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I have two children. My five year-old recently was tired and hungry, and had a fit when presented with a croissant to eat because it was slightly crushed where

I have two children. My five year-old recently was tired and hungry, and had a fit when presented with a croissant to eat because it was slightly crushed where I held it too tightly. Overreacting? Well, that is what I would call an inappropriate reaction, and of course it's part of my job as a parent to provide some guidance. But it's still 100% the genuine emotion of the moment, and for that reason I'm not going to use the word "overreacting" with a child or an adult. I'm going to say (as I said, roughly) "I understand this isn't what you'd like, however..." Which is roughly what I'd say to an adult too.

circlefavshape 14y ago
I have 2 children too, and this made me chuckle Of course in this situation what I'd want to do is roar "AAAARGH! WHY CAN'T YOU BE REASONABLE?", but, alas, that doesn't work.
- raganwald 14y ago
  In the fullness of time, the roles will be reversed. "Daddy, you're OVERREACTING to my genetic modifications. IT'S UNREASONABLE to demand that I go for a DNA scan before you let me go to the brain-rave!!!"
Millennium 14y ago
This holds that "genuine" emotional reactions are all equally valid. What makes rage over a slightly-crushed croissant a valid emotional response? There is also a question of what makes the "genuine" qualifier necessary. It presupposes the idea of an emotional response that is not genuine: what would this mean? What would a "false" emotional response look like, to the one feeling it (and are they truly feeling it at all?) or to others?
- DanBC 14y ago
  > This holds that "genuine" emotional reactions are all equally valid. What makes rage over a slightly-crushed croissant a valid emotional response? It was from a five year old. Children haven't learnt how to regulate their emotions. That's part of the job of parenting.
  - Millennium 14y ago
    That makes it genuine, certainly. Maybe even understandable. But does that mean it's valid?
- raganwald 14y ago
  Let me get the thesis of the post out of the way first. The post asserts that the word "overreacting" is unproductive to discussion. If someone's emotional reaction is genuine, i.e. represents how they feel, then you or I may think it's 100% bogus and invalid, but their response to the word "overreacting" is still going to be negative. Now what I meant by "genuine"--and I'm open to learning that I used the word incorrectly--is that it represents how they feel. The alternative, to me, is when someone feigns anger or distress in order to consciously manipulate people.

circlefavshape 14y ago

I have 2 children too, and this made me chuckle Of course in this situation what I'd want to do is roar "AAAARGH! WHY CAN'T YOU BE REASONABLE?", but, alas, that doesn't work.

raganwald 14y ago
In the fullness of time, the roles will be reversed. "Daddy, you're OVERREACTING to my genetic modifications. IT'S UNREASONABLE to demand that I go for a DNA scan before you let me go to the brain-rave!!!"

Millennium 14y ago

This holds that "genuine" emotional reactions are all equally valid. What makes rage over a slightly-crushed croissant a valid emotional response? There is also a question of what makes the "genuine" qualifier necessary. It presupposes the idea of an emotional response that is not genuine: what would this mean? What would a "false" emotional response look like, to the one feeling it (and are they truly feeling it at all?) or to others?

DanBC 14y ago
> This holds that "genuine" emotional reactions are all equally valid. What makes rage over a slightly-crushed croissant a valid emotional response? It was from a five year old. Children haven't learnt how to regulate their emotions. That's part of the job of parenting.
- Millennium 14y ago
  That makes it genuine, certainly. Maybe even understandable. But does that mean it's valid?
raganwald 14y ago
Let me get the thesis of the post out of the way first. The post asserts that the word "overreacting" is unproductive to discussion. If someone's emotional reaction is genuine, i.e. represents how they feel, then you or I may think it's 100% bogus and invalid, but their response to the word "overreacting" is still going to be negative. Now what I meant by "genuine"--and I'm open to learning that I used the word incorrectly--is that it represents how they feel. The alternative, to me, is when someone feigns anger or distress in order to consciously manipulate people.