6 ms·

How Grindr Is Changing the Way We Connect

51 points by swohns 14y ago

chimeracoder 14y ago
> Mr. Woo said a Grindr survey of its users found that two-thirds of them were using the application to find new friends, to network or to kill time, as well as to hook up. I keep hearing this from friends, and I honestly don't get it. The couple of times I've gone on Grindr, all I saw were things like: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ and http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr . Those certainly represent the worst-of-the-worst, but it's clear what the 'Grindr community' is looking for when they log in to the app. On the other hand, a friend of mine just told me last week about an in-depth political debate he got into with a guy on Grindr. While I can think of of a few ways to segue from 'check out this dick shot' to 'what do you think of Mitch McConnell', it still leaves me a bit baffled to hear that this actually happens. My perspective may be a bit skewed because of my work with more, um "traditional" online dating (a phrase which makes me chuckle to type), but I have a hard time understanding how such meaningful conversations arise from a platform where people are quite clearly on the hunt. Sidenote: It also amuses me how many of Grindr's ads are clearly hetero-oriented ('sexy [female] strippers nearby', etc.). I know they try to keep up the pretense that it's a 'social networking app for men', not just a hookup app for gay men, but.... still!
- pavel_lishin 14y ago
  > The couple of times I've gone on Grindr, all I saw were things like: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ and http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr Isn't it like twitter in that regard? Sturgeon's Law is universal.
- drivebyacct2 14y ago
  It's anecdotal and I'm still in the Midwest but nearly every single hit thats not leaking in from Lawrence, KS is "LTR oriented" or specifically not looking for a one time hookup. When I get out to Seattle I plan on attempting to make new friends through both Grindr and OkCupid but not necessarily exclusively for friends. Who knows.
- potatolicious 14y ago
  I do feel like the article is substantially overstating the generalizability of Grindr's model. I'm not that surprised that people are having substantial conversations on the service, but while the article seems to see this as Grindr evolving beyond its initial premise, I see it as simply a deepening of a mature platform. Which is to say, if you ever took away the hookup aspect of Grindr, everything comes crashing down. The platform isn't growing beyond hookups, it's layering things on top of it, which seems like a natural evolution. This is great, just not quite as world-changing as the article would have us believe. I sincerely doubt Grindr is a herald for a new means of mass communications.
- psyklic 14y ago
  A few common uses: only on for stimulation and rarely meet up, hookups, new to town and want to meet friends/going out buddies, looking for a relationship and don't know where else to meet guys, just on it to try it out, visiting and looking for the hot places to go, bored and wasting time. Dating is less formal nowadays, even with women. The distinction between a date and a hookup is getting blurry, since a lot of first dates nowadays end up at least making out. I'd say that even hookup-oriented guys are looking for a relationship with "the right person," so it isn't always clear saying that someone uses a service just for hookups. Plus, hookups often evolve into friendships or dates (and vice versa).
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]
aaroncray 14y ago
Grindr: Get herpes faster than ever!
choxi 14y ago
it's concerning to see TechCrunch-esque "How [X] is Changing the Way We [Y]" articles on the New York Times
- glurgh 14y ago
  It's an NYT blog, not an article. And you probably mean 'disconcerting'.
  - pessimizer 14y ago
    'disconcerting' means something like disorienting,confusing, or plan-upending. 'concerning' means that it looks like a problem that may need attending to; that causes concern. http://thesaurus.com/browse/concerning http://thesaurus.com/browse/concerning : "There are, however, several points in the article that are concerning"
    - glurgh 14y ago
      The trouble is, that's not what 'concerning' means. It does not mean 'causes concern' http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/concerning http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/concerning The usage you're describing might as well be met with the question 'Concerning what?'.
      - pessimizer 14y ago
        The same word often has multiple meanings, and multiple usages.
      - Evbn 14y ago
        Definition 3, my friend.
        glurgh 14y ago
        Definition which? Let's take a look at the relevant one from the OED. 1.1 That is of concern, that gives cause for consideration; important, weighty. arch. Note the annotation 'archaic' - as in, not actually in current use. Words do, indeed, have multiple meanings. They do also have common usage and this one is just silly and bad writing. 'Concerning' does not mean 'cause for concern' - if you are sure of the contrary, find me a non-blithe usage of it, in that sense, in any current publication that is not a forum post or blog.
charlieok 14y ago
“The one question that Mr. Woo could not answer is how to develop a version of Grindr that works for straight people and women. The company tried to release an app called Blendr, but it has been far less successful that its predecessor. It could simply be that “gay men are early adopters,” he said. “I joke that the wheel was invented by a gay man so he could get to his hookup faster.”” Is this really such a mystery? Women are not nearly as interested in meeting strangers online -- especially for random hookups -- as men are.
- Aloisius 14y ago
  Plenty of women are interested in meeting strangers and some even in hookups, but only in a safe setting where there is no physical risk and they can leave anytime. It is hard for a hookup service to provide that.
  - jiggy2011 14y ago
    Yes, and in my experience women like to be wooed to some extent even for a "casual encounter" whereas guys just want to get on with it. "What is the minimum number of metres I need to walk to get laid" is a solution looking for a problem here.
    - TillE 14y ago
      While there are certainly some gay men who want literally nothing but sex, many want some kind of connection, at least to verify that the other person is minimally sane and practices good hygiene. It's really not so different. The "wooing" process for casual sex generally involves little more than giving signals that you're a normal person, and not a weirdo, creep, or bore.
- officemonkey 14y ago
  I could see an app like this being a tremendous asset for female sex workers. You're able to find clients who are interested in you, close, and willing to meet when you're available.
NelsonMinar 14y ago
My favorite thing about Grindr is the way the app itself is community-neutral. You could reskin the app and call it "Bible Study Finder" and it would be a fine way to find nearby Christians who want to have an intimate discussion about Jesus. I'm gay myself and do think there's something special about gay male hookup culture that Grindr is uniquely suited to. But the basic lesson of locative apps has to be reusable in other communities.
- jiggy2011 14y ago
  Well, you might want to change the backend database as well or that could lead to some slightly awkward situations..
  - deleted 14y ago
    [deleted]
  - Evbn 14y ago
    Outside of the particular constraints of the gay community (and a few other niches), you probably don't need a backend database at all. All the work could be done in the frontend.
martinced 14y ago
Oh woaw. When I saw that Californication episode I thought that such an app was pure fiction : )
moe 14y ago
Since this PR fluff-piece doesn't even try to answer its own question I'll ask a more interesting one: How much did grinder pay for that advert in the NY times blog? It's not like these fuc^H^H^Hhookup sites are a new thing. AdultFriendFinder launched in 1997 and literally dozens of such sites have existed for a similarly long time.
- Evbn 14y ago
  If they paid, they used grindr to find a journalist looking for a casual story hookup, which makes it a relevant story. Seriously, the NYT blogs are basically people emailing their friends for topics. I get them all the time due to my network of past associates who have become bloggers for NYT, WSJ, etc.

