I would say just snap out of it. I mean that sincerely. All those things you mention don't matter. People in far worse position than you, assuming what you've s

I would say just snap out of it. I mean that sincerely. All those things you mention don't matter. People in far worse position than you, assuming what you've said is an accurate portrayal, go on to become very successful. Sure, you could say they are anomalies. But, you've made it to this site, you don't write like a moron, I find it hard pressed to believe it is hopeless. You are here so I wonder, do you have some interest in programming? Many people have programming jobs that don't have CS degrees. You mention your age, and sure out in the Valley there are those types that have the mindset of Logan's Run and about age 28 is time when programmers need to be put out to pasture, but this is not true in most places, probably not totally true in the Valley either. If you want to do programming, or anything, learn skills and go for it. You don't need to be so attractive that 90% of companies want to hire you; you just need to find that one person that will take a chance on you. I recently met someone much older than you, take six months learning .NET and C# (this is not an advertisement for that platform just a real example), then found a job as a contractor at a government agency (or sub contractor) and started building experience, now he has no problems finding programming work. It's not glamorous mega high paying stuff but it's not bad and he's not even that driven. So, early 30's is not the end of the world. How to stop regretting? Spend some time with animals, zoos, dogs. They live in the moment. Start doing that for awhile, but work on a plan for your future but don't look back. It's pointless. Also, you're not alone. A lot of people feel this way, even people you might think of as pretty successful. Good luck and get out there!