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This is crazy... So crazy I can see it actually catching on. I'm quite interested to see how many people start using this. I also like how they say "[each] Cr
by Breakthrough 14y ago
This is crazy... So crazy I can see it actually catching on. I'm quite interested to see how many people start using this.
I also like how they say "[each] Crazy Blind Date account is tied to a phone" I'd argue that's a very false sense of security/safety, as it's trivial for anyone to obtain a different (or temporary) phone number. On that point though, I guess you're just as safe with a blind internet date as with one you "electronically know".
And heck, let's be honest with ourselves. Maybe it will work better if you, the technically-inclined HN reader, is not allowed to pick-and-choose who you're going to date next, but your next date is chosen based on your interests and some "magic". After all, isn't that how love is supposed to work?
- ajays 14y ago2-3 years ago OKC tried this CBD here in SF. I tried it, but couldn't get 1 date out of it. Most of the times, there was no response; and the one time we decided to meet somewhere, she didn't show up. Then OKC shut it down. On asking women friends, the general feeling I got was that women were much more leery of going on a blind date, figuratively, blind about the other person. However: that was my experience with women in their 30s. Will it be the same for women in their, say, early 20s? Who knows. As it is we're seeing a massive shift in social interactions with SnapChat, FB Poke, etc. People are sexting more, for instance. It is a good idea, which, if executed well, can have legs.
- wtracy 14y agoI'm 26. I've had one young woman on OKC make the first move and ask me out, so I suspect you're right that 20-somethings are more willing to date online. (Since I'm sure everyone is curious now: Neither one of us wanted a second date. Yeah.)
- king_jester 14y agoWomen have much more to lose on a blind date then men in general, as it only takes one creeper to ruin blind dating for someone. As others pointed out, traditional blind dates are set up by people who know something about both parties, so I'm not sure how well this will take off. As for SnapChat et al., are people using it anonymously between strangers? I had thought that the usage was mostly for people who already knew each other but wanted disposable messages.
- monksy 14y agoAre you saying women can't be overly clingy or frequently misinterpreting non-spoken communication?
- king_jester 14y agoNo, women can totally do that, I'm more referring to things that threatens your safety or integrity, like someone assaulting or stalking you.
- PeterBB 14y agoAnd just to head off the inevitable shitstorm at the pass: No one is saying that assault or stalking cannot happen to men. It does happen, and is tragic. However, women are more systematically threatened by such things in our society, and modify their behavior to avoid such things to a far greater extent than men do.
- monksy 14y agoPersonally I see it more of a game that women play to frustrate men as much as possible and this is a consequence of being overly picky. I'm not saying its right to behave hurt, or act aggressively. But it is rather screwed up when women collect points between each other for intentionally misleading guys or falsely leading them on to reject them. [Builds the ego]
- afarrell 14y agoWow. That sounds like you've just found a clique of terrible people. I have bunches of of female friends in a couple different social circles and have never seen this behavior. The closest I've seen is a woman being friendly with a guy while being oblivious to the fact that he's flirting with her and then not knowing what to do when she realizes he's got a crush on her. Until he actually asks her out, I'm not sure there is a way to resolve this that isn't wicked awkward. Just saying, "Hey I'm not attracted to you.", out of the blue is kinda odd.
- krenoten 14y agoHave they come up with a way to incentivize following through with plans, or reducing the fear of spending time with somebody you haven't had some contact with? There seems to be a very low social/emotional cost to abandoning plans you make with a stranger that you have not vetted. I can imagine a very high abandonment effect, as you experienced.
- fossuser 14y agoSince regular online dating is completely broken - this approach seems better but still doesn't get it quite right. I actually think the situation is even worse with women in their early twenties (that they'd be even less likely to use a service like this). Anecdotally it seems women 28-35 are much more willing to try different methods of dating than younger ones (or are even looking to actually date in general).
- pavel_lishin 14y ago> Since regular online dating is completely broken It is?
