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I hesitate something like that to be instantly apologized away. We all fall down, we all make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes instead of trying to just get

I hesitate something like that to be instantly apologized away. We all fall down, we all make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes instead of trying to just get by. Have you even read the article? Here's a quote: "please know this is not an excuse — because there is none." and "My focus now is to embrace my true self, seek forgiveness from those I have wronged, repair any outstanding damage, and learn to speak honestly from my heart. I hope I get the chance to prove this to you." Doesn't sound like someone is looking for an easy way to sweep this under the carpet to me, at all. So some reactions here are kinda curious to me. I mean sure, I don't care either: I wasn't emotionally involved with the fact that this stranger lied to other strangers, so I don't care about the apology either, it's just not something that concerns me. But I assume it didn't really affect anyone who is now being a hard-ass about her public apology, either. being a serial deceiver is no way to live a life. You say that as if that is not exactly what she wrote, too. wtf? I say good for her, and good luck. Having had relationships with chronical liars, I often thought, as much as all of that sucked and hurt, that I would MUCH rather be lied to, than be addicted to telling lies, because I'm sure that hurts, too. You know, I'd even go so far to say that usually(!), it hurts the chronical liar much more than the people they're lying to, especially when it's to be loved or respected; they really do want that respect, so desperately so that they're willing to lie for it; but what is respected is an image they made up, a lie they told. To me this is like a junkie robbing someone; yeah, that sucks, but being a junkie sucks so much more. Mind you, I am merely arguing for compassion, not justifying lies. But one thing is sure, unless you were directly affected by any of this, it's simply not your place to accept or reject this apology.

dmschulman 14y ago
I never knew about Shirley until I read her apology today, though I have encountered many chronic liars over the course of time. It would be wrong of me to judge someone I've never met before, though I believe her behavior speaks for itself. She may very well be seeking to change her behaviors, but given the reason for which she felt it necessary to write an apology, I will wait to see what Shirley is up to in a few months. To repent is one thing, but to demonstrate positive steps forward is another.
- glimmung 14y ago
  It'd be good to see both, but it all takes time. I wish her well.
glimmung 14y ago
Good to see a humane response - the general tone of the responses here is profoundly depressing. If I'd done something comparable, I fear that I'd find it very hard to get straight without a little more basic human goodwill than is evidenced in this thread.
- neumann_alfred 14y ago
  Especially considering the recent and mostly positive reaction to the clever "hack" of selling fake facebook girlfriends, haha? It's almost as if we like our bullshit constant, in-your-face, and without any apologies or interruptions whatsoever (as George Carlin pointed out talking about Bill Clinton ^^). Burn those who come clean, suck up to those who don't. Anyway, this is between her and the people she deceived, and I am hopeful that people closer to it would react less petty... I mean, maybe I missed something, but what's even the big deal? What, exactly, was the huge harm that was done here? Oh god, she TOOK away jobs others should have had; it's not like she was given them, no no no, she snatched them with her decepta-claws, people were helpless against the might of photoshop. Instead of, say, people giving a fuck about who you know too much, and about what people supposedly did, more than they care (or even pay attention to) what people are saying or doing this moment causing those job mis-allocations, having caused them before that, and still being causing them. The in crowd is not the problem, faking membership is. It's a meritocracy, after all! You couldn't make this stuff up, really. It's not like she became a brain surgeon or president under false pretenses, it was just some web crap, right? Right?! Just consider Bush and Mr. Hope & Change, and this quote, which is so depressingly accurate today as it probably was then: "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." (Aesop) It's easy to bash a young girl who got caught, lost her job, is seeking counseling; that is the lowest hanging fruit there is. Sure, one doesn't exclude the other, and I'm not claiming anyone bashing her isn't also bashing other deception; but still, I call bollocks on this. She got found out, she came clean, she basically only just started working on herself; what more do you want? Hopefully she'll find the strength (support is nice, inner strength is nicer) to open new doors for herself; she always missed out on being the same person on the inside as on the outside, so she has a lot of cool things to discover.. who wouldn't be happy for that? So to Mr. and Mrs. Snarky Pants I have to say something else Nietzsche said (about Christianity), something along the lines of something that crawls on the ground snatching at anything attempting to fly. It's just disgusting to flaunt Nietzsche to be petty and small-minded. That's some serious clown shit. Remember the soul searching about Aaron asking for help on HN? I don't bring that up to play with emotions; Someone asking for help, someone asking for forgiveness, same fucking thing. "You broke it, you own it", "I am not convinced until I really see anything, like, she has to contribute to open source and shit, and until then I'm going to be an ass" -- yeah, right. I really have to stress, who even asked any of you, how can you forgive something that was not done to you? The answer is of course nobody, and not at all. Good we cleared that up then huh ^^

