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Staring is how we learn. Yes, it's uncomfortable for the one being stared at, but if they truly want anyone to understand their condition they'll first have to

by Zikes 14y ago

Staring is how we learn. Yes, it's uncomfortable for the one being stared at, but if they truly want anyone to understand their condition they'll first have to accept that being different means being the focus of attention.

antidoh 14y ago
Except you don't do that to people. If you want to truly understand someone's condition, first be their friend and earn the right to talk to them about it. Or jump on wikipedia. But don't stare. People are not here for your edu-porn.
- Zikes 14y ago
  Yes, staring is rude, I get that. But you have to understand, our brains are hardwired to stare. Pattern recognition is so innate that when we perceive something that breaks the expected pattern our first instinct is to keep looking at it until we understand what we're looking at. It's unconscious, and if we're lucky we'll catch ourselves doing it to a person and try to mitigate the circumstance with shifty glances elsewhere, but our eyes will always be drawn back as soon as our concentration wavers.
- Ntrails 14y ago
  When I see something unexpected (And this would apply to seeing a zebra in the middle of the road as much as the person in the article) lots of things fire at once. What did I just see? Did I really see it? What is going on here? There is a literal jolt in my brain saying "what was that" and so I am probably going to at least double take before I have even mentally engaged with what is happening and considered the feelings of the person I am looking at. Obviously this only applies to the initial moments after which I am far more likely to avoid looking at all for fear of upsetting them. It is far easier not to look than to act normally. We [should] all know staring is rude - but stringently avoiding looking is also very isolating I would imagine. NB. No I am not comparing the person to a Zebra, but simply using an example of seeing something completely unexpected.
sp332 14y ago
I think she was talking about actual staring, not just "being the focus of attention".

by Zikes 14y ago

antidoh 14y ago

Except you don't do that to people. If you want to truly understand someone's condition, first be their friend and earn the right to talk to them about it. Or jump on wikipedia. But don't stare. People are not here for your edu-porn.

Zikes 14y ago
Yes, staring is rude, I get that. But you have to understand, our brains are hardwired to stare. Pattern recognition is so innate that when we perceive something that breaks the expected pattern our first instinct is to keep looking at it until we understand what we're looking at. It's unconscious, and if we're lucky we'll catch ourselves doing it to a person and try to mitigate the circumstance with shifty glances elsewhere, but our eyes will always be drawn back as soon as our concentration wavers.
Ntrails 14y ago
When I see something unexpected (And this would apply to seeing a zebra in the middle of the road as much as the person in the article) lots of things fire at once. What did I just see? Did I really see it? What is going on here? There is a literal jolt in my brain saying "what was that" and so I am probably going to at least double take before I have even mentally engaged with what is happening and considered the feelings of the person I am looking at. Obviously this only applies to the initial moments after which I am far more likely to avoid looking at all for fear of upsetting them. It is far easier not to look than to act normally. We [should] all know staring is rude - but stringently avoiding looking is also very isolating I would imagine. NB. No I am not comparing the person to a Zebra, but simply using an example of seeing something completely unexpected.

sp332 14y ago

I think she was talking about actual staring, not just "being the focus of attention".