- hnriot 14y ago"regular online dating is completely broken" - hogwash! Facebook is the dating site of choice. Women use it to get a feel for guys they hear about/meet through their friends. By checking their social interactions, their friends, their education etc they can get a good idea of the person. People are as good at this as they are picking out a face in a crowd, several million years of evolution has ensured this. the women under 28 don't bother with any of this because they are typically in social situations (like college) where they meet people all the time and getting dates is trivial. Their only concern is their appearance and safety. They want to appear to their peer group to be dating well and with guys that add to their status, which is where facebook comes in. It may not be workig for you, but online dating is not broken at all...
- fossuser 14y agoI guess I wasn't clear - obviously Facebook works brilliantly for this (and the relationship status piece was one of the driving forces behind its college adoption). By 'online dating' I was referring to actual online dating sites like okcupid, match, eharmony, plenty of fish etc.
- white_devil 14y ago> Anecdotally it seems women 28-35 are much more willing to try different methods of dating than younger ones (or are even looking to actually date in general). This is hardly surprising, because by that time, they're well on their way to becoming "invisible" to men.
- aetherson 14y agoMore like four years ago. I used it back then, twice, getting two dates out of it. The first was reasonably fun but we probably weren't really right for each other and we didn't do a second date. The second resulted in a three month or so relationship. (Oh, and both I and my dates were hovering somewhere right around 30). So my experience, from admittedly few data points, is that it was at LEAST as successful as normal internet dating, maybe much more successful. I think that it matched me well on one fairly crucial axis: women who were interested in actually going out and seeing what you thought of a person. I found that a big killer of potential meetings on OKC proper was this death-slog of trying to assure perfect compatibility prior to a face-to-face meeting. All this said, I eventually found my fiancee through non-internet means.
- jedberg 14y agoIf they're smart, they'll allow the women to see the men's pictures, but not vice-versa. It's not fair, but it will help solve the very real problem of women being leery of blind dates.
- its_true 14y agohttps://www.google.com/voice https://www.google.com/voice
- run4yourlives 14y agoI'm not sure if a "literal" blind date is a good thing. Most "blind dates" that people go on traditionally come through friends of friends. That means they aren't vetted just for interests and such but the datee/victim can be reasonably sure they are also vetted for personal appearance. Let's face it - this is huge. Depending on the friend, they can also be vetted based on a few of the hundreds of idiosyncrasies that a person has. I've been out of the dating scene for quite some time but I don't think personal profiles have advanced all that much. Especially when people are notoriously bad at actually describing themselves in an accurate way. After all, we all think we're normal. The truth is rather different. Instead of computer programs, why not just develop a site that lets your friends (your real friends) pick your perspective blind date? That would be the million dollar idea right there, IMHO.
- untog 14y agowhy not just develop a site that lets your friends (your real friends) pick your perspective blind date? Crowdsourcing dating. It's an interesting idea, but I'm not convinced it would work. The prospective date would have to be a friend of all the friends 'voting'- if you have that many friends in common you probably already know each other. Or even if you don't, your social circles are close enough that a bad date could be socially awkward.
- krenoten 14y agoI can imagine a large percentage of first uses being friends intentionally trying to send their friends on horrible dates as a gag. Having a 2-sided suggestion may work well, where you can suggest a date, D, for one of your trusted friends, F. Any of D's trustees can see D's suggestions, and vote to confirm. If the vote is successful by some metric, F's trustees can perform a similar vote. If this final vote succeeds, D & F are presented with the opportunity.
- run4yourlives 14y agoNot crowd-source, friends. As in people you know and have a beer with IRL. People that might actually care about the outcome and aren't just looking for laughs.
- 127001brewer 14y agoMagic? Most likely not... "The competition to attract the most desirable mates is ferocious. Consequently, those most valuable are perpetually in short supply compared to the many who desire them. People who are themselves high in mate value succeed in attracting the most desirable partners. In the crude informal American metric, the 9s and 10s pair off with other 9s and 10s. And with decreasing value from the 8s to the 1s, people must lower their mating sights commensurately. Failure to do so produces a higher probability of rejection and psychological anguish. ..." [1] [1] http://edge.org/response-detail/23862 http://edge.org/response-detail/23862
- bjourne 14y agoThat's so incredibly cynical. Maybe I'm the only one putting favoring other attributes higher than physical looks? Or I'm just butt ugly and can't get any of the good looking ones?