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At school, she was hoping that it wouldn't be too big of a deal, but even the principal knew about the video. He brought her to his office and called her mom.

At school, she was hoping that it wouldn't be too big of a deal, but even the principal knew about the video. He brought her to his office and called her mom. "I couldn't even look at my mother because I felt hurt and I also felt that I disrespected her," she says. "I didn't want kids in the school to look at my mother and be like, 'Wow, she raised nothing.' " A big amplifying factor in these examples seems to be a society and an upbringing that cannot to deal with sexuality in a pragmatic manner, and instead prefers a "everybody's doing it, but nobody is talking about it publicly" approach. If someone posts intimate pictures or videos of somebody else without their knowledge, it should be the poster that is shamed and that people disrespect for it -- after all he has violated an expectation of privacy and intimacy. Instead it is the victim that is made to feel bad for "being promiscuous".

harryf 14y ago
> A big amplifying factor in these examples seems to be a society and an upbringing that cannot to deal with sexuality in a pragmatic manner Interesting to see if society can adapt
- epochwolf 14y ago
  I have my doubts. A lot of the southern parts of the US have a lot of religious conservatives. I don't see that changing very quickly.
  - cobrausn 14y ago
    And yet this kind of 'shaming' seems to happen in non-southern, non-religious places as well. Stop looking for an easy scapegoat.
  - menacingly 14y ago
    Most of this story takes place in the deep, deep... Ohio. Heart of slavery.
  - afterburner 14y ago
    Remember the Puritans settled in the North. In any case wherever this originates, the US's puritanical tendencies (compared to continental Europe) don't seem to be exclusively a southern thing.
    - waterlesscloud 14y ago
      I'm curious, does this kind of thing happen in Europe?
      - afterburner 14y ago
        No idea, but they sure tolerate nudity and sexuality more. The original issue is more of a bullying one though...
      - waps 14y ago
        There was just last week a big upheaval in Belgium about a collection of facebook pages where pictures, including names and classes and ... of the girls involved in them were being spread on a number of facebook pages. Most of them were closed with the help of the police, and the case seems closed now. But in reality it just caused them to hide themselves a bit better, and there's one still open that doesn't hide it at all. A few weeks before there was a suicide not far from where I live which the guy involved blamed on facebook. There was a similar case in Britain. (dutch link) http://www.standaard.be/artikel/detail.aspx?artikelid=DMF20130102_00420433 http://www.standaard.be/artikel/detail.aspx?artikelid=DMF201... (english link) http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/amanda-todd-suicide-girls-mum-1379909 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/amanda-todd-suicide-... So yes, I'd say it does happen in Europe.
  - betterunix 14y ago
    I know someone in New York City whose parents nearly kicked her out of the house when they discovered she was having sex with her boyfriend. It is not just the south; there are plenty of idiots in the "liberal northeast" also.
  - sp332 14y ago
    I'm not sure why some cultures, or even sub-sub-cultures, feel like they have the right to trample the values of the rest of the world just because "it's the internet". Why should those people adapt, instead of the internet adapting to respect other values?
dfxm12 14y ago
This battle is about sex, but make no mistake, the war is about bullying. The people who are doing the "shaming" are almost certainly exploring their sexuality as well (and probably see nothing wrong with it), but that's not the point. The point is that they are bullies and they will use anything they can to help them bully others. It is just convenient in this case to use society's taboos around sex as a tool to bully this particular person. The bullies are smart. They know what buttons to push. If we lived in a society where everyone was comfortable with sex, bullying would still be going on, but it would just look a little differently.

harryf 14y ago

> A big amplifying factor in these examples seems to be a society and an upbringing that cannot to deal with sexuality in a pragmatic manner Interesting to see if society can adapt

epochwolf 14y ago
I have my doubts. A lot of the southern parts of the US have a lot of religious conservatives. I don't see that changing very quickly.
- cobrausn 14y ago
  And yet this kind of 'shaming' seems to happen in non-southern, non-religious places as well. Stop looking for an easy scapegoat.
- menacingly 14y ago
  Most of this story takes place in the deep, deep... Ohio. Heart of slavery.
- afterburner 14y ago
  Remember the Puritans settled in the North. In any case wherever this originates, the US's puritanical tendencies (compared to continental Europe) don't seem to be exclusively a southern thing.
  - waterlesscloud 14y ago
    I'm curious, does this kind of thing happen in Europe?
    - afterburner 14y ago
      No idea, but they sure tolerate nudity and sexuality more. The original issue is more of a bullying one though...
    - waps 14y ago
      There was just last week a big upheaval in Belgium about a collection of facebook pages where pictures, including names and classes and ... of the girls involved in them were being spread on a number of facebook pages. Most of them were closed with the help of the police, and the case seems closed now. But in reality it just caused them to hide themselves a bit better, and there's one still open that doesn't hide it at all. A few weeks before there was a suicide not far from where I live which the guy involved blamed on facebook. There was a similar case in Britain. (dutch link) http://www.standaard.be/artikel/detail.aspx?artikelid=DMF20130102_00420433 http://www.standaard.be/artikel/detail.aspx?artikelid=DMF201... (english link) http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/amanda-todd-suicide-girls-mum-1379909 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/amanda-todd-suicide-... So yes, I'd say it does happen in Europe.
- betterunix 14y ago
  I know someone in New York City whose parents nearly kicked her out of the house when they discovered she was having sex with her boyfriend. It is not just the south; there are plenty of idiots in the "liberal northeast" also.
- sp332 14y ago
  I'm not sure why some cultures, or even sub-sub-cultures, feel like they have the right to trample the values of the rest of the world just because "it's the internet". Why should those people adapt, instead of the internet adapting to respect other values?

dfxm12 14y ago

This battle is about sex, but make no mistake, the war is about bullying. The people who are doing the "shaming" are almost certainly exploring their sexuality as well (and probably see nothing wrong with it), but that's not the point. The point is that they are bullies and they will use anything they can to help them bully others. It is just convenient in this case to use society's taboos around sex as a tool to bully this particular person. The bullies are smart. They know what buttons to push. If we lived in a society where everyone was comfortable with sex, bullying would still be going on, but it would just look a little differently.