I agree with you about praise versus regimentation. My parents never really praised or chided me and my sister. If we did something wrong, they treated it as a

I agree with you about praise versus regimentation. My parents never really praised or chided me and my sister. If we did something wrong, they treated it as a learning opportunity. If you washed the dishes badly, it was probably because you just need to learn how to wash dishes better. If you hit somebody, it was probably because you need to learn why hitting other kids isn’t necessarily the best way to resolve an argument. So in a way I was raised to believe that praise and encouragement for their own sake are basically useless—real critique should give you a simple, concrete handhold by which to improve yourself. We also had a lot of freedom to make our own mistakes, though my parents were always there if we needed them. And that isn’t at all how school works. I wasn’t very “successful” in school, because I was depressed by the dishonesty of getting good grades without any real effort. All the way through college, I wanted challenges, but there simply weren’t any to be had. So I had to find my own and motivate myself to learn and improve, or else I would have killed myself. So, sure, I got some bad grades, failed a couple of classes, and dropped out of college. But it was just because I’m the kind of person who’s better off working on real challenges. The “real world” didn’t break me down—it saved my life.