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Why would someone want to be humble? Lets look at the definition: hum·ble /ˈhəmbəl/ Adjective Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one

by readme 14y ago

Why would someone want to be humble? Lets look at the definition: hum·ble /ˈhəmbəl/ Adjective Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance. When you're telling someone to be humble, what you're really doing is saying "You're not important, and I want you to know that." To even say that requires some pretension on your own behalf. People should not have a "low estimate" of their own importance. They should have an accurate one, and it's their business to come up with it. Not anyone else's.

DanBC 14y ago
That is one definition of 'humble'. Another is > not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful. And another is > courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong. Both of which seem, IMHO, to be more relevant to the thread than the definition you provide.
- readme 14y ago
  You are correct to list those other definitions. I still think people who tell someone to be humble are pretentious.
- josephlord 14y ago
  > courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong. Maybe it is because I'm English but does anyone say that when they are really being humble? I would assume sugar coating at best and dripping sarcasm at worst. Admittedly it isn't as bad as "with all due respect" followed by something indicating how little respect is considered due.
Anderkent 14y ago
When you're telling someone to be humble, what you're really doing is saying "You're not important, and I want you to know that." That's not what the definition says. By saying you should be more humble, I'm not telling you you're not important. I'm saying you may be important, but flaunting that importance is in bad taste. That's why it says showing a modest estimate of one's importance as one of the definitions. Why is it acting all important for no reason bad? Because if there is no reason for you to pull the "I'm more important than you" card (such as having to make a decision), the impression is you're only doing it to humiliate others.
- chiaro 14y ago
  To go further with this - perceiving this to be in bad taste is social and culturally relative. Is it beneficial to have that? Among Australian entrepreneurs, tall poppy syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome - apologies for bringing yet another phenom into this) is a real and oft talked about stigma. Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? I'd love to have arguments either way on this.
  - Anderkent 14y ago
    Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? I'd love to have arguments either way on this. Peoples estimates of each others ability/importance will not always be in sync. Humbleness prevents or delays conflict when both sides think they are the more important one. Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? Given that people resent you for your achievements, aren't you personally better off being humble (thus decreasing their resentment)? Saying or thinking it's just their problem will not help you, since they will still resent you and presumably act against you.
nwienert 14y ago
That's not the definition of humble OP was referring to. His falls closer to #1 or #4 here[1]. Even many of the most amazing athletes who are known for being outspoken will be humble when they are interviewed or otherwise in the public eye. They may make statements that aren't humble, but the way the act, their facade is of humility. It's a reflection of yourself not your abilities. I could go on. [1] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/humble http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/humble
- readme 14y ago
  If anything, after reading OP's second article, I think he's too humble. OP has accomplished a lot, but his article overall seems to be VERY humble to me. Impostor syndrome is an accurate assessment. FWIW.
skore 14y ago
That's beside the point. The original post was about defending his public statement of his ability. The one you are replying to tried to counter it by saying that a public showing of humility is usually the better option. Because regardless of your ability - whether you think yourself "important" is another issue altogether. There is valid concern over how much sense it makes to write a blog post like he did and whether it shows him just displaying concern for his own importance. Dunning Kruger is very specific about concerning ability and confidence, noting that the distinction between the able and the not able is that the not able tend to be full of themselves (because they literally don't know better) while the able know enough to know how little they know. Which is another definition of humble.
Joeri 14y ago
It is impossible to have an appropriate sense of one's own importance, because we are each at the center of the universe. You cannot step outside of that perspective, so you can either feign humility or self-aggrandize, but there is no possibility for honest self-appraisal. Merely thinking that there is demonstrates that there isn't. Self-driven humility serves a different purpose than deflating people's importance. It is an extension of the fail faster approach to iterative development. By doubting your own accomplishments you can find the faults in them and improve. If you sit back satisfied of your work you are at the peak of your ability, and therefore paradoxically less capable than you could be.

by readme 14y ago

DanBC 14y ago

That is one definition of 'humble'. Another is > not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful. And another is > courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong. Both of which seem, IMHO, to be more relevant to the thread than the definition you provide.

readme 14y ago
You are correct to list those other definitions. I still think people who tell someone to be humble are pretentious.
josephlord 14y ago
> courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong. Maybe it is because I'm English but does anyone say that when they are really being humble? I would assume sugar coating at best and dripping sarcasm at worst. Admittedly it isn't as bad as "with all due respect" followed by something indicating how little respect is considered due.

Anderkent 14y ago

When you're telling someone to be humble, what you're really doing is saying "You're not important, and I want you to know that." That's not what the definition says. By saying you should be more humble, I'm not telling you you're not important. I'm saying you may be important, but flaunting that importance is in bad taste. That's why it says showing a modest estimate of one's importance as one of the definitions. Why is it acting all important for no reason bad? Because if there is no reason for you to pull the "I'm more important than you" card (such as having to make a decision), the impression is you're only doing it to humiliate others.

chiaro 14y ago
To go further with this - perceiving this to be in bad taste is social and culturally relative. Is it beneficial to have that? Among Australian entrepreneurs, tall poppy syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome - apologies for bringing yet another phenom into this) is a real and oft talked about stigma. Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? I'd love to have arguments either way on this.
- Anderkent 14y ago
  Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? I'd love to have arguments either way on this. Peoples estimates of each others ability/importance will not always be in sync. Humbleness prevents or delays conflict when both sides think they are the more important one. Surely we are better off accepting that resentment at the achievements of others is the problem of those resenting? Given that people resent you for your achievements, aren't you personally better off being humble (thus decreasing their resentment)? Saying or thinking it's just their problem will not help you, since they will still resent you and presumably act against you.

nwienert 14y ago

That's not the definition of humble OP was referring to. His falls closer to #1 or #4 here[1]. Even many of the most amazing athletes who are known for being outspoken will be humble when they are interviewed or otherwise in the public eye. They may make statements that aren't humble, but the way the act, their facade is of humility. It's a reflection of yourself not your abilities. I could go on. [1] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/humble http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/humble

readme 14y ago
If anything, after reading OP's second article, I think he's too humble. OP has accomplished a lot, but his article overall seems to be VERY humble to me. Impostor syndrome is an accurate assessment. FWIW.

skore 14y ago

That's beside the point. The original post was about defending his public statement of his ability. The one you are replying to tried to counter it by saying that a public showing of humility is usually the better option. Because regardless of your ability - whether you think yourself "important" is another issue altogether. There is valid concern over how much sense it makes to write a blog post like he did and whether it shows him just displaying concern for his own importance. Dunning Kruger is very specific about concerning ability and confidence, noting that the distinction between the able and the not able is that the not able tend to be full of themselves (because they literally don't know better) while the able know enough to know how little they know. Which is another definition of humble.

Joeri 14y ago

It is impossible to have an appropriate sense of one's own importance, because we are each at the center of the universe. You cannot step outside of that perspective, so you can either feign humility or self-aggrandize, but there is no possibility for honest self-appraisal. Merely thinking that there is demonstrates that there isn't. Self-driven humility serves a different purpose than deflating people's importance. It is an extension of the fail faster approach to iterative development. By doubting your own accomplishments you can find the faults in them and improve. If you sit back satisfied of your work you are at the peak of your ability, and therefore paradoxically less capable than you could be.