4 ms·

If your co-worker sleeps with your wife, can you ask your boss to fire him? Just because he's a manager and makes hiring decisions based on technical abilities

If your co-worker sleeps with your wife, can you ask your boss to fire him? Just because he's a manager and makes hiring decisions based on technical abilities doesn't give him the power to exact revenge for personal problems.

fatbird 14y ago
Actually, in any at-will employment state in the U.S., he certainly does have the power, just because he's a manager. I'd go so far as to say that in all the U.S., he has a right to fire the guy; he just might have to give him severance because 'fucking my wife' isn't 'for cause'. And on a practical level, no one could reasonably expect him to continue working with, let alone managing someone who'd done this, in this small a company.
- shawn-butler 14y ago
  I believe the supreme court of Iowa recently ruled that an employer (a dentist I believe) was not wrong to fire an female employee to whom he found himself irresistably sexually attracted. According to court docs, his wife wanted her fired and he did so. [0] Dentist had made some pretty dumb comments that could probably count as a hostile work environment but he wasn't liable for wrongful termination. Obviously doesn't apply anywhere but Iowa but interesting nonetheless. [0]: http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/2012...
donw 14y ago
This isn't about revenge. It's about dealing with a breech of trust and a massive conflict of interest. I don't want my business depending on someone I can't trust, especially if that someone is going to be on the opposite side of a massive legal battle (divorce, in this case). The owner of the company would be irresponsible to allow his employee to continue while the situation is unresolved; at a minimum, he'd be suspended until after the divorce proceedings complete. Frankly, I'd get rid of him on the deception and dishonesty alone, because keeping that kind of employee around is a disservice to the rest of the company.
- greggman 14y ago
  It's never that simple. Was the husband an asshole and the other guy was the wife's shoulder to cry on? There are plenty of scenarios where the employee would feel justified in his actions. That's not a breach of trust. It's the messy world of relationships.
  - pekk 14y ago
    Regardless of whether the husband was an asshole or the employee feels justified, no one is ENTITLED to sleep with the dude's wife without repercussions.
  - clarky07 14y ago
    It doesn't matter if the husband was an asshole. If she divorced him and later decided to start a relationship with this guy that's one thing. There is no scenario where it's ok to screw another man's wife, and you have to be a real idiot to be screwing your boss's wife. It is most definitely a breach of trust.
  - rogerbinns 14y ago
    Indeed I would point out that the marriage contract was between the husband and wife. It was the marriage contract that was broken and it was the wife who broke it. The employee had no contract with the husband regarding who he had sex with. Assuming the employee was unmarried he broke no contracts with anyone. Would the employee be fired for adultery with anyone else? Would other employees be fired for it? Ultimately the employee is guilty of moral turpitude, and the employer should apply the same rules on everyone regarding it.
  - colmvp 14y ago
    At one of my old jobs, a co-worker who was also our bosses best friend had intimate relations with the bosses wife. Now, obviously it's inexcusable. But then it's complicated. My boss worked and traveled a lot, leaving his stay at home wife alone and lonely in a city where she didn't have many friends and was also pretty young. And my coworker had been friends with both of them for a long time and was also quite lonely. My coworker ended up leaving the company, while my boss separated from his wife for a few months before reconciling things and moving back into together. Trust is a hard thing to regain after its lost but they seemed to have worked it out. Prior to that incident I had a very black and white view of adultery and to some extent I still do. But now I understand circumstances can be very tough for some, and I can't judge them for the vulnerabilities that afflict humans.
brittohalloran 14y ago
If your coworker sleeps with your wife you go to your boss and say "it's me or him, but I can't work with him".
- mrtron 14y ago
  I would love to hear people's response to that situation at a startup.
clarky07 14y ago
Yes you can. He doesn't have to, but I suspect I'd say it's either me or him as working together isn't a good option for anyone. It's bad for both employees, and also bad for the company. Either I quit, or you fire him.

fatbird 14y ago

Actually, in any at-will employment state in the U.S., he certainly does have the power, just because he's a manager. I'd go so far as to say that in all the U.S., he has a right to fire the guy; he just might have to give him severance because 'fucking my wife' isn't 'for cause'. And on a practical level, no one could reasonably expect him to continue working with, let alone managing someone who'd done this, in this small a company.

shawn-butler 14y ago
I believe the supreme court of Iowa recently ruled that an employer (a dentist I believe) was not wrong to fire an female employee to whom he found himself irresistably sexually attracted. According to court docs, his wife wanted her fired and he did so. [0] Dentist had made some pretty dumb comments that could probably count as a hostile work environment but he wasn't liable for wrongful termination. Obviously doesn't apply anywhere but Iowa but interesting nonetheless. [0]: http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/2012...

donw 14y ago

This isn't about revenge. It's about dealing with a breech of trust and a massive conflict of interest. I don't want my business depending on someone I can't trust, especially if that someone is going to be on the opposite side of a massive legal battle (divorce, in this case). The owner of the company would be irresponsible to allow his employee to continue while the situation is unresolved; at a minimum, he'd be suspended until after the divorce proceedings complete. Frankly, I'd get rid of him on the deception and dishonesty alone, because keeping that kind of employee around is a disservice to the rest of the company.

greggman 14y ago
It's never that simple. Was the husband an asshole and the other guy was the wife's shoulder to cry on? There are plenty of scenarios where the employee would feel justified in his actions. That's not a breach of trust. It's the messy world of relationships.
- pekk 14y ago
  Regardless of whether the husband was an asshole or the employee feels justified, no one is ENTITLED to sleep with the dude's wife without repercussions.
- clarky07 14y ago
  It doesn't matter if the husband was an asshole. If she divorced him and later decided to start a relationship with this guy that's one thing. There is no scenario where it's ok to screw another man's wife, and you have to be a real idiot to be screwing your boss's wife. It is most definitely a breach of trust.
- rogerbinns 14y ago
  Indeed I would point out that the marriage contract was between the husband and wife. It was the marriage contract that was broken and it was the wife who broke it. The employee had no contract with the husband regarding who he had sex with. Assuming the employee was unmarried he broke no contracts with anyone. Would the employee be fired for adultery with anyone else? Would other employees be fired for it? Ultimately the employee is guilty of moral turpitude, and the employer should apply the same rules on everyone regarding it.
- colmvp 14y ago
  At one of my old jobs, a co-worker who was also our bosses best friend had intimate relations with the bosses wife. Now, obviously it's inexcusable. But then it's complicated. My boss worked and traveled a lot, leaving his stay at home wife alone and lonely in a city where she didn't have many friends and was also pretty young. And my coworker had been friends with both of them for a long time and was also quite lonely. My coworker ended up leaving the company, while my boss separated from his wife for a few months before reconciling things and moving back into together. Trust is a hard thing to regain after its lost but they seemed to have worked it out. Prior to that incident I had a very black and white view of adultery and to some extent I still do. But now I understand circumstances can be very tough for some, and I can't judge them for the vulnerabilities that afflict humans.

brittohalloran 14y ago

If your coworker sleeps with your wife you go to your boss and say "it's me or him, but I can't work with him".

mrtron 14y ago
I would love to hear people's response to that situation at a startup.

clarky07 14y ago

Yes you can. He doesn't have to, but I suspect I'd say it's either me or him as working together isn't a good option for anyone. It's bad for both employees, and also bad for the company. Either I quit, or you fire him.