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I have tried to quit porn before. In high school I tried very hard, for religious reasons. I never succeeded. In college I got to the point where 2 30-90 minute

I have tried to quit porn before. In high school I tried very hard, for religious reasons. I never succeeded. In college I got to the point where 2 30-90 minute sessions daily was the norm. I then tried to quit again. I went 5 days, and then 4 days, and then gave up on the idea, resigning myself to immense sexual activity. Every month or so, I'll go on a complete rampage with as many as 10 orgasms a day for 2-3 days, rarely coming out of my room. Sometimes it even interferes with food. My sexual tastes have grown increasingly complex, sometimes illegal, sometimes not outwardly sexual at all (example, the thought of loneliness in a girl). It has changed how I look at nearly everything, but I'm not ready to conclude that it has been for the worse. I had sex for the first time this week. I didn't climax. My parter had no issues but I was completely uninterested, which is interesting because I had been looking forward (greatly) to the encounter for more than a week. But when it finally happened... complete disinterest. I did my best to think of porn and at least play along, but part of me felt that was more rude than just failing to climax so I sat back and let my partner enjoy her share. ED was no issue. It's worth adding that I had never met the girl before, seen pics and talked via phone but never met in person. I had little (if any) emotional attraction to the girl, and for this reason specifically I'm not very worried. It just caught my attention because I would never have guessed that a 19yo boy would go through 40 minutes of sex with an attractive girl and not climax. Since then I've been more motivated to quit, but I'm still not ready to conclude that porn has been a negative or bad experience. It has consistently given me a lot to think about, especially watching my interests and needs shift over the past few years. I've noticed a better control over my need for porn but it's only been a few days.

Evbn 14y ago
You sound like millions of other hormonally charged teens. You will be fine. Porning all day is over doing it, but still is far better than syphilis and herpes and AIDS and surprise pregnancy jealousy and heartbreak and all the jazz that comes with immature sex outside of a committed relationship.
danenania 14y ago
I'd recommend that you quit the porn for awhile just to show yourself that you can. But to me it sounds like the issue for you is probably less about porn specifically and more just being inside, on the computer, and in your own head too much. Try taking a few days in a row to get up early and be outside, active, and away from the computer all day, ideally with other people you enjoy being around if possible. Hiking, camping trips, road trips with friends, even volunteering are all things that can help you to clear out compulsive and destructive thought cycles and get a better outlook on things. The world is a really beautiful, rich, and incredible place--porn is quite empty and boring by comparison. Even in the realms of sexuality and eroticism, you can find a lot more potent and interesting forms of arousal out there if you open up to other people and new experiences. I'd guess if you could start to do that, the pull porn has on you would naturally subside.
saraid216 14y ago
Don't try to quit. Look into how programs for quitting smoking work. Quitting cold turkey is painful. Some people can do it, but most people can't. Instead, there is a ton of stuff out there to help people step down gradually. Instead of stopping cold, rate limit yourself. You already have a solid baseline of your current frequency. Pick something a bit less and don't go over that for a week. Figure out some strategies for coping; I'd suggest going for long walks to public places. Note that you've achieved that milestone and step it down another notch the next week. You don't have to go all the way to zero unless you want to, either. Demonstrating to yourself that you've got a measure of control is important.
kahawe 14y ago
Don't read too much into your first encounter. Chances are you do need to "rewire" some parts of your brain and experiences to the physical sensation, so just keep at it. So far you have only been at it visually. Just keep at it and focus on the sensation, focus on your partner. In my own experience, there is a distinct difference between just the physical act and actually making love, where you feel close to each other. The former usually comes first, the latter takes time to become familiar and especially comfortable with each other! So, give it time, relax, don't stress yourself like that. I don't understand why sex has become this generation's absolute number 1 priority, the one thing everyone defines themselves almost religiously through and reads way too much into. Everyone has seen "group action" and gets off on borderline cartoon rape and, to quote SouthPark, Japanese girls vomiting on each other... at the same time people are so alienated from each other they can barely look at others in a pub or start talking to people, so then they flock to "pickup artists" and countless self-help books teaching them yet more ways of "getting into someone else's pants" and then all they are left with is the urgent, defining feeling of having to "perform" and live up to an allegedly commonly-agreed-upon standard - instead of valuing actual human interaction and truly accepting one self and others and feeling welcome and whole in another person's presence.

Evbn 14y ago

You sound like millions of other hormonally charged teens. You will be fine. Porning all day is over doing it, but still is far better than syphilis and herpes and AIDS and surprise pregnancy jealousy and heartbreak and all the jazz that comes with immature sex outside of a committed relationship.

danenania 14y ago

I'd recommend that you quit the porn for awhile just to show yourself that you can. But to me it sounds like the issue for you is probably less about porn specifically and more just being inside, on the computer, and in your own head too much. Try taking a few days in a row to get up early and be outside, active, and away from the computer all day, ideally with other people you enjoy being around if possible. Hiking, camping trips, road trips with friends, even volunteering are all things that can help you to clear out compulsive and destructive thought cycles and get a better outlook on things. The world is a really beautiful, rich, and incredible place--porn is quite empty and boring by comparison. Even in the realms of sexuality and eroticism, you can find a lot more potent and interesting forms of arousal out there if you open up to other people and new experiences. I'd guess if you could start to do that, the pull porn has on you would naturally subside.

saraid216 14y ago

Don't try to quit. Look into how programs for quitting smoking work. Quitting cold turkey is painful. Some people can do it, but most people can't. Instead, there is a ton of stuff out there to help people step down gradually. Instead of stopping cold, rate limit yourself. You already have a solid baseline of your current frequency. Pick something a bit less and don't go over that for a week. Figure out some strategies for coping; I'd suggest going for long walks to public places. Note that you've achieved that milestone and step it down another notch the next week. You don't have to go all the way to zero unless you want to, either. Demonstrating to yourself that you've got a measure of control is important.

kahawe 14y ago

Don't read too much into your first encounter. Chances are you do need to "rewire" some parts of your brain and experiences to the physical sensation, so just keep at it. So far you have only been at it visually. Just keep at it and focus on the sensation, focus on your partner. In my own experience, there is a distinct difference between just the physical act and actually making love, where you feel close to each other. The former usually comes first, the latter takes time to become familiar and especially comfortable with each other! So, give it time, relax, don't stress yourself like that. I don't understand why sex has become this generation's absolute number 1 priority, the one thing everyone defines themselves almost religiously through and reads way too much into. Everyone has seen "group action" and gets off on borderline cartoon rape and, to quote SouthPark, Japanese girls vomiting on each other... at the same time people are so alienated from each other they can barely look at others in a pub or start talking to people, so then they flock to "pickup artists" and countless self-help books teaching them yet more ways of "getting into someone else's pants" and then all they are left with is the urgent, defining feeling of having to "perform" and live up to an allegedly commonly-agreed-upon standard - instead of valuing actual human interaction and truly accepting one self and others and feeling welcome and whole in another person's presence.