51 points by swohns 14y ago

> Mr. Woo said a Grindr survey of its users found that two-thirds of them were using the application to find new friends, to network or to kill time, as well as to hook up. I keep hearing this from friends, and I honestly don't get it. The couple of times I've gone on Grindr, all I saw were things like: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ and http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr . Those certainly represent the worst-of-the-worst, but it's clear what the 'Grindr community' is looking for when they log in to the app. On the other hand, a friend of mine just told me last week about an in-depth political debate he got into with a guy on Grindr. While I can think of of a few ways to segue from 'check out this dick shot' to 'what do you think of Mitch McConnell', it still leaves me a bit baffled to hear that this actually happens. My perspective may be a bit skewed because of my work with more, um "traditional" online dating (a phrase which makes me chuckle to type), but I have a hard time understanding how such meaningful conversations arise from a platform where people are quite clearly on the hunt. Sidenote: It also amuses me how many of Grindr's ads are clearly hetero-oriented ('sexy [female] strippers nearby', etc.). I know they try to keep up the pretense that it's a 'social networking app for men', not just a hookup app for gay men, but.... still!

pavel_lishin 14y ago
> The couple of times I've gone on Grindr, all I saw were things like: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/ and http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr http://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr Isn't it like twitter in that regard? Sturgeon's Law is universal.
drivebyacct2 14y ago
It's anecdotal and I'm still in the Midwest but nearly every single hit thats not leaking in from Lawrence, KS is "LTR oriented" or specifically not looking for a one time hookup. When I get out to Seattle I plan on attempting to make new friends through both Grindr and OkCupid but not necessarily exclusively for friends. Who knows.
potatolicious 14y ago
I do feel like the article is substantially overstating the generalizability of Grindr's model. I'm not that surprised that people are having substantial conversations on the service, but while the article seems to see this as Grindr evolving beyond its initial premise, I see it as simply a deepening of a mature platform. Which is to say, if you ever took away the hookup aspect of Grindr, everything comes crashing down. The platform isn't growing beyond hookups, it's layering things on top of it, which seems like a natural evolution. This is great, just not quite as world-changing as the article would have us believe. I sincerely doubt Grindr is a herald for a new means of mass communications.
psyklic 14y ago
A few common uses: only on for stimulation and rarely meet up, hookups, new to town and want to meet friends/going out buddies, looking for a relationship and don't know where else to meet guys, just on it to try it out, visiting and looking for the hot places to go, bored and wasting time. Dating is less formal nowadays, even with women. The distinction between a date and a hookup is getting blurry, since a lot of first dates nowadays end up at least making out. I'd say that even hookup-oriented guys are looking for a relationship with "the right person," so it isn't always clear saying that someone uses a service just for hookups. Plus, hookups often evolve into friendships or dates (and vice versa).

