Yeah, the thing is, after that many messages sent, done thick-skinnedly, in a big pool, with a friend who also is short, though slightly taller (5'7"), with him

Yeah, the thing is, after that many messages sent, done thick-skinnedly, in a big pool, with a friend who also is short, though slightly taller (5'7"), with him doing significantly better, and after lots of previous attempts AND lots of attempts in real life, I am at the end of my tether with the inevitable emotional pain involved. There has to come a time when you think the cost of an activity exceeds any possible benefit, and the EV of this is starting to look pretty bad.