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I don't think one can actually beat depression but instead only really cope with the symptoms. I know that sounds awful and kind of defeatist (and I could be wr
by bpatrianakos 14y ago
I don't think one can actually beat depression but instead only really cope with the symptoms. I know that sounds awful and kind of defeatist (and I could be wrong) but I think the idea that you can actually conquer this disease sets you up for failure.
I first noticed my own depression when I was just a 13 year old kid and first sought help just before the end of high school. I've been through the entire range of emotion from hopelessness to being suicidal and through it all I was always most upset that I couldn't actually beat it. I would try and fight so hard to make it just go away permanently and be like "normal" people but it just never happened. I eventually took to self medicating and became a polydrug abusing heroin addict for about 5 years.
Five years later I realize that, for me, there is no "beating" it. There's just learning to cope with it. Before I realized this my main focus was trying to make the terrible way I felt just go away and to be happy. Now, rather than fight it, I work around it. I realize that a negative mood or feeling of worthlessness is not objectively true but instead just part of the sickness just like the author here says.
In addition to most of what this post talked about I would say the most important thing is knowledge of self. To recognize and realize that what you're experiencing at any given time is really a complete distortion of reality is step one to recovering. Then to know what triggers those thoughts and knowing what works best for you in terms of mitigating them is the ultimate goal (with the understanding, of course, that you may not be able to completely defeat the experience but certainly minimize it). I learned these things and now, five years later, I still have depression but it's not debilitating. Whenever it decides to come around I'm able to push it aside completely or mitigate those symptoms and I've been able to do that because I've built the kind of lifestyle where people rely on me and I'm often running from one activity to another. Some might say it sounds like running from the disease but really my busy lifestyle is what keeps it at bay. Rather than having the time to dwell on how awful life is and how worthless of a person I am, at worst I'll have thoughts like "shit, now I have to go do this thing and I totally suck at it and everyone hates me" which isn't exactly a great thought but certainly beats being alone thinking of killing yourself and when I finally reach my destination and do whatever I need to do I've proven to myself that whatever I was thinking before was just plain wrong. Again, that's a worst case scenario. I've gotten to a point now where thoughts like that are the minority thankfully.
So I'd just hope anyone else struggling with clinical depression is able to take a step back and evaluate their own thinking, understanding their own vulnerabilities and coping mechanisms in addition to seeking out lots of professional help (and yeah, exercising is amazing for this disease).
- davidtanner 14y agoI've suffered from MDD and tried to kill myself several times, the last attempt was very serious and I almost did die. Now, almost a decade later and I think I can say I have "beaten" depression. The cure? Time, therapy, loving intimate relationships and judicious use of psychedelics.
- bpatrianakos 14y agoI can't say you haven't beaten depression because I just don't know you but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous. It's the same kind of logic behind why addicts say they're recovering and not recovered. The disease is still there and can show itself at any time but for now it's in "remission" I suppose you could say. A lot of people feel like admitting they can't beat depression is a sign of weakness and that if you "beat" it or become "cured" of it that that's somehow a badge of honor. I don't feel that way. I think admitting you can't truly beat this and knowing your limits is the smartest and bravest thing a person can do. I know that if something were to happen and I fell into my old depression again I'd certainly feel even worse after having thought I'd beaten it. Even if I were to say I beat it today while I'm feeling good, that would be a lie. I haven't beaten it. It's still there. I feel it. It wants to consume me all the time but I don't allow it to right now. It hangs on to me every single day, even on days like today when I'm feeling good. The only difference between depressed me and "cured" me is how I deal with it. I'm sure this would be impossible to understand for someone who's never experience depression but even though I struggle with depression every day of my life, I'm not depressed. And that has everything to do with how I've learned to deal with it - I just kind of work around it and don't feed it. Like I said, I can't and I'm not saying you haven't beaten it. I just can't understand how anyone can really beat it at least not with my understanding of the word "beat" I suppose.
- ZenoArrow 14y ago"but for me believing that I've beaten it is dangerous". Is it really that dangerous? Does 'beating' it mean you forget how to cope? I don't know your situation, but I would strongly advise contemplating the truth that lies behind self-fulfilling prophecies. As Confucius put it “He who who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right”. I'm not trying to condense the issue into a soundbite, but rather illustrate that being open to the possibility that you can beat it might mean you can actually beat it. I truly wish you well.