I think you nailed it for me with having to confront out best selves and their absence. It's why I keep thinking of this George Orwell verse where he cursed his

I think you nailed it for me with having to confront out best selves and their absence. It's why I keep thinking of this George Orwell verse where he cursed his own cynicism upon meeting an idealistic young soldier in Barcelona (hat tip to Hitchens): For the fly-blown words that make me spew Still in his ears were holy, And he was born knowing what I had learned Out of books and slowly. Later on he ends: But the thing I saw in your face No power can disinherit: No bomb that ever burst Shatters the crystal spirit.