You are wise. You may have more of an impact with a discreet riposte to the person at the time the incident happens. Not to embarrass him (the first time), bu

You are wise. You may have more of an impact with a discreet riposte to the person at the time the incident happens. Not to embarrass him (the first time), but a simple "this sucks and here's why" kind of non-emotional response. It's the kind of thing you have to be prepared to deliver- maybe even rehearsed (we all have those situations in our lives that take us by such surprise that we're stunned for a while). It's entirely possible that the guy thought he was being funny, has no idea he wasn't and genuinely finds women painful because he's so ignorant. By adopting the role of teacher, you may win a valuable ally. But there is a more subtle effect here (if you're still reading and haven't thrown something at the monitor yet). This response from you, if you do it the way I have in mind (even if I'm not articulating it properly), will be entirely patronizing, in fact it will be patronizing in exactly the way men like this patronize you (and I know you know what I'm talking about-- see below). It is delivered from a position of strength, not weakness, in the sense that you are giving sage advice: is he smart enough to see it? Some will be, some won't. Beyond this, remember to trust your gut. Sometimes the guy is just an asshole (a big clue is if other guys think he's an asshole) and words like I've written above are totally off-the-mark for the situation. My wife is in a male-dominated (at her level) role, and I hear these stories all the time. Sometimes my advice is helpful- often she tells me to just STFU and listen. YMMV.