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I would treat you professionally and avoid making any references to anything more controversial than toast in your presence. But I also wouldn't invite you to

by heili 14y ago

I would treat you professionally and avoid making any references to anything more controversial than toast in your presence. But I also wouldn't invite you to any outside of work social activities either, because you sound like a buzzkill.

king_jester 14y ago
> But I also wouldn't invite you to any outside of work social activities either, because you sound like a buzzkill. This is actually one of the problems with folks being able to speak up in an office environment to challenge sexist or racist "jokes". Very often said humor isn't even humor and is used by a privileged group to disparage another. If someone calls that out, they can face social exclusion from their colleges, esp. if those colleges don't think that racism or sexism is a big deal. In such a situation, the person who feels uncomfortable can say nothing and continue to be a part of the group or they can say something and suddenly find themselves on the outside of the group, which for work has big consequences like losing access to resources needed to do your job, being passed up for promotion, etc.
- heili 14y ago
  That's just too fucking bad, innit? I'm not about to apologize for the fact that I don't invite people into my circle of friends if I'm going to have to constantly be on guard to watch what I say around them in case some dick or fart joke offends them and they go running to HR to tattle on me. I don't much care if that hypersensitive whinypants is male, female, or self identifying as a tree squirrel - I'm not going to spend every waking minute that I'm around other human beings moderating my every word like I'm on goddamn Sesame Street. If that wet-blanket who can't have fun doesn't get promoted because nobody actually likes being around them enough to want to spend 10 or more hours a day with them, it's not my problem and I'm not going to hold their hand and wipe their tears. They need to grow a thicker skin or learn to enjoy life outside the fold.
- jdmichal 14y ago
  There is no solution to this problem. It is simply the nature of being social. If I like talking about X, and another person doesn't, then I'm simply not going to talk with them, because they don't like talking about the things I do. Yes, X can be sexual innuendo jokes. But X can also be computers, or board games, or gardening. This is simply how being a social entity with differing world views works.
  - rhizome 14y ago
    There is too a solution to this problem: be professional at work and save the blue humor for the social hour. People are trying to get paid here.

by heili 14y ago

king_jester 14y ago

> But I also wouldn't invite you to any outside of work social activities either, because you sound like a buzzkill. This is actually one of the problems with folks being able to speak up in an office environment to challenge sexist or racist "jokes". Very often said humor isn't even humor and is used by a privileged group to disparage another. If someone calls that out, they can face social exclusion from their colleges, esp. if those colleges don't think that racism or sexism is a big deal. In such a situation, the person who feels uncomfortable can say nothing and continue to be a part of the group or they can say something and suddenly find themselves on the outside of the group, which for work has big consequences like losing access to resources needed to do your job, being passed up for promotion, etc.

heili 14y ago
That's just too fucking bad, innit? I'm not about to apologize for the fact that I don't invite people into my circle of friends if I'm going to have to constantly be on guard to watch what I say around them in case some dick or fart joke offends them and they go running to HR to tattle on me. I don't much care if that hypersensitive whinypants is male, female, or self identifying as a tree squirrel - I'm not going to spend every waking minute that I'm around other human beings moderating my every word like I'm on goddamn Sesame Street. If that wet-blanket who can't have fun doesn't get promoted because nobody actually likes being around them enough to want to spend 10 or more hours a day with them, it's not my problem and I'm not going to hold their hand and wipe their tears. They need to grow a thicker skin or learn to enjoy life outside the fold.
jdmichal 14y ago
There is no solution to this problem. It is simply the nature of being social. If I like talking about X, and another person doesn't, then I'm simply not going to talk with them, because they don't like talking about the things I do. Yes, X can be sexual innuendo jokes. But X can also be computers, or board games, or gardening. This is simply how being a social entity with differing world views works.
- rhizome 14y ago
  There is too a solution to this problem: be professional at work and save the blue humor for the social hour. People are trying to get paid here.