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Ah, another thread full of bitter men who do not want to buy a diamond because they are "worthless." I bought the girl a diamond because she wanted a diamond.
by gfodor 14y ago
Ah, another thread full of bitter men who do not want to buy a diamond because they are "worthless."
I bought the girl a diamond because she wanted a diamond. It makes her happy. She says it makes her smile every day. That's "worthless", huh? If that is worthless then find me something that makes her so happy that isn't worthless and I would have bought that instead. But there is no such thing, for her. For some girls, yes, they do not want diamonds. (But I assure you, there is something they want that you will label as "irrational" and "worthless", too.) But many girls do, and men buy them for them not because they are stupid and irrational but because they are in love and because it will make the person they love happy. Life is too short to view every dollar spent as an investment and every purchase justifiable onto some balance sheet or long-term plan based upon prudent thinking. What do we work for, after all, than to earn the ability to do what we want with our money? And what better way to use that money than to make those we love happy?
The bottom line is diamond rings and all that nonsense will continue to be a thing as long as it makes girls happy to have one. It could be it makes them happy because it reminds them of their husband's commitment. It could be because it reminds them of the time in their lives of their engagement. It could be because it is just shiny and nice to look at. It could be because it might be the nicest thing they own and the biggest sacrifice a person ever made, just to make them happy. According to this thread, the only reason a girl wants a diamond is because she is a selfish person who wants to wave it around her friends and show she is better than them. That's a very sad perspective and shows a lack of understanding.
If you want to figure out how to get diamonds to go away you need to figure out something that will have the same effect on women that diamonds do, or you need to somehow convince millions of women to no longer feel the way they do about diamond rings and the meaning behind them. Getting up and yelling about it being a poor investment and irrational and all makes it fairly clear you do not understand why women are so obsessed with diamonds in the first place.
The only reason the focus is on diamonds is because of the high price tag, not because there is some inherent moral argument being made about the nature of purchasing things irrationally because you simply want to do something nice for someone you love. I'm sure you have plenty of things you want that you don't need, but somehow you are able to compartmentalize them because they are a) not as expensive as a diamond or b) serve some "function" beyond being a shiny rock. Good for you. But really, if you want to argue about ethics and morals in consumer choices, the price tag a person pays relative to the "intrinsic value" of the object so desired should not be a part of the equation. To me, I don't give a damn what the "intrinsic value" of a diamond is on the market, I give a damn what the "intrinsic value" of a diamond (specifically the diamond I purchased) is to the person I gave it to. And in my case you will hardly find a larger gap between price and intrinsic value (in my favor) than probably anything else I've purchased.
- deleted 14y ago[deleted]
- okamiueru 14y agoAlright, I'll bite. See, when you say you see a "thread full of bitter men", I cant help but feel you are expressing some kind of bitterness yourself. At least, I don't share your dismissive feelings towards the concept that a ring should symbolize more than monetize (yeah, strawman right back at'ya :) ). You know... when something is _really_ important, yet no argument is provided to back it up. "Makes her smile", is a positive side-effect, yet not a rational reason that can counter what is bad about diamonds. The whole notion that affection and devotion should be demonstrated through financial sacrifice (and I don't use sacrifice in the terms of "something given up or lost", but "destruction or surrender of something for the sake of [deity]") is a cultural irrationality that you seem to have a very positive look on, and good for you! If someone looks at his/her ring, and feels negative emotion because this ring, which is meant to symbolize the "let's share a life together" between two people, is only made of plain gold, and not something which was more expensive to obtain... It's a good thing for me that I find this cultural irrationality an unattractive red flag. Have a nice day.
- gfodor 14y agoI'm sure you have your own "unattractive red flags" yourself. So do I. We are human, after all. Relationships are about compromise, understanding, and doing things for the other person to make them happy that we may not understand or agree with. This is one of those things. The only reason people in this thread get so bent out of shape on this particular decision (ill speculate) is because of the amount of money involved. Other similar things do not get nearly as much scrutiny. This tells more about an obsession over money on the part of that person than it does about the girl wanting the ring. If your partner doesn't want one, great, but why does it seem fit to say on this particular thing to cast such judgement and provide such passionate explanations as to why you refuse to spend money on this, no matter what she wants? Basically these threads boil down to money, not ethics, not morals, not character, not de beers, or any of that bullshit. It's only an issue because of a high price tag. There are millions of other issues that have thorny ethical consequences but the reason this thread is so filled with passionate arguments judging other people is because of the amount of money involved.