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>The author sleeps well at night while the victim still has to deal with the feathers spread all over the mountain that is the Internet. This read like a hyper

>The author sleeps well at night while the victim still has to deal with the feathers spread all over the mountain that is the Internet. This read like a hyperbole to me. Heather has received a lot of support and positive attention because three guys made abusive tweets about her code. This incident will blow over very quickly (as most internet drama is want to do) and in the end Heather will come out as the vindicated victim while the other three guys will try to maintain their reputation. I would argue that this is a great PR moment for Heather. Heck, I wish some well-known figures in the Ruby community would tear apart my OSS contributions so I could get some free publicity.

vacri 14y ago
Not to mention that a little bit of adversity breeds resilience. If you're coddled from all criticisms, you deal less well with other stressors. Done right, frank and forthright exchange of opinions is faster than couching things in friendly terms. Look at the way Torvalds, Jobs, and Gates worked - these guys happen to be the keystones of the 'big three'. It consumes a lot of time, couching a negative opinion in soft, cuddly terms to 'avoid offense', and having a bit of resilience can smooth over rough corners in communication.
- eropple 14y ago
  It consumes a lot of time, couching a negative opinion in soft, cuddly terms to 'avoid offense' No, it emphatically does not, and the assumption that it does (and that it is thus not "worth" trying to not be an asshole) is one of the more pervasive diseases among "computer people". If you sufficiently internalize that there is another human being at the other end of the line, basic humanity should lead toward communication with that in mind.
  - pbiggar 14y ago
    Not to mention the fact that Torvalds, Jobs and Gates all used their frank and forthright exchange with people they worked with, whom they knew, and who knew the deal in working for them. That is quite different from blasting opinions at strangers over twitter.
    - vacri 14y ago
      I'm more responding to the idea that it's reprehensible to be exposed to harsh comments than the idea it's bad making them in the first place. I've never read the twitter involved and sure, it's probably awful. But that happens in the world. Catch public transport enough and you'll encounter it. Go shopping enough and you'll encounter it. Having some resilience is not a bad thing. In my personal experience, people with low resilience are also the people who avoid reading news about bad events and current affairs, because it upsets them. So they lead more of a fantasy life. I don't think ignoring problems in the hope that they'll go away is the right way to be. EDIT: I've now read the tweet and the total offending commentary is 'eyes bleeding'. That's it. Compare to the reams that have been written in this post about how insincere his apology is and what a prick he is. If he was to write up a blog post about how he'd ended up sobbing because HN had been so mean, the comments here would probably not be 'sorry, that was mean of us', they'd be mostly 'you deserved it', like moral crusaders. There's a lot of hypocrisy going on in this thread.
  - vacri 14y ago
    I've spent many a year working in support and also as a medical technician working with patients, and a year or so doing TA work. I've done a lot of hand-holding when getting a point across, and I've always done well in performance reviews. I'm quite aware of the human on the other end of the line. I'm here to tell you that it does take extra time. 'Manners cost nothing' is a not a statement referring to time. There is also a difference between being rude and being frank. And there is a continuum of response between 'trying not to be an arsehole' and 'being an arsehole' - it's not a binary choice. Why does being frank suddenly mean you've lost 'basic humanity'? That kind of opinion is a disease in itself.
  - nitrogen 14y ago
    If you sufficiently internalize that there is another human being at the other end of the line, basic humanity should lead toward communication with that in mind. "Sufficiently internaliz[ing]" the emotions of another human being may be difficult or impossible for many who are drawn to the computer field due to the way their brains are wired, either due to childhood bullying stunting their empathic development, or to things like autism spectrum disorders. For people in that situation, suggesting a pragmatic mental model may be more helpful than saying, "You're a jerk, and you're wrong," which might come across as like saying to a deaf person, "You never listen, and you're wrong."
    - __cle 14y ago
      Bullshit
      - nitrogen 14y ago
        Human minds are much more diverse than most people accept or realize. For example, consider these comments from someone who has no visual imagination: http://lesswrong.com/user/lindagert/overview/ http://lesswrong.com/user/lindagert/overview/ Also see: http://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Typical_mind_fallacy http://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Typical_mind_fallacy
    - dpark 14y ago
      Could we stop with the Asperger's fetishism? The vast majority of people in technical fields do not have any autism spectrum disorders. The vast majority of people who are jerks do not have any autism spectrum disorders, either. Most people who act like jerks (in both technical and non-technical fields) are just that: jerks. Autism-type disorders don't just manifest as asshole behavior, and certainly not as just snarky inconsiderate behavior. They affect interpersonal interactions in general. Saying that jerks in tech fields have autism spectrum disorders makes as much sense as saying MBAs have sociopathic disorders. "When I hurt my coworker's feelings, it's because I'm autistic. When my boss hurts mine, it's because he's a psychopath." Yeah right.
      - 14y ago
- shardling 14y ago
  >Not to mention that a little bit of adversity breeds resilience. If you're coddled from all criticisms, you deal less well with other stressors. That's the sort of psychological pablum that sounds reasonable, but I'm not sure it's actually true.
  - vacri 14y ago
    It's a generational phenomenon hitting the children of helicopter parents, and similarly hitting the One Child Policy children in China.
    - droidist2 14y ago
      I think this is often overstated. Every generation thinks today's kids "have it easy" and "are soft." In previous times it was more about the physical or about working with your hands. Now because the world is more about the mental and social we accuse kids of being emotionally soft. When you think about it though, imagine growing up with today's technology. Think about how bad Facebook can make you feel, when everyone seems to be having a good time and living perfect lives (because that's what they want you to see). Or how public life and the possibility of embarrassment, awkwardness, and ridicule can now follow us everywhere. Now remember how stressful being a teenager and going to high school can be on its own. I really don't know how kids today handle it.

