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I'm not a fan of "New Years Resolutions". IMHO it's a false point in time to force a process you won't follow through on anyway because the driving factor is t

by kator 14y ago

I'm not a fan of "New Years Resolutions". IMHO it's a false point in time to force a process you won't follow through on anyway because the driving factor is the random reality that day on the calendar happened to pass by that we've assigned importance to (i.e. New Year). That said I believe in constant, on-going goals analysis and review. On a daily basis I review my goals for the day. On a semi-random basis I review my goals for other random-lengths of time. Usually triggered by passing through or letting go of another goal on my roadmap. Meanwhile on a fairly regular basis I review my personal "core goals" and see if my current progress and goals are in alignment. If they're not I either rework my core goals or rework my "working" goals to align. Sometimes I do this on the subway to work and other times on a beach while on vacation. I think setting goals at the beginning of the year really has no impact on the reality of your life. That said it's not a bad idea to look at your "core" goals. Rather then say "I'll loose 25 lbs this year" say "I want to be healthy for the rest of my life". And then identify some short, mid and long term goals to obtain that overall "core goal". Often if I find myself overwhelmed by life I will stop and review my "core goals" and make sure everything is in alignment with those. Or I change them to meet what I really want in my life "now". When I was younger I had very different "core goals" then I do now and I'm comfortable that sometime in the next 0 to 24 months those might change as I review what is meaningful and rewarding to me in my life. As an example my primary goal is to "Live my life in my passion". This has actually been true for most of my life starting sometime while I was in high school. Clearly my "passion" has changed over time but the "core goal" remains the same and drives many of my decisions in my life. That said some other "core goals" of mine have changed though my life as I've progressed through various phases and transitions in my life. Your "core goals" when you have young children are most likely very different then when they've all moved out and are living their own lives. :-) Be flexible, be alert and true to yourself, find your "core goals" and then develop your short, mid and long-term goals driven from those. And as always, be willing to change them as you and your life changes.

kolinko 14y ago
How do you know the problem is with resolutions/goals and not with your process of setting them? The way I see it, most people have a bad process of setting their goals. It causes them to always pick the same ones (e.g. lose weight, stop smoking, change a job), and never follow through (e.g. because they always approach the goals using the same methods, like "I will eat less", or "I will have a strong will this time"). I've been setting my goals according to one of Tony Robbins' workshops for the past 9 years now, and it's amazing what it helped me to accomplish. In short, my process is: - split it to material goals, self-devel goals & career goals - for each section, brainstorm by writing down dosens of goals I want to accomplish in my life - then for each brainstormed goal I write down whether I want to achieve it by 1 year, 2, 5 or 20. - out of 1 year goals I choose three of each kind (9 total). The above causes me to choose things that are really important, not just "top of the mind" - I surprised myself quite often by discovering that some things I considered could wait. Then, for each of the 9 goals I write down: - why do I want to accomplish it - the first step, something I can do instantly. The first step quite often propels me towards achieving the goal, and the reason is a nice reminder of why I wanted to achieve it. So far, the track record was quite nice. Out of 9 goals I accomplish 3-4 in any given year, but it's still a lot. The rest are quite often accomplished a year-two later, thanks to the path I initiated on the first year. Or abandoned when I discover that the reason is no longer relevant. Finally, I don't think it's about New Year's. It's about doing an occasional, annual, overview of where you're going and what you accomplished. As much as it's important to constantly track your progress, you cannot ask yourself "where am I going", "what do I want from life" every day or every week. Those are the things one should ask & modify only once in a while. (edit: I built an iOS app for this process. I hope nobody minds the plug: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goal-setting-workshop-+-simple/id408425741?mt=8 http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goal-setting-workshop-+-simpl... . I'd give away free codes here, but don't have any left of this version. )
- kator 14y ago
  > How do you know the problem is with resolutions/goals and not with your process of setting them? I did not go into depth about my process but the issue I have is with this concept of "once a year I will sit down and make of list of things I will try and do" and meanwhile it never gets done. Mainly as you have outlined because you lack real understanding of the underlying motivations and instead it ends up being the singular fact that it's 12/31/YYYY. That said I did say: Short, mid, long.. Long doesn't mean 1 yr in my mind. :) > ...you cannot ask yourself "where am I going", "what do I want from life" every day or every week.. Why not rephrase that "Am I doing what I want with my life." and yes I can ask myself that every single day of the week, because I can compare it to my "core goals" (the 9 you talk about, I keep 4 but if 9 works for you that's fine). The answer should be yes against your "core goals" if not either your goals have shifted and you didn't notice or you've shifted off the path and didn't notice. If you measure only once a year and set goals once a year you're going to have a very random life experience. :-) If you measure often and make small course corrections often you'll have a more directed experience. All that said they're just goals and reality has a tendency to happen (S* happens as they say).

by kator 14y ago

kolinko 14y ago

How do you know the problem is with resolutions/goals and not with your process of setting them? The way I see it, most people have a bad process of setting their goals. It causes them to always pick the same ones (e.g. lose weight, stop smoking, change a job), and never follow through (e.g. because they always approach the goals using the same methods, like "I will eat less", or "I will have a strong will this time"). I've been setting my goals according to one of Tony Robbins' workshops for the past 9 years now, and it's amazing what it helped me to accomplish. In short, my process is: - split it to material goals, self-devel goals & career goals - for each section, brainstorm by writing down dosens of goals I want to accomplish in my life - then for each brainstormed goal I write down whether I want to achieve it by 1 year, 2, 5 or 20. - out of 1 year goals I choose three of each kind (9 total). The above causes me to choose things that are really important, not just "top of the mind" - I surprised myself quite often by discovering that some things I considered could wait. Then, for each of the 9 goals I write down: - why do I want to accomplish it - the first step, something I can do instantly. The first step quite often propels me towards achieving the goal, and the reason is a nice reminder of why I wanted to achieve it. So far, the track record was quite nice. Out of 9 goals I accomplish 3-4 in any given year, but it's still a lot. The rest are quite often accomplished a year-two later, thanks to the path I initiated on the first year. Or abandoned when I discover that the reason is no longer relevant. Finally, I don't think it's about New Year's. It's about doing an occasional, annual, overview of where you're going and what you accomplished. As much as it's important to constantly track your progress, you cannot ask yourself "where am I going", "what do I want from life" every day or every week. Those are the things one should ask & modify only once in a while. (edit: I built an iOS app for this process. I hope nobody minds the plug: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goal-setting-workshop-+-simple/id408425741?mt=8 http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goal-setting-workshop-+-simpl... . I'd give away free codes here, but don't have any left of this version. )

kator 14y ago
> How do you know the problem is with resolutions/goals and not with your process of setting them? I did not go into depth about my process but the issue I have is with this concept of "once a year I will sit down and make of list of things I will try and do" and meanwhile it never gets done. Mainly as you have outlined because you lack real understanding of the underlying motivations and instead it ends up being the singular fact that it's 12/31/YYYY. That said I did say: Short, mid, long.. Long doesn't mean 1 yr in my mind. :) > ...you cannot ask yourself "where am I going", "what do I want from life" every day or every week.. Why not rephrase that "Am I doing what I want with my life." and yes I can ask myself that every single day of the week, because I can compare it to my "core goals" (the 9 you talk about, I keep 4 but if 9 works for you that's fine). The answer should be yes against your "core goals" if not either your goals have shifted and you didn't notice or you've shifted off the path and didn't notice. If you measure only once a year and set goals once a year you're going to have a very random life experience. :-) If you measure often and make small course corrections often you'll have a more directed experience. All that said they're just goals and reality has a tendency to happen (S* happens as they say).