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I was just about to add that it's important to distinguish between "harsh" and "mean." "Dude, you fucked up" is harsh but not mean, and while it isn't to every
by raganwald 14y ago
I was just about to add that it's important to distinguish between "harsh" and "mean."
"Dude, you fucked up" is harsh but not mean, and while it isn't to everyone's taste, it can be a bitter pill that provides the cure. It doesn't really cross the line to mean until the intent becomes more of making someone feel bad than pushing them to get better.
- Udo 14y agoI just realized I come from a country where "don't be an asshole" is a common phrase that is considered harsh but not mean ;-)
- wuest 14y agoDisclaimer: I didn't read the original post, so I'm not sure where it was in your post that the word 'asshole' used to live. In my circles, at least, 'don't be an asshole' and 'you are being an asshole' is harsh-not-mean, while 'you are an asshole' is mean-maybe-harsh. The explicit declaration of state of being, rather than observation of behavior is the differentiator.