 14y ago

Will your company have a yogurt cup for a logo? I'll let you have that idea for $500 - $600.

michaelochurch 14y ago
No, but the Office Olympics will use Yoplait lids for medals.

rayiner 14y ago

Without commenting on Yahoo! specifically, I think it's the case that sometimes companies become so dysfunctional they're beyond redemption. One company I worked at used to do contract work for Nortel. At one time it occurred to me: "you know this seems like stuff they could do in house, why are they paying us to do it?" Apparently the institutional bureaucracy was so bad no R&D-type project could get done internally. Of course the company filed for bankruptcy like a year or two later.

MaysonL 14y ago

These guys seem to have beat you to it: http://shitcreekconsulting.com http://shitcreekconsulting.com

orangethirty 14y ago

Given your comment history, and the way you seem to understand the bigger picture, I would not hesitate to go to business with you. So, let's get busy getting acq-hired. (:

michaelochurch 14y ago
Are you in New York? I'm always happy to kick around ideas, and for the next 3 weeks or so I have more time than usual.
- o0-0o 14y ago
  I'm in NY and would love to tell you about what we are building. Hit me at GMALEKILLA at gmail.
- orangethirty 14y ago
  No, I'm not in NY. Currently reside in the Caribbean. May you email me? We could, at the least, speak through Skype or telephone.

Nursie 14y ago

"I am seriously considering considering going into business as an "unfuck your culture" consultant." After only six months and two gigs as a contract software engineer, I'm thinking about this too. So far I'm appalled at the state of play in the small software houses I've seen.

DanBC 14y ago
Many years ago I watched a tv documentary (probably BBC with the Open University) about business consultants. There was a small - medium engineering company. These firms tend to be split between white collar office and management work, and blue collar shop floor work. The consultant went in, had a bit of a chat with the management, and then went onto the shop floor. After a bit of resistance he got a lot of great information. When someone is sitting at a machine pushing a button for 8 hours a day one thing they know is what makes that harder and what might make it easier. He got all these suggestions and put together a plan. All the blue collar staff were energised, active, keen to be involved. He then told them he was going to make a presentation to management. He asked the shop-floor workers what they thought would happen. "They'll ignore you" was the reply. "No!" he said, "They'll see the work we're put in, and they'll see the benefits to them, and they'll put in some changes!" He called the meeting. He gave his presentation. All the management sat, waiting for someone else to make a first move. Obviously they did not agree with any of the suggested changes. They heard the story about the car factory worker who saved his company thousands with a simple bag over the licence plate suggestion. They didn't care. "What you don't seem to realise is that we've already thought about all of this before we put the machines in" - it's like kaizen never existed. There's a reason many work cultures are fucked. But, you know, it is a good idea and I wish you luck if you try it! PS: obviously the point is not "shop floor great, management bad", because I've met many lazy shop floor workers.
- patrickk 14y ago
  If you find a link to that documentary I'd love to see it.
  - DanBC 14y ago