Hi I went/going through exactly the same scenario you had. The main point I took (and it took me a few years to do so) is that when she starts on a depressing

Hi I went/going through exactly the same scenario you had. The main point I took (and it took me a few years to do so) is that when she starts on a depressing spiral, no matter how much I love her, I need to separate myself from it. Be slightly colder towards her problem and focus on myself, still take care of herself but not be sucked in too her 'imaginary' problems (like being late for something, or something at home isn't perfect), while that may seem harsh, it was the only thing that worked for me) I started with depressive/suicide thoughts after years of this situation when I always lived a relatively stress free and happy life and I couldn't take it anymore. I explained to her this, and how, even though it maybe be worse for her, it was better for myself and our child if at least I was able to remain 'saner'. It is still hard as well. As toby mentioned, depression really is contagious. Maybe not 'I'm going to blow my head off' contagious, but after a few years dealing almost 24 hours with someone you love that is depressed, your outcome of life ends so messed up you start spiralling too. All the luck toby! Bruno