dmschulman 14y ago

I never knew about Shirley until I read her apology today, though I have encountered many chronic liars over the course of time. It would be wrong of me to judge someone I've never met before, though I believe her behavior speaks for itself. She may very well be seeking to change her behaviors, but given the reason for which she felt it necessary to write an apology, I will wait to see what Shirley is up to in a few months. To repent is one thing, but to demonstrate positive steps forward is another.

glimmung 14y ago
It'd be good to see both, but it all takes time. I wish her well.

glimmung 14y ago

Good to see a humane response - the general tone of the responses here is profoundly depressing. If I'd done something comparable, I fear that I'd find it very hard to get straight without a little more basic human goodwill than is evidenced in this thread.

neumann_alfred 14y ago
Especially considering the recent and mostly positive reaction to the clever "hack" of selling fake facebook girlfriends, haha? It's almost as if we like our bullshit constant, in-your-face, and without any apologies or interruptions whatsoever (as George Carlin pointed out talking about Bill Clinton ^^). Burn those who come clean, suck up to those who don't. Anyway, this is between her and the people she deceived, and I am hopeful that people closer to it would react less petty... I mean, maybe I missed something, but what's even the big deal? What, exactly, was the huge harm that was done here? Oh god, she TOOK away jobs others should have had; it's not like she was given them, no no no, she snatched them with her decepta-claws, people were helpless against the might of photoshop. Instead of, say, people giving a fuck about who you know too much, and about what people supposedly did, more than they care (or even pay attention to) what people are saying or doing this moment causing those job mis-allocations, having caused them before that, and still being causing them. The in crowd is not the problem, faking membership is. It's a meritocracy, after all! You couldn't make this stuff up, really. It's not like she became a brain surgeon or president under false pretenses, it was just some web crap, right? Right?! Just consider Bush and Mr. Hope & Change, and this quote, which is so depressingly accurate today as it probably was then: "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." (Aesop) It's easy to bash a young girl who got caught, lost her job, is seeking counseling; that is the lowest hanging fruit there is. Sure, one doesn't exclude the other, and I'm not claiming anyone bashing her isn't also bashing other deception; but still, I call bollocks on this. She got found out, she came clean, she basically only just started working on herself; what more do you want? Hopefully she'll find the strength (support is nice, inner strength is nicer) to open new doors for herself; she always missed out on being the same person on the inside as on the outside, so she has a lot of cool things to discover.. who wouldn't be happy for that? So to Mr. and Mrs. Snarky Pants I have to say something else Nietzsche said (about Christianity), something along the lines of something that crawls on the ground snatching at anything attempting to fly. It's just disgusting to flaunt Nietzsche to be petty and small-minded. That's some serious clown shit. Remember the soul searching about Aaron asking for help on HN? I don't bring that up to play with emotions; Someone asking for help, someone asking for forgiveness, same fucking thing. "You broke it, you own it", "I am not convinced until I really see anything, like, she has to contribute to open source and shit, and until then I'm going to be an ass" -- yeah, right. I really have to stress, who even asked any of you, how can you forgive something that was not done to you? The answer is of course nobody, and not at all. Good we cleared that up then huh ^^