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You're right, I've thought about this a lot. I work a lot because I like it, but also because we're not in the black yet. If we were, I'd probably relax at leas

You're right, I've thought about this a lot. I work a lot because I like it, but also because we're not in the black yet. If we were, I'd probably relax at least a bit, but I've already experienced a time when the clock ran out and the money dried up. I'm doing everything in my power to prevent it this time. I do like your idea about getting an independent party, but we're not in the same region so our mutual acquaintances are few. I need to think on that a bit. Edit: Curious, was there any resistance when this was implemented with your team? How did the conversation go?

niggler 14y ago
"I work a lot because I like it, but also because we're not in the black yet. " Did you address this issue with her? Maybe she doesn't feel the same urgency for profitability. If profitability is a big concern for you, communicate that
- anotherfork 14y ago
  Yes, many times. She says she gets it, and says all the right things, but nothing really changes. It's almost as if her income was being subsidized. That or she's happy being broke.
  - niggler 14y ago
    "She says she gets it, and says all the right things, but nothing really changes." If you have no reason to believe the situation is going to change going forward, then now's the time to cut the losses and move on. Find someone else or forge along by yourself.
    - zaidf 14y ago
      This is where a 3rd party helps. It is easy for her to argue that you are getting caught up in emotion and it is hard for you to deliver judgement without some emotion.
zaidf 14y ago
Coming from a similar background. I am that guy who thinks about my start-up 24x7, more than my other 2 founders. I've also worked along my cofounder at my last company where not all went well so some of those feelings carry over(and I have to be mindful of it!). Also, I've realized that I also have crazy downtimes or crashes that are bigger than them. In those times, I appreciate the stability and the calm in the other founders. So I'd challenge you to make a list of positive characteristics in your partner that aren't necessarily in you. Honestly I think a lot of your issues might be with not being in the same room. I know one of our founders' recently spent a week away and it was pretty evident that things were getting uncomfortable. We didn't have much resistance. If anything, this is good because doing a start-up is scary enough and doing these calls helps build confidence and reduce self-doubt. And you are not constantly second guessing about what other partners' feel about the other because those feelings are expected to be shared on a regular basis in a constructive manner. On one of our very first calls, I was called out for being overtly negative. Of course that made me even more defensive in the moment. But that evening I took a step back, realized I was kind of at fault(even if my concerns were genuine) and wrote a plan and shared with the team to get me to a point where my attitude doesn't come in the way of airing genuine concerns.
- stevenameyer 14y ago
  Also, I've realized that I also have crazy downtimes or crashes that are bigger than them. In those times, I appreciate the stability and the calm in the other founders. So I'd challenge you to make a list of positive characteristics in your partner that aren't necessarily in you. I could not agree more with this. As someone who functions at 100% or nothing, it is unbelievably helpful to have someone who is more stable. When I am going there is no stopping, pretty much everything is put aside whether it be eating, sleeping, exercise, seeing friends or anything else. But when all that stuff that I put aside finally catches up to me and I need some time to recharge, I am so glad to have people around me who are stable and able to keep things going. I think having people who bring both enthusiasm and stability is really important. When crunch time comes it's great to have people willing to lay it all out there to get what needs to be done regardless of what that entails, but at the same time having people who you know will be steady and reliable is really important because a company without consistency is normally destined to fail.

niggler 14y ago

"I work a lot because I like it, but also because we're not in the black yet. " Did you address this issue with her? Maybe she doesn't feel the same urgency for profitability. If profitability is a big concern for you, communicate that

anotherfork 14y ago
Yes, many times. She says she gets it, and says all the right things, but nothing really changes. It's almost as if her income was being subsidized. That or she's happy being broke.
- niggler 14y ago
  "She says she gets it, and says all the right things, but nothing really changes." If you have no reason to believe the situation is going to change going forward, then now's the time to cut the losses and move on. Find someone else or forge along by yourself.
  - zaidf 14y ago
    This is where a 3rd party helps. It is easy for her to argue that you are getting caught up in emotion and it is hard for you to deliver judgement without some emotion.

zaidf 14y ago

Coming from a similar background. I am that guy who thinks about my start-up 24x7, more than my other 2 founders. I've also worked along my cofounder at my last company where not all went well so some of those feelings carry over(and I have to be mindful of it!). Also, I've realized that I also have crazy downtimes or crashes that are bigger than them. In those times, I appreciate the stability and the calm in the other founders. So I'd challenge you to make a list of positive characteristics in your partner that aren't necessarily in you. Honestly I think a lot of your issues might be with not being in the same room. I know one of our founders' recently spent a week away and it was pretty evident that things were getting uncomfortable. We didn't have much resistance. If anything, this is good because doing a start-up is scary enough and doing these calls helps build confidence and reduce self-doubt. And you are not constantly second guessing about what other partners' feel about the other because those feelings are expected to be shared on a regular basis in a constructive manner. On one of our very first calls, I was called out for being overtly negative. Of course that made me even more defensive in the moment. But that evening I took a step back, realized I was kind of at fault(even if my concerns were genuine) and wrote a plan and shared with the team to get me to a point where my attitude doesn't come in the way of airing genuine concerns.

stevenameyer 14y ago
Also, I've realized that I also have crazy downtimes or crashes that are bigger than them. In those times, I appreciate the stability and the calm in the other founders. So I'd challenge you to make a list of positive characteristics in your partner that aren't necessarily in you. I could not agree more with this. As someone who functions at 100% or nothing, it is unbelievably helpful to have someone who is more stable. When I am going there is no stopping, pretty much everything is put aside whether it be eating, sleeping, exercise, seeing friends or anything else. But when all that stuff that I put aside finally catches up to me and I need some time to recharge, I am so glad to have people around me who are stable and able to keep things going. I think having people who bring both enthusiasm and stability is really important. When crunch time comes it's great to have people willing to lay it all out there to get what needs to be done regardless of what that entails, but at the same time having people who you know will be steady and reliable is really important because a company without consistency is normally destined to fail.