4 ms·

- Offer a kindle to your wife - Offer a tablet to your wife - Buy reusable diapers (it's more trouble, but cheaper on long run) - Explain to the wife about t

by BSousa 14y ago

- Offer a kindle to your wife - Offer a tablet to your wife - Buy reusable diapers (it's more trouble, but cheaper on long run) - Explain to the wife about the dangers of some plastics (BPAs, phtalates) and convince her to buy form local artisans (without trying to be political, tell her some of the toys are made by kids not much younger than your own) - Put stuff in boxes you know she won't use. Store them away from her (a shed, storage unit, etc). After a year or so, ask her if she knows where item A,B,C is, and if she needs it. More likely she will have no idea where it is. Explain to her that if the last year she didn't needed that purple striped sweater, she probably won't need it ever. Suggest selling or donating. - Ask for hand-me-downs from friends and family for your kid. It will be harder for he to justify buying new clothes ('But he needs a new pair of trousers') when you can point to the bunch that was given to you. I think just those 5 things reduced a lot of the stuff we have in the house. You will have to manage this of course, you can't expect everything to go your way. She will buy that dress/shoes, but avoid you doing it too just because she tells you also need new shoes. Also, we go on vacation (for her benefit as I really not into it) every once in a while. It is a partnership after.

drags 14y ago
Maybe I'm naive, but the idea of manipulating a partner into doing what one wants really rubs me the wrong way. Wanting things is a legitimate choice, and it seems unfair to deprive someone of that choice through trickery.
- return0 14y ago
  There is manipulation in the opposite direction here too.
- BSousa 14y ago
  Except for storing things away from her to see if she really needs them, none of the other points come close to trickery. All the other things I talk to her, explain. Why buy new clothes every 2 months (seriously, the damn baby just keeps growing) if we can have a lot of hand-me-downs? She loves her kindle and iPad. The toys issue is a real concern and made it her concern as well. I started drinking a lot less because it was a concern for her. I don't think it is manipulation. I hate clutter, she knows it, I try to find solutions where both are ok with it. I mentioned sometimes I get my way, sometimes she gets her way. I can't say for others, but I never found anyone that was 100 percent match in everything I like and believe. I mention it is a partnership. I hate going on holidays, hate it, but I go to make her happy. Of course I expect she does a few things to make me happy. If not (both sides), why the hell are we together? Just to save on rent? Edit: Heck, if you read the top post, you even see I'm going back to work because I want her to have things she really wants.
lilsunnybee 14y ago
Who is this mystery wife that is such a hoarder and consumer? Why don't you discuss these things together like adults? Does she have limited mental faculties, and is incapable of rational, rather than emotional discussion? Is this the 1950's or something?
- BSousa 14y ago
  Actually, MY wife is. As I mentioned in previous thread, the wife in that case refers to my wife. And as I was replying to someone stating a similar boat, I guess it meant suggestions about his wife?

by BSousa 14y ago

drags 14y ago

Maybe I'm naive, but the idea of manipulating a partner into doing what one wants really rubs me the wrong way. Wanting things is a legitimate choice, and it seems unfair to deprive someone of that choice through trickery.

return0 14y ago
There is manipulation in the opposite direction here too.
BSousa 14y ago
Except for storing things away from her to see if she really needs them, none of the other points come close to trickery. All the other things I talk to her, explain. Why buy new clothes every 2 months (seriously, the damn baby just keeps growing) if we can have a lot of hand-me-downs? She loves her kindle and iPad. The toys issue is a real concern and made it her concern as well. I started drinking a lot less because it was a concern for her. I don't think it is manipulation. I hate clutter, she knows it, I try to find solutions where both are ok with it. I mentioned sometimes I get my way, sometimes she gets her way. I can't say for others, but I never found anyone that was 100 percent match in everything I like and believe. I mention it is a partnership. I hate going on holidays, hate it, but I go to make her happy. Of course I expect she does a few things to make me happy. If not (both sides), why the hell are we together? Just to save on rent? Edit: Heck, if you read the top post, you even see I'm going back to work because I want her to have things she really wants.

lilsunnybee 14y ago

Who is this mystery wife that is such a hoarder and consumer? Why don't you discuss these things together like adults? Does she have limited mental faculties, and is incapable of rational, rather than emotional discussion? Is this the 1950's or something?

BSousa 14y ago
Actually, MY wife is. As I mentioned in previous thread, the wife in that case refers to my wife. And as I was replying to someone stating a similar boat, I guess it meant suggestions about his wife?