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This is a disempowering way of looking at it. Why focus on the wall when you could focus on the door? It is radically more useful to phrase the takeaway as "A
by patio11 14y ago
This is a disempowering way of looking at it. Why focus on the wall when you could focus on the door?
It is radically more useful to phrase the takeaway as "All business is conducted by humans, and all humans rich and poor need to eat. Culturally, business is often conducted over food. Knowing these facts, you can use food to create a social connection for cheap where creating a business connection would be otherwise impossible."
That's actually pretty good advice, and it's at the heart of a lot of good advice you're going to get for career development, like arranging for coffee dates and business lunches with people who are in the line of Yes-es that you need to get hired.
- jiggy2011 14y agoOh, I'm not suggesting it's a bad idea pragmatically. It's just a little sad that you are more like to be lauded for buying pizza for somebody who could probably afford an entire houseful of pizza, vs doing something to really help somebody.
- aero142 14y agoHe didn't just buy him a pizza, he showed independence and initiative.
- thirdtruck 14y agoAnd we all love receiving the attention of someone who actively listens, which requires a learnable skill that most people neglect to learn. Having a respectful audience carries significant emotional and psychological value to the speaker, so Sivers likely also had that much to offer to Wozniak.
- po 14y agovs doing something to really help somebody. He is doing something to help somebody who needs it: himself. Your fixating on the monetary transaction is getting in the way. It could have been a random act of kindness. The money is just a small signal of giving-a-damn (there are others) that most people wouldn't jump over. He's being lauded for helping himself, not the executive.
- jiggy2011 14y agoIt's not "giving a damn" it's kissing ass.
- po 14y agoThis is a different argument than 'he doesn't need the favor' and as Patrick said about that one this is also a disempowering view. If you're going to look at the world through the lens of power, control and socioeconomic status then you're surely going to find it wherever you look but sure, let's tackle this one too. Let's define 'kissing ass' as doing someone with the power to help you a favor you wouldn't otherwise do (hence the ass kiss), to get favorable treatment. This would fall under that definition, but then so would all kinds of things like tipping a waiter or buying your date a rose. So, what can we add to the definition to make it work? The only thing I can think of is that we don't like the idea that the favor is to someone who isn't a peer - someone above you. But Sivers' point is that you are peers in all the ways that matter. To have opportunities open up to you, you just need two things: 1.) be provably somewhat above average at something (even if that thing is just showing initiative) and 2.) get yourself on other people's radar. You can do the first with a website and the second with an email. Back when he started out, he didn't have websites and email so he used 'showing problem-solving initiative' and a handshake. Sivers didn't just laugh at a joke or pay empty compliments, he took a risk, took initiative, and signaled that he was a person worth knowing. Later when he got a job offer he was not just collecting on a favor, he was also providing value: he worked his ass off for them. Calling people who show initiative and motivation to open up their options 'ass kissers' is crab mentality. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality
- codeonfire 14y agoThe reason this sort of thing does not sit well with some people is that this does not work from an ethical standpoint in many fields. What if doctors, lawyers, or engineers all got to skip school because they bought the right person some lunch? Obviously things got so bad in the past that those fields are now heavily regulated. It's not a matter of just being a hard worker. If someone works relationships to get a job and then an airplane crashes it is bad news for everyone. Clearly, when flying at 35,000 feet you want the most skilled person to have designed your plane, not the guy who bought lunch for the right person. People in the 'serious' professions already have to put up with dishonesty, battle daily with unethical coworkers and organizations, and have to work with someone's crappy family member hire. So to applaud ass kissers who get a job based on connections is very bad for society. If it's just about music or acting or some non-serious field, the no one cares and no one does care.