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I've experienced that flip. It's scary. I should have never rejected the stalker. I've been told, and believe, that the only course of action for the stalked i

I've experienced that flip. It's scary. I should have never rejected the stalker. I've been told, and believe, that the only course of action for the stalked is to COMPLETELY IGNORE the stalker, until something threatening and legally actionable happens. Anything else you do, positive or negative, simply adds fuel to the fire. It really sucks and makes you feel helpless, but the legal system simply doesn't offer any refuge for stalking victims unless it passes a certain threat threshold. After about a year of ignoring him, my stalker got bored. But I still fear his return. I got a single tweet from him about 6months ago that made me worry for a bit, but it was just 1 single tweet and didn't continue.

btilly 14y ago
This is in line with advice that other people that I know have received. I am glad that it seems to have worked out for you.
rwmj 14y ago
In the UK, stalking is now specifically a criminal offence (since late last year): http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20482930 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20482930
- UnoriginalGuy 14y ago
  That law does seem like it would be effective, but it also seems hugely broad. Just reading it it seems like you can accuse anyone of "stalking" even after contacting you a couple of times... I'm not saying such laws aren't good, I'm just saying that the way that particular one is written means that it couple potentially overly criminalise a lot of situations.
  - rwmj 14y ago
    It wouldn't be the first time that something has been over-criminalized, but you can read what the Home Office is saying about the new measures here: http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/about-us/corporate-publications-strategy/home-office-circulars/circulars-2012/018-2012/ http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/about-us/corporate-publications... Note that because this was introduced as a "patch" to a 1997 act, it's very hard to understand what the law now actually says. If only they'd use version control ...
femto 14y ago
Agree, completely ignore a stalker, BUT save a record of every contact made. If you have a trusted third party, or two, periodically give them copies of everything, so that if things escalate they can vouch for you and the ongoing nature of the harassment. --- Edit: Thinking about it more, I retract the "ignore comment", and replace it with "use your judgement", as the best response will vary with the situation. I stand by the "keep a record" comment.

btilly 14y ago

This is in line with advice that other people that I know have received. I am glad that it seems to have worked out for you.

rwmj 14y ago

In the UK, stalking is now specifically a criminal offence (since late last year): http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20482930 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20482930

UnoriginalGuy 14y ago
That law does seem like it would be effective, but it also seems hugely broad. Just reading it it seems like you can accuse anyone of "stalking" even after contacting you a couple of times... I'm not saying such laws aren't good, I'm just saying that the way that particular one is written means that it couple potentially overly criminalise a lot of situations.
- rwmj 14y ago
  It wouldn't be the first time that something has been over-criminalized, but you can read what the Home Office is saying about the new measures here: http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/about-us/corporate-publications-strategy/home-office-circulars/circulars-2012/018-2012/ http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/about-us/corporate-publications... Note that because this was introduced as a "patch" to a 1997 act, it's very hard to understand what the law now actually says. If only they'd use version control ...

femto 14y ago

Agree, completely ignore a stalker, BUT save a record of every contact made. If you have a trusted third party, or two, periodically give them copies of everything, so that if things escalate they can vouch for you and the ongoing nature of the harassment. --- Edit: Thinking about it more, I retract the "ignore comment", and replace it with "use your judgement", as the best response will vary with the situation. I stand by the "keep a record" comment.