4 ms·

Just want to say sorry, I adjust my bra in meetings from time to time. Never realized it would make anybody uncomfortable. I'll try to cut it out.

• antihero 14y ago
  It doesn't. Anyone who feels "uncomfortable" because of adjusting a bra or underwear or scratching feet is fucking stupid and should not be accommodated.
  • heili 14y ago
    Does that apply to a guy who adjusts his underwear during a meeting to reposition everything and make himself more comfortable too?
    • vacri 14y ago
      Of course it does. Be discreet and don't draw attention to yourself in doing so - it's not really something you want to do when you've got the floor - but if you're not comfortable, you're less focused.
      • skewp 14y ago
        I dunno, I'm pretty sure sticking my hand down my pants to adjust my junk is never appropriate in public. I mean, I've done it if I thought I could get away with it, but I'd be pretty mortified if anyone ever let on that they caught me.
        • vacri 14y ago
          When you read 'adjust my bra' above, did you interpret that as the woman reaching inside her bra cup to reseat her boob? I certainly didn't.
          • skewp 14y ago
            Nope.
    • antihero 14y ago
      Yes. Being comfortable in meetings most likely makes them more productive. There are limits, such as nudity, which can be distracting, but it's about being reasonable, and unfortunately different people draw that line of reasonability in different places.
• bobwaycott 14y ago
  Please don't apologize or worry about it. Honestly, the intention behind that comment did not communicate properly. I apologize for that. Sometimes, text is hard to parse. It's not a serious issue that causes discomfort at all. At least not for me. The comments were couched in an over-the-top tone to mirror the over-the-top nature of Adria's response--particularly from the point that she began employing an appeal to emotion in her explanations, and characterizing herself as a Joan of Arc. I staunchly defend everyone's right to be free of actual sexism, be it a man, woman, or transgendered person. And one doesn't need an appeal to emotion if one can properly identify sexism. One only needs to present the facts. The facts here do not warrant the sexism overtones Adria gave to the situation, or the over-the-top reaction. I was using bra-adjusting (and all the conversational topics) as examples of utterly harmless actions that occur at a time and place that may not be appropriate, comparing them to a similar body-related action--say, me adjusting within view of women, above the table--that, given the situation we're discussing, could potentially result in a trumped up charge of it being more than just an innocuous action that is (or may be) situation-inappropriate. More likely is the fact that it's just stuff that happens because people aren't thinking that someone is analyzing their behaviors that closely and making it a big fucking deal. I was implying that junk-adjusting is an action we've been socialized into considering inappropriate, whereas bra-adjusting is very similar. It doesn't actually bother anyone. It's just shit people do, that may or may not be appropriate, and nobody needs to be overreacting to that kind of stuff. Again, I apologize for failing to communicate all that properly without causing confusion and misunderstanding. Honestly, if I'd known that some of those comments were going to incite the "men's rights" derailment--I now know of the existence of r/mensrights, or whatever it is--I'd have been a bit more explicit in mocking the over-the-top tone. Regrettably, I figured that part out after my edit window expired.