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Doesn't make me feel bad. I'm happy when I see my friends having fun. I couldn't care less if a friend posts a humblebrag. If he feels good about something, goo

Doesn't make me feel bad. I'm happy when I see my friends having fun. I couldn't care less if a friend posts a humblebrag. If he feels good about something, good for him. Friends on exotic vacations? Can't wait to ask them about it in person. I don't see how any of these things should make us depressed. EDIT: Yes my friends' lives seem more interesting than mine. Good for them if it's true, and good for them even if it isn't true, if it made them feel better to post it.

mburshteyn 14y ago
This comment made me feel bad, because it sounds like you have cool friends. :) :(
clicks 14y ago
Yeah, it's a little different when you're poor. When you're poor, and you see others doing things that you can't do because you can't afford them, you're directly reminded that you're poor. This results in negative emotions.
- tgrass 14y ago
  The most enviable posts from my friends are from those who make less than I do.
  - clicks 14y ago
    I'm assuming you manage to make more than 50k. It's when you're making below 30k (which a lot of Americans do) that life becomes hard and you see yourself get demoralized easily. Software engineers et al. (the userbase of HN) are paid well -- the larger majority of Americans have professions that don't pay as well. Sensitivity to financial health is a lot heightened to folks in lower end of the pay spectrum.
    - precisioncoder 14y ago
      I would say a vibrant social life with creative fun friends is way more important the money you make. I was working two minimum wage jobs, around 60 hours per week in order to save money and had a happier life than now when I'm making much more on one software engineering job. Location, social opportunities, family, friends, and culture trump money most of the time. Great advice I heard is make a list of your favorite possessions, then make a list of your most expensive possessions, check for overlap.
      - Nursie 14y ago
        Having a vibrant social life costs money, if you have none spare it's hard to keep up with people even just in terms of transport to get to see them. Also my car is at the top of both lists :)
        precisioncoder 14y ago
        That's why I put location in there. One of my number one goals right now is to be able to live within walking distance of friends and families. It's currently ranked way above income. I bike to work during the warm months and use public transportation during the cold ones. It does have the disadvantage that I won't take jobs that aren't within range of public transportation or biking, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
- greggman 14y ago
  Maybe if you replaced "you're" with "I'm" and "you" with "I". Seeing people with more money than me doesn't depress me. It might give me something aspire to. Or maybe I've just watched too much sponge bob and don't need money to be happy.
  - im3w1l 14y ago
    The statistics in the article trumps your anecdote. Yes, only a minority (large minority) feel jealous, so it is certainly possible not to.
deleted 14y ago
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mikegioia 14y ago
> I don't see how any of these things should make us depressed. Of course, they SHOULDn't make us depressed, but the sad reality is that being constantly exposed to fun things you're not a part of can actually make people depressed.
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mbesto 14y ago
This post could be also be titled and written: Why Facebook Makes You Feel Good About Yourself

mburshteyn 14y ago

This comment made me feel bad, because it sounds like you have cool friends. :) :(

clicks 14y ago

Yeah, it's a little different when you're poor. When you're poor, and you see others doing things that you can't do because you can't afford them, you're directly reminded that you're poor. This results in negative emotions.

tgrass 14y ago
The most enviable posts from my friends are from those who make less than I do.
- clicks 14y ago
  I'm assuming you manage to make more than 50k. It's when you're making below 30k (which a lot of Americans do) that life becomes hard and you see yourself get demoralized easily. Software engineers et al. (the userbase of HN) are paid well -- the larger majority of Americans have professions that don't pay as well. Sensitivity to financial health is a lot heightened to folks in lower end of the pay spectrum.
  - precisioncoder 14y ago
    I would say a vibrant social life with creative fun friends is way more important the money you make. I was working two minimum wage jobs, around 60 hours per week in order to save money and had a happier life than now when I'm making much more on one software engineering job. Location, social opportunities, family, friends, and culture trump money most of the time. Great advice I heard is make a list of your favorite possessions, then make a list of your most expensive possessions, check for overlap.
    - Nursie 14y ago
      Having a vibrant social life costs money, if you have none spare it's hard to keep up with people even just in terms of transport to get to see them. Also my car is at the top of both lists :)
      - precisioncoder 14y ago
        That's why I put location in there. One of my number one goals right now is to be able to live within walking distance of friends and families. It's currently ranked way above income. I bike to work during the warm months and use public transportation during the cold ones. It does have the disadvantage that I won't take jobs that aren't within range of public transportation or biking, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
greggman 14y ago
Maybe if you replaced "you're" with "I'm" and "you" with "I". Seeing people with more money than me doesn't depress me. It might give me something aspire to. Or maybe I've just watched too much sponge bob and don't need money to be happy.
- im3w1l 14y ago
  The statistics in the article trumps your anecdote. Yes, only a minority (large minority) feel jealous, so it is certainly possible not to.

deleted 14y ago

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mikegioia 14y ago

> I don't see how any of these things should make us depressed. Of course, they SHOULDn't make us depressed, but the sad reality is that being constantly exposed to fun things you're not a part of can actually make people depressed.

deleted 14y ago

[deleted]

mbesto 14y ago

This post could be also be titled and written: Why Facebook Makes You Feel Good About Yourself