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Watch it again and look closely at how the video focuses on the woman the entire time. She's child-like and the only one who seems emotionally involved in the r

Watch it again and look closely at how the video focuses on the woman the entire time. She's child-like and the only one who seems emotionally involved in the relationship… but in almost exclusively passive way. (All the dude does is smirk for a fraction of a second when something "nice" occurs.) Every interaction focuses on her. She kisses him on the cheek; he just looks at the camera. She kisses his picture during the "shaving" scene. She watches him walk down the street and talk at her on video… the only personal expression element of the "story" is his. She simply receives it. When she's upset, the focus is on what he does to her — the arm, the drawing, she receives the apology but never participates in a make-up. It looks like the boyfriend is a prop. But the joke is it's that the woman, the focus of everything, is the prop, because it's from the boyfriend's PoV and she's just this super-emo recipient of his actions. Except when she's delivering outsized love he doesn't return (omg! the fawning! the kissing! the posing! the crying! all while he looks on and, if he expresses any emotion, just a smirk). And if you don't believe about the childlike thing, it's capped by the scene at the end where she's hiding under a sheet with one stripey sock sticking out, a direct echo of "kids reading under the covers when the lights are out." No adult does that. So: the video is assuming you, the male viewer, are a narcissist (everything is about you, and ps, you don't have access to real feelings), and that the object of your affection (not "girlfriend" because that implies a two-way street) is a baby. This video is insulting to everyone. Sheesh!

scrumper 14y ago
> she's hiding under a sheet with one stripey sock sticking out, a direct echo of "kids reading under the covers when the lights are out." No adult does that. Have a middlebrow dismissal: my wife does that, and she's 33. She loves hiding. I do have to say that you seem a bit grouchy for someone who works at a baby blue and pink startup called 'Freckle' :)
- ahoyhere 14y ago
  I don't "work" at a "startup," I founded the business! I designed every last bit. That's all me, baby. True cheer doesn't come from denying reality, it comes from understanding life and laughing at the joke. In this case, understanding means understanding narcissism and calling it out (cuz it's opaque to just about everyone else). PS - Does your wife do it while one cutely pigeon-toed stripey-socked foot hangs out and she fawns and coos and pets your virtual image on her iPhone? No? Then sadly it's not a parallel to the video.
  - jonathanconway 14y ago
    Much as I complain about women, I have to admit, this guy is a complete doofus for assuming you "work at" a startup. LOL
  - scrumper 14y ago
    > understanding means understanding narcissism and calling it out (cuz it's opaque to just about everyone else). I enjoyed the irony there :) Apologies for confusing your role at Freckle; "Chief Butt Kicker" was obviously not simple enough for my brain.
jonathanconway 14y ago
Amy, I agree with your analysis, except for what you leave out: Most couples are like this. The woman IS a silly, child-like, passive, docile baby, and the guy IS a silly, narcissistic, self-absorbed robot. These are the ways women behave, and these are the kinds of guys women fall for, because that's what our culture encourages. If you detect a sexist tone in what I'm saying because I seem to be blaming women, I can only say this: in modern western culture it IS women who ultimately choose who sleeps with who. Criminal activities like rape aside, it is women who choose which guys get to be in a relationship with them and which guys don't. So I don't think it's unfair to attribute the bigger part of this to women. Anyway just my opinions.
- ahoyhere 14y ago
  "Sure, they're babies! But they're babies with POWER!" I guess you live in the movie The Incredibles?
  - jonathanconway 14y ago
    I didn't say women have power, I just said women are in control when it comes to sex, in western societies. This is assuming normal, legal situations. Of course all forms of rape are an exception to this. There's just no getting around the fact that women CHOOSE to be with men like this. Those men are "winners" in regard to relationships, except that it's not much of a victory to win the type of women they win.
    - ahoyhere 14y ago
      You convinced me. It's a fact! It's a fact because you called it "the fact that." On a serious note, I'm sorry you feel* that way (* not think, no matter how much you think it's "logical"), but have you ever considered that it's you?
      - jonathanconway 14y ago
        If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with men like this, by choice. So which is it, Amy? If most women don't go for men like this, then most relationships aren't like this. But then why would a profit-seeking company spend the dollars on a video that portrays people like this? You yourself implied (I think) in a recent tweet, that this company was disregarding ethics to appeal to a mass audience. "@DanielAmitay well no point in asking THAT, since avg corporate ethics is clear for all to see. :) q: do they KNOW what they're doing?" If most women aren't like this, who's the company's marketing aimed at? A tiny minority? And by the way, when did I ever say it wasn't "me"? I'm not claiming any moral high-ground here. I never said women shouldn't be the way they are. If I'm upset, it's just because I happen to lose out in today's culture. But I never said (or even implied) that the culture should change. The culture is what it is and I am what I am, and I just have to deal with that.

