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I find it shocking that there are people that think that a woman wanting financial security makes that woman a 'gold-digger'.

astrodust 14y ago
There is an enormous difference between wanting financial security and wanting someone to buy them a giant diamond ring as a token of it.
- maratd 14y ago
  No, there isn't. If the girl is even slightly intelligent, she will want proof of that financial security and a diamond ring is adequate proof that she can verify on her own.
  - Nursie 14y ago
    If she's even slightly intelligent they will have discussed finances well ahead of the wedding, probably lived together for some time and know the situation very well. A shiny rock is not a proxy for communication.
  - astrodust 14y ago
    If the girl is even slightly intelligent she'll be able to make an assessment without needing a glittery ring. Maybe you think that flashing your wealth, not unlike a peacock fanning out their feathers, will get you a mate. It probably will, but it will probably be the kind of mate that is attracted to money.
    - maratd 14y ago
      All mates are attracted to money, some are simply more attracted than others. > If the girl is even slightly intelligent she'll be able to make an assessment without needing a glittery ring. Because she's clairvoyant? An expensive car can be rented or borrowed, a house can be inherited, bank statements easily faked. Men do these sorts of things. Frequently. But a ring she has been pining on and on about? A ring she can easily get appraised? No. You can't fake that. You will need to fork over the cash and when all of your money is going toward regular expenses and all of a sudden you have to fork over 10K in cold hard cash, that's a strain and a fine test of a man's ability to withstand financial shock. Wait til you have a baby. Now that's a real financial shock.
      - transitionality 14y ago
        A diamond is just as easily faked as a bank statement.
        learc83 14y ago
        The OP said, >A ring she can easily get appraised? right before he talked about how hard it is to fake. You can't fake a diamond that will fool an appraiser just as easily as a bank statement. It's much easier to covertly verify the value of diamond than the validity of a bank statement.
        transitionality 14y ago
        Both can be faked equally easily, given equivalent verification mechanisms. Without the help of professional services, a layman can be easily fooled in either context. However, if the layman is going to get the diamond appraised by a professional, then the same standard should be applied to the other task. One can likewise use professional services to accurately determine a person's net worth. My point remains.
        learc83 14y ago
        To get a ring appraised you can walk into a jewelry store and pay $100 without the person who bought the diamond knowing about it. That is simply not possible to do with a bank statement, there is no equivalent easy to use affordable service.
        transitionality 14y ago
        Of course it's possible. Private detectives can procure an insane amount of information on anyone, often using quasi-legal means like social engineering of the target or "favors" from friends on the police force. Given equivalent conditions, the two tasks are equally easy.
        14y ago
opminion 14y ago
The implication, in this context, is that the man and the woman would have very unequal shares of financial responsibility (or expectations). That's why she would be perceived as a gold digger.
kamaal 14y ago
>>I find it shocking that there are people that think that a woman wanting financial security makes that woman a 'gold-digger'. Is it? And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman? And I always thought women wanted equal rights. Its seems they only want a life long vacation at some body else's expense.
- desas 14y ago
  > And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman? I'm sure for most women it's not that it is the man's responsibility to provide financial security, but that the man is going to work with you to be financially secure rather than against. If you've spent your twenties working hard and saving, you probably don't want to marry someone who's spent their twenties running up a credit card bill. You very likely will spend your life together arguing. Not that a diamond ring is necessarily the best way to demonstrate financial responsibility.

astrodust 14y ago

There is an enormous difference between wanting financial security and wanting someone to buy them a giant diamond ring as a token of it.

maratd 14y ago
No, there isn't. If the girl is even slightly intelligent, she will want proof of that financial security and a diamond ring is adequate proof that she can verify on her own.
- Nursie 14y ago
  If she's even slightly intelligent they will have discussed finances well ahead of the wedding, probably lived together for some time and know the situation very well. A shiny rock is not a proxy for communication.
- astrodust 14y ago
  If the girl is even slightly intelligent she'll be able to make an assessment without needing a glittery ring. Maybe you think that flashing your wealth, not unlike a peacock fanning out their feathers, will get you a mate. It probably will, but it will probably be the kind of mate that is attracted to money.
  - maratd 14y ago
    All mates are attracted to money, some are simply more attracted than others. > If the girl is even slightly intelligent she'll be able to make an assessment without needing a glittery ring. Because she's clairvoyant? An expensive car can be rented or borrowed, a house can be inherited, bank statements easily faked. Men do these sorts of things. Frequently. But a ring she has been pining on and on about? A ring she can easily get appraised? No. You can't fake that. You will need to fork over the cash and when all of your money is going toward regular expenses and all of a sudden you have to fork over 10K in cold hard cash, that's a strain and a fine test of a man's ability to withstand financial shock. Wait til you have a baby. Now that's a real financial shock.
    - transitionality 14y ago
      A diamond is just as easily faked as a bank statement.
      - learc83 14y ago
        The OP said, >A ring she can easily get appraised? right before he talked about how hard it is to fake. You can't fake a diamond that will fool an appraiser just as easily as a bank statement. It's much easier to covertly verify the value of diamond than the validity of a bank statement.
        transitionality 14y ago
        Both can be faked equally easily, given equivalent verification mechanisms. Without the help of professional services, a layman can be easily fooled in either context. However, if the layman is going to get the diamond appraised by a professional, then the same standard should be applied to the other task. One can likewise use professional services to accurately determine a person's net worth. My point remains.
        learc83 14y ago
        To get a ring appraised you can walk into a jewelry store and pay $100 without the person who bought the diamond knowing about it. That is simply not possible to do with a bank statement, there is no equivalent easy to use affordable service.
        transitionality 14y ago
        Of course it's possible. Private detectives can procure an insane amount of information on anyone, often using quasi-legal means like social engineering of the target or "favors" from friends on the police force. Given equivalent conditions, the two tasks are equally easy.
        14y ago

opminion 14y ago

The implication, in this context, is that the man and the woman would have very unequal shares of financial responsibility (or expectations). That's why she would be perceived as a gold digger.

kamaal 14y ago

>>I find it shocking that there are people that think that a woman wanting financial security makes that woman a 'gold-digger'. Is it? And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman? And I always thought women wanted equal rights. Its seems they only want a life long vacation at some body else's expense.

desas 14y ago
> And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman? I'm sure for most women it's not that it is the man's responsibility to provide financial security, but that the man is going to work with you to be financially secure rather than against. If you've spent your twenties working hard and saving, you probably don't want to marry someone who's spent their twenties running up a credit card bill. You very likely will spend your life together arguing. Not that a diamond ring is necessarily the best way to demonstrate financial responsibility.