9 ms·

As long as people realize that porn itself is a caricature of sex, then it's fine. Usually sex is a lot more clumsy, and a lot shorter than any of the porn mov

by kjackson2012 14y ago

As long as people realize that porn itself is a caricature of sex, then it's fine. Usually sex is a lot more clumsy, and a lot shorter than any of the porn movies you find on the web. Guys with huge penises that take 45 mins to climax, women with huge breasts that love to get finished on, etc, is not how most of the world is. It's certainly exciting to see, but it's totally unrealistic. It's sort of like martial arts. Real martial arts isn't guys jumping 30 ft at each other, or fighting 10 opponents at once, doing somersaults, etc. If kids go to martial arts training expecting this, they will be sorely disappointed. Most martial arts is practicing moves over and over again. It's tedious and boring for those that are expecting Jackie Chan or Jet Li. Over the course of many years, you can get to a certain level of expertise. But the martial arts movies are essentially a caricature. Hopefully the kids growing up today realize this.

TeMPOraL 14y ago
> Hopefully the kids growing up today realize this. Martial arts - maybe. But if your never had sex and your only education on the topic is porn, then how could you know how it really looks like? And then you have your first, and second, and third time, and you feel a bit disappointed that it didn't feel or look like you expected, and even if you realize that porn is a caricature, you're still left wondering, how much of the difference between porn and real life is because of lack of realism in videos, and how much is because of your deficiencies. It's a real problem and it's sad that the only sexual education kids usually get comes from porn. EDIT There was a TED talk about this topic once, [0]. While her site doesn't have much content and I don't recall the book being very insightful (though definitely an interesting read), she raises some good points so I recommend the video (it's 4 minutes). [0] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc
- malandrew 14y ago
  Having porn before sex is probably a lot more instructive and useful to our sexual well being than an alternative world where your only contact with sex before having it is just private conversations about it with the few people you feel comfortable discussing it with. I'm very glad that I live in a post Kinsey Report world.
  - mikecaron 14y ago
    I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or allow you to do it to them, there's something wrong. If that kind of porn is what is instructing our youth, then we will have a very dangerous society to live in. Ref: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaCt6qUL_Pk&feature=share http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaCt6qUL_Pk&feature=share I'm a father of 3 girls. I'm teaching them all how to defend themselves with and without a gun.
    - malandrew 14y ago
      I was making a generalization, obviously imperfect and not applicable to all porn, and you simply pulled out a strawman argument. Sexual violence towards women existed well before any porn ever existed. For example, the vikings raped and pillaged. I'm pretty sure they didn't have porn available to motivate them. There are many more examples. Rape has been a constant in history and was not uncommon well before porn became readily available.
      - mikecaron 14y ago
        I'm not saying there'd be no rape without porn. What I am saying is that rape and violence toward women increases with it.
        malandrew 14y ago
        Citation needed. Your statement is purely speculative otherwise. In fact, a search for "rape vs porn" suggests that it reduces rape: http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/10/how_the_web_prevents_rape.html http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/1... http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf
- elisehein 14y ago
  While I think the talk articulates very well what the issues are with the wide spreading of online porn, the problem is not that this isn't known -- it's how to cope with realising that your own desires are preventing you from enjoying anything other than some of the examples the speaker highlights.
- rmk2 14y ago
  Since you already linked to Cindy Gallop, there is also the associated website: http://makelovenotporn.com/ http://makelovenotporn.com/
  - cindygallop 14y ago
    Thank you :) Do also check out https://makelovenotporn.tv/ https://makelovenotporn.tv/
- cindygallop 14y ago
  Thank you for recommending me! :) I've now brought MakeLoveNotPorn.com to life as https://makelovenotporn.tv/ https://makelovenotporn.tv/ - do check it out.
konstruktor 14y ago
I also hope hat young people also realize hat the depiction of sex in Hollywood movies or romantic novels is just as much an abstraction.

TeMPOraL 14y ago

> Hopefully the kids growing up today realize this. Martial arts - maybe. But if your never had sex and your only education on the topic is porn, then how could you know how it really looks like? And then you have your first, and second, and third time, and you feel a bit disappointed that it didn't feel or look like you expected, and even if you realize that porn is a caricature, you're still left wondering, how much of the difference between porn and real life is because of lack of realism in videos, and how much is because of your deficiencies. It's a real problem and it's sad that the only sexual education kids usually get comes from porn. EDIT There was a TED talk about this topic once, [0]. While her site doesn't have much content and I don't recall the book being very insightful (though definitely an interesting read), she raises some good points so I recommend the video (it's 4 minutes). [0] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc

malandrew 14y ago
Having porn before sex is probably a lot more instructive and useful to our sexual well being than an alternative world where your only contact with sex before having it is just private conversations about it with the few people you feel comfortable discussing it with. I'm very glad that I live in a post Kinsey Report world.
- mikecaron 14y ago
  I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or allow you to do it to them, there's something wrong. If that kind of porn is what is instructing our youth, then we will have a very dangerous society to live in. Ref: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaCt6qUL_Pk&feature=share http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaCt6qUL_Pk&feature=share I'm a father of 3 girls. I'm teaching them all how to defend themselves with and without a gun.
  - malandrew 14y ago
    I was making a generalization, obviously imperfect and not applicable to all porn, and you simply pulled out a strawman argument. Sexual violence towards women existed well before any porn ever existed. For example, the vikings raped and pillaged. I'm pretty sure they didn't have porn available to motivate them. There are many more examples. Rape has been a constant in history and was not uncommon well before porn became readily available.
    - mikecaron 14y ago
      I'm not saying there'd be no rape without porn. What I am saying is that rape and violence toward women increases with it.
      - malandrew 14y ago
        Citation needed. Your statement is purely speculative otherwise. In fact, a search for "rape vs porn" suggests that it reduces rape: http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/10/how_the_web_prevents_rape.html http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/1... http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf
elisehein 14y ago
While I think the talk articulates very well what the issues are with the wide spreading of online porn, the problem is not that this isn't known -- it's how to cope with realising that your own desires are preventing you from enjoying anything other than some of the examples the speaker highlights.
rmk2 14y ago
Since you already linked to Cindy Gallop, there is also the associated website: http://makelovenotporn.com/ http://makelovenotporn.com/
- cindygallop 14y ago
  Thank you :) Do also check out https://makelovenotporn.tv/ https://makelovenotporn.tv/
cindygallop 14y ago
Thank you for recommending me! :) I've now brought MakeLoveNotPorn.com to life as https://makelovenotporn.tv/ https://makelovenotporn.tv/ - do check it out.

konstruktor 14y ago

I also hope hat young people also realize hat the depiction of sex in Hollywood movies or romantic novels is just as much an abstraction.