3 ms·

Is it some time yet? :)

patio11 14y ago
Oh alright. Boss: "So are you seeing anyone?" Me: "Ahh, erm, I appreciate your desire to look out for me boss. Us Americans are a little quirky with regards to finding young ladies -- we typically look for ourselves rather than getting formally set up by family or coworkers. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment but plan on finding her myself, so..." Boss: "Oh its not just a cultural thing. If you don't have a wife, you'll go back to America to find one, and then you'll quit the company. We can't have that now can we." Me: "Erm, I appreciate the concern, but maybe we can meet at the midd..." Boss: "Yeah yeah, whatever." 3 weeks pass. Scene is a Welcome To The Company party for myself and two other new employees. Boss: "Patrick, I've got someone to introduce you to. This is K-san, who sits two rows over." K-san is a young lady, about my age. Me: "Pleased to meet you, K-san." K-san: "Please to meet you, Patrick." The following is word-for-word translated from Japanese and is not exaggerated in the slightest. Boss: "Patrick graduated from a good school in America, is a bright engineer, and has a solid future with the company. How about an international marriage?" shocked silence K-san: "I have absolutely no interest in that." Now in a just world I'd be able to report that this was a little awkward but we can all laugh about it 5 years later, but a just world would have no Japanese megacorps in it. In the world we actually live in, K-san was given grief by many co-workers. (e.g. "K-san, do you want to come out to lunch, or do you have absolutely no interest in that?") My dimestore psychoanalysis is that a) she shot down the boss in "too brusque of a fashion" compared to socially optimal ways to decline things like "giggles Oh he's far too handsome for me." (or any of the 50,000 ways you could say "Yes" and mean "No") and at least in part because b) some people in my company genuinely believe, to some degree, that K-san should not have said no. If you're interested in gender relations in Japan, many scholarly books have been written on the subject.
- recuter 14y ago
  Patrick, I have been reading your stuff for some time now and it is indeed interesting and useful and worth a lot of money to loads of people I'm sure. But goddamn man, for the greater good, forget this silly software racket and put out a comic book. Perhaps a live action television show, maybe a movie. Your anecdotes are always my favorite part. :)
  - phreanix 14y ago
    ^what he said. Seriously, I wish you had the time for something like that.
- alinajaf 14y ago
  > K-san: "I have absolutely no interest in that." If this is the Japanese I think it is, I would have had difficulty not laughing out loud.
  - patio11 14y ago
    「。。。国際結婚はどう？」「まったく興味ありません。」 , but I trust my recollection of her response less than of his, since my brain was still reeling.
    - minikomi 14y ago
      Oh man.. That is a cold, cold way to say no. Great story!
- Joe_Knapp 14y ago
  Its not just Japan. Most of Asia. but I must admit that the best book I ever read explaining this Asian custom of saying yes when you need no, was Japanese. Asia is extremely complex culture compared to America.

Oh alright. Boss: "So are you seeing anyone?" Me: "Ahh, erm, I appreciate your desire to look out for me boss. Us Americans are a little quirky with regards to finding young ladies -- we typically look for ourselves rather than getting formally set up by family or coworkers. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment but plan on finding her myself, so..." Boss: "Oh its not just a cultural thing. If you don't have a wife, you'll go back to America to find one, and then you'll quit the company. We can't have that now can we." Me: "Erm, I appreciate the concern, but maybe we can meet at the midd..." Boss: "Yeah yeah, whatever." 3 weeks pass. Scene is a Welcome To The Company party for myself and two other new employees. Boss: "Patrick, I've got someone to introduce you to. This is K-san, who sits two rows over." K-san is a young lady, about my age. Me: "Pleased to meet you, K-san." K-san: "Please to meet you, Patrick." The following is word-for-word translated from Japanese and is not exaggerated in the slightest. Boss: "Patrick graduated from a good school in America, is a bright engineer, and has a solid future with the company. How about an international marriage?" shocked silence K-san: "I have absolutely no interest in that." Now in a just world I'd be able to report that this was a little awkward but we can all laugh about it 5 years later, but a just world would have no Japanese megacorps in it. In the world we actually live in, K-san was given grief by many co-workers. (e.g. "K-san, do you want to come out to lunch, or do you have absolutely no interest in that?") My dimestore psychoanalysis is that a) she shot down the boss in "too brusque of a fashion" compared to socially optimal ways to decline things like "giggles Oh he's far too handsome for me." (or any of the 50,000 ways you could say "Yes" and mean "No") and at least in part because b) some people in my company genuinely believe, to some degree, that K-san should not have said no. If you're interested in gender relations in Japan, many scholarly books have been written on the subject.

recuter 14y ago
Patrick, I have been reading your stuff for some time now and it is indeed interesting and useful and worth a lot of money to loads of people I'm sure. But goddamn man, for the greater good, forget this silly software racket and put out a comic book. Perhaps a live action television show, maybe a movie. Your anecdotes are always my favorite part. :)
- phreanix 14y ago
  ^what he said. Seriously, I wish you had the time for something like that.
alinajaf 14y ago
> K-san: "I have absolutely no interest in that." If this is the Japanese I think it is, I would have had difficulty not laughing out loud.
- patio11 14y ago
  「。。。国際結婚はどう？」「まったく興味ありません。」 , but I trust my recollection of her response less than of his, since my brain was still reeling.
  - minikomi 14y ago
    Oh man.. That is a cold, cold way to say no. Great story!
Joe_Knapp 14y ago
Its not just Japan. Most of Asia. but I must admit that the best book I ever read explaining this Asian custom of saying yes when you need no, was Japanese. Asia is extremely complex culture compared to America.