deleted 14y ago

[deleted]

aaroncray 14y ago

Grindr: Get herpes faster than ever!

choxi 14y ago

it's concerning to see TechCrunch-esque "How [X] is Changing the Way We [Y]" articles on the New York Times

glurgh 14y ago
It's an NYT blog, not an article. And you probably mean 'disconcerting'.
- pessimizer 14y ago
  'disconcerting' means something like disorienting,confusing, or plan-upending. 'concerning' means that it looks like a problem that may need attending to; that causes concern. http://thesaurus.com/browse/concerning http://thesaurus.com/browse/concerning : "There are, however, several points in the article that are concerning"
  - glurgh 14y ago
    The trouble is, that's not what 'concerning' means. It does not mean 'causes concern' http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/concerning http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/concerning The usage you're describing might as well be met with the question 'Concerning what?'.
    - pessimizer 14y ago
      The same word often has multiple meanings, and multiple usages.
    - Evbn 14y ago
      Definition 3, my friend.
      - glurgh 14y ago
        Definition which? Let's take a look at the relevant one from the OED. 1.1 That is of concern, that gives cause for consideration; important, weighty. arch. Note the annotation 'archaic' - as in, not actually in current use. Words do, indeed, have multiple meanings. They do also have common usage and this one is just silly and bad writing. 'Concerning' does not mean 'cause for concern' - if you are sure of the contrary, find me a non-blithe usage of it, in that sense, in any current publication that is not a forum post or blog.

charlieok 14y ago

“The one question that Mr. Woo could not answer is how to develop a version of Grindr that works for straight people and women. The company tried to release an app called Blendr, but it has been far less successful that its predecessor. It could simply be that “gay men are early adopters,” he said. “I joke that the wheel was invented by a gay man so he could get to his hookup faster.”” Is this really such a mystery? Women are not nearly as interested in meeting strangers online -- especially for random hookups -- as men are.

Aloisius 14y ago
Plenty of women are interested in meeting strangers and some even in hookups, but only in a safe setting where there is no physical risk and they can leave anytime. It is hard for a hookup service to provide that.
- jiggy2011 14y ago
  Yes, and in my experience women like to be wooed to some extent even for a "casual encounter" whereas guys just want to get on with it. "What is the minimum number of metres I need to walk to get laid" is a solution looking for a problem here.
  - TillE 14y ago
    While there are certainly some gay men who want literally nothing but sex, many want some kind of connection, at least to verify that the other person is minimally sane and practices good hygiene. It's really not so different. The "wooing" process for casual sex generally involves little more than giving signals that you're a normal person, and not a weirdo, creep, or bore.
officemonkey 14y ago
I could see an app like this being a tremendous asset for female sex workers. You're able to find clients who are interested in you, close, and willing to meet when you're available.

NelsonMinar 14y ago

My favorite thing about Grindr is the way the app itself is community-neutral. You could reskin the app and call it "Bible Study Finder" and it would be a fine way to find nearby Christians who want to have an intimate discussion about Jesus. I'm gay myself and do think there's something special about gay male hookup culture that Grindr is uniquely suited to. But the basic lesson of locative apps has to be reusable in other communities.

jiggy2011 14y ago
Well, you might want to change the backend database as well or that could lead to some slightly awkward situations..
- deleted 14y ago
  [deleted]
- Evbn 14y ago
  Outside of the particular constraints of the gay community (and a few other niches), you probably don't need a backend database at all. All the work could be done in the frontend.

martinced 14y ago

Oh woaw. When I saw that Californication episode I thought that such an app was pure fiction : )

moe 14y ago

Since this PR fluff-piece doesn't even try to answer its own question I'll ask a more interesting one: How much did grinder pay for that advert in the NY times blog? It's not like these fuc^H^H^Hhookup sites are a new thing. AdultFriendFinder launched in 1997 and literally dozens of such sites have existed for a similarly long time.

Evbn 14y ago
If they paid, they used grindr to find a journalist looking for a casual story hookup, which makes it a relevant story. Seriously, the NYT blogs are basically people emailing their friends for topics. I get them all the time due to my network of past associates who have become bloggers for NYT, WSJ, etc.