> I wanted to understand the mechanics of every lapse... It's a futile exercise, and counterproductive. Therapy falls apart when you get stuck in the loop of a

> I wanted to understand the mechanics of every lapse... It's a futile exercise, and counterproductive. Therapy falls apart when you get stuck in the loop of asking "why did I do this?" The important part is not to do that, but that's not what we want, because that would involve real, actual change. And as we know, feeling bad about yourself > the pain of changing. > a girl asked me, "So do you prefer Vancouver food or Hong Kong food?". And I responded with a 5 minute dissection of the question to better understand what the question was asking, because the answer could vary depending on the question's true meaning and intent. Your answer should have been, "howcome?", or "X is my favorite, howcome?"