vacri 14y ago

Not to mention that a little bit of adversity breeds resilience. If you're coddled from all criticisms, you deal less well with other stressors. Done right, frank and forthright exchange of opinions is faster than couching things in friendly terms. Look at the way Torvalds, Jobs, and Gates worked - these guys happen to be the keystones of the 'big three'. It consumes a lot of time, couching a negative opinion in soft, cuddly terms to 'avoid offense', and having a bit of resilience can smooth over rough corners in communication.

eropple 14y ago
It consumes a lot of time, couching a negative opinion in soft, cuddly terms to 'avoid offense' No, it emphatically does not, and the assumption that it does (and that it is thus not "worth" trying to not be an asshole) is one of the more pervasive diseases among "computer people". If you sufficiently internalize that there is another human being at the other end of the line, basic humanity should lead toward communication with that in mind.
- pbiggar 14y ago
  Not to mention the fact that Torvalds, Jobs and Gates all used their frank and forthright exchange with people they worked with, whom they knew, and who knew the deal in working for them. That is quite different from blasting opinions at strangers over twitter.
  - vacri 14y ago
    I'm more responding to the idea that it's reprehensible to be exposed to harsh comments than the idea it's bad making them in the first place. I've never read the twitter involved and sure, it's probably awful. But that happens in the world. Catch public transport enough and you'll encounter it. Go shopping enough and you'll encounter it. Having some resilience is not a bad thing. In my personal experience, people with low resilience are also the people who avoid reading news about bad events and current affairs, because it upsets them. So they lead more of a fantasy life. I don't think ignoring problems in the hope that they'll go away is the right way to be. EDIT: I've now read the tweet and the total offending commentary is 'eyes bleeding'. That's it. Compare to the reams that have been written in this post about how insincere his apology is and what a prick he is. If he was to write up a blog post about how he'd ended up sobbing because HN had been so mean, the comments here would probably not be 'sorry, that was mean of us', they'd be mostly 'you deserved it', like moral crusaders. There's a lot of hypocrisy going on in this thread.
- vacri 14y ago
  I've spent many a year working in support and also as a medical technician working with patients, and a year or so doing TA work. I've done a lot of hand-holding when getting a point across, and I've always done well in performance reviews. I'm quite aware of the human on the other end of the line. I'm here to tell you that it does take extra time. 'Manners cost nothing' is a not a statement referring to time. There is also a difference between being rude and being frank. And there is a continuum of response between 'trying not to be an arsehole' and 'being an arsehole' - it's not a binary choice. Why does being frank suddenly mean you've lost 'basic humanity'? That kind of opinion is a disease in itself.
- nitrogen 14y ago
  If you sufficiently internalize that there is another human being at the other end of the line, basic humanity should lead toward communication with that in mind. "Sufficiently internaliz[ing]" the emotions of another human being may be difficult or impossible for many who are drawn to the computer field due to the way their brains are wired, either due to childhood bullying stunting their empathic development, or to things like autism spectrum disorders. For people in that situation, suggesting a pragmatic mental model may be more helpful than saying, "You're a jerk, and you're wrong," which might come across as like saying to a deaf person, "You never listen, and you're wrong."
  - __cle 14y ago
    Bullshit
    - nitrogen 14y ago
      Human minds are much more diverse than most people accept or realize. For example, consider these comments from someone who has no visual imagination: http://lesswrong.com/user/lindagert/overview/ http://lesswrong.com/user/lindagert/overview/ Also see: http://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Typical_mind_fallacy http://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Typical_mind_fallacy
  - dpark 14y ago
    Could we stop with the Asperger's fetishism? The vast majority of people in technical fields do not have any autism spectrum disorders. The vast majority of people who are jerks do not have any autism spectrum disorders, either. Most people who act like jerks (in both technical and non-technical fields) are just that: jerks. Autism-type disorders don't just manifest as asshole behavior, and certainly not as just snarky inconsiderate behavior. They affect interpersonal interactions in general. Saying that jerks in tech fields have autism spectrum disorders makes as much sense as saying MBAs have sociopathic disorders. "When I hurt my coworker's feelings, it's because I'm autistic. When my boss hurts mine, it's because he's a psychopath." Yeah right.
    - 14y ago
shardling 14y ago
>Not to mention that a little bit of adversity breeds resilience. If you're coddled from all criticisms, you deal less well with other stressors. That's the sort of psychological pablum that sounds reasonable, but I'm not sure it's actually true.
- vacri 14y ago
  It's a generational phenomenon hitting the children of helicopter parents, and similarly hitting the One Child Policy children in China.
  - droidist2 14y ago
    I think this is often overstated. Every generation thinks today's kids "have it easy" and "are soft." In previous times it was more about the physical or about working with your hands. Now because the world is more about the mental and social we accuse kids of being emotionally soft. When you think about it though, imagine growing up with today's technology. Think about how bad Facebook can make you feel, when everyone seems to be having a good time and living perfect lives (because that's what they want you to see). Or how public life and the possibility of embarrassment, awkwardness, and ridicule can now follow us everywhere. Now remember how stressful being a teenager and going to high school can be on its own. I really don't know how kids today handle it.