scrumper 14y ago

> she's hiding under a sheet with one stripey sock sticking out, a direct echo of "kids reading under the covers when the lights are out." No adult does that. Have a middlebrow dismissal: my wife does that, and she's 33. She loves hiding. I do have to say that you seem a bit grouchy for someone who works at a baby blue and pink startup called 'Freckle' :)

ahoyhere 14y ago
I don't "work" at a "startup," I founded the business! I designed every last bit. That's all me, baby. True cheer doesn't come from denying reality, it comes from understanding life and laughing at the joke. In this case, understanding means understanding narcissism and calling it out (cuz it's opaque to just about everyone else). PS - Does your wife do it while one cutely pigeon-toed stripey-socked foot hangs out and she fawns and coos and pets your virtual image on her iPhone? No? Then sadly it's not a parallel to the video.
- jonathanconway 14y ago
  Much as I complain about women, I have to admit, this guy is a complete doofus for assuming you "work at" a startup. LOL
- scrumper 14y ago
  > understanding means understanding narcissism and calling it out (cuz it's opaque to just about everyone else). I enjoyed the irony there :) Apologies for confusing your role at Freckle; "Chief Butt Kicker" was obviously not simple enough for my brain.

jonathanconway 14y ago

Amy, I agree with your analysis, except for what you leave out: Most couples are like this. The woman IS a silly, child-like, passive, docile baby, and the guy IS a silly, narcissistic, self-absorbed robot. These are the ways women behave, and these are the kinds of guys women fall for, because that's what our culture encourages. If you detect a sexist tone in what I'm saying because I seem to be blaming women, I can only say this: in modern western culture it IS women who ultimately choose who sleeps with who. Criminal activities like rape aside, it is women who choose which guys get to be in a relationship with them and which guys don't. So I don't think it's unfair to attribute the bigger part of this to women. Anyway just my opinions.

ahoyhere 14y ago
"Sure, they're babies! But they're babies with POWER!" I guess you live in the movie The Incredibles?
- jonathanconway 14y ago
  I didn't say women have power, I just said women are in control when it comes to sex, in western societies. This is assuming normal, legal situations. Of course all forms of rape are an exception to this. There's just no getting around the fact that women CHOOSE to be with men like this. Those men are "winners" in regard to relationships, except that it's not much of a victory to win the type of women they win.
  - ahoyhere 14y ago
    You convinced me. It's a fact! It's a fact because you called it "the fact that." On a serious note, I'm sorry you feel* that way (* not think, no matter how much you think it's "logical"), but have you ever considered that it's you?
    - jonathanconway 14y ago
      If women don't CHOOSE to be with men like this, then either A) women are with men like this, but not by choice, or B) women aren't with men like this, by choice. So which is it, Amy? If most women don't go for men like this, then most relationships aren't like this. But then why would a profit-seeking company spend the dollars on a video that portrays people like this? You yourself implied (I think) in a recent tweet, that this company was disregarding ethics to appeal to a mass audience. "@DanielAmitay well no point in asking THAT, since avg corporate ethics is clear for all to see. :) q: do they KNOW what they're doing?" If most women aren't like this, who's the company's marketing aimed at? A tiny minority? And by the way, when did I ever say it wasn't "me"? I'm not claiming any moral high-ground here. I never said women shouldn't be the way they are. If I'm upset, it's just because I happen to lose out in today's culture. But I never said (or even implied) that the culture should change. The culture is what it is and I am what I am, and I just have to deal with that.