7 ms·

It's easy to say that but that's not how human nature works. When you buy things for other people, it is generally a positive for your relationship with them.

by mech4bg 14y ago

It's easy to say that but that's not how human nature works. When you buy things for other people, it is generally a positive for your relationship with them. In general, they are happier and think better of you. Getting upset about it and saying they don't 'really love you' is not true and not super helpful. Human nature is very hard to change, no matter how intelligent / introspective we become. Do you never buy your significant other dinner, a night out, or gifts of any kind?

Retric 14y ago
Human nature only talks about the average, I know a few people that dislike expencive gifts as it makes them feel obligations that they dislike. Gift giving is a vary cultural activity which makes it seem a lot more innate than it is because most people you interact with share the same bias.
- mech4bg 14y ago
  Absolutely. I'm not saying it applies to everyone, in fact I'm completely on your side - disagreeing with (and demonizing) giving a diamond because it's not how you operate is silly.
InclinedPlane 14y ago
Infidelity is also human nature. Is that also just to be expected in a relationship? If someone isn't willing to compromise in the face of reason (e.g. "we can't afford an expensive wedding or a ring", or "I'm concerned about supporting conflict in Africa and supporting the diamond cartel") then I'd say the relationship is probably not strong enough to last.
- mech4bg 14y ago
  But it's not as clear cut that this is a 'negative' aspect of human nature, and I would strongly argue that infidelity is NOT necessarily human nature, at least not as fundamentally as gift giving / signaling. And you're moving the argument here - previously we were talking about buying an expensive ring, not supporting armed conflict or purchasing something you can't afford.
  - InclinedPlane 14y ago
    Given the state of the economy and the average savings rate in the US the "typical" diamond engagement ring is simply not affordable for many people. More so, the idea that acquiring a diamond through the De Beers cartel does not at worst indirectly support conflict in sub-saharan Africa and at best help prop up brutal dictatorships is just extraordinarily naive.

by mech4bg 14y ago

Retric 14y ago

Human nature only talks about the average, I know a few people that dislike expencive gifts as it makes them feel obligations that they dislike. Gift giving is a vary cultural activity which makes it seem a lot more innate than it is because most people you interact with share the same bias.

mech4bg 14y ago
Absolutely. I'm not saying it applies to everyone, in fact I'm completely on your side - disagreeing with (and demonizing) giving a diamond because it's not how you operate is silly.

InclinedPlane 14y ago

Infidelity is also human nature. Is that also just to be expected in a relationship? If someone isn't willing to compromise in the face of reason (e.g. "we can't afford an expensive wedding or a ring", or "I'm concerned about supporting conflict in Africa and supporting the diamond cartel") then I'd say the relationship is probably not strong enough to last.

mech4bg 14y ago
But it's not as clear cut that this is a 'negative' aspect of human nature, and I would strongly argue that infidelity is NOT necessarily human nature, at least not as fundamentally as gift giving / signaling. And you're moving the argument here - previously we were talking about buying an expensive ring, not supporting armed conflict or purchasing something you can't afford.
- InclinedPlane 14y ago
  Given the state of the economy and the average savings rate in the US the "typical" diamond engagement ring is simply not affordable for many people. More so, the idea that acquiring a diamond through the De Beers cartel does not at worst indirectly support conflict in sub-saharan Africa and at best help prop up brutal dictatorships is just extraordinarily naive.