Remember that the marginal utility of dollars and success decreases. That means your first priority is to make the start up work, as the downside is failure a

Remember that the marginal utility of dollars and success decreases. That means your first priority is to make the start up work, as the downside is failure and possibly having to take a job. With this in mind, think about whether any unfairness is actually worth jeopardizing the chance of success. Once you have enough money, and +/- a million means much less. The only question is whether your partner is essential to the company. Instead of directly fighting with salary and equity cuts, have a candid conversation about her goals and expectations. Understand her point of view. And maybe her balanced lifestyle is actually better in the long run.