I liked this a lot. I have also struggled with this, and I feel compelled to suggest my own angle: this is often caused by issues that are not (just) profession

I liked this a lot. I have also struggled with this, and I feel compelled to suggest my own angle: this is often caused by issues that are not (just) professional skill gaps, though closing those gaps can help resolve it. Avoiding status updates, needing to “prove yourself,” things like these, were all products of a deeper lack of trust for me. TFA alludes to this with “imposter syndrome”. I was so used to this that it took a long time to figure out. What helped me (and I wouldn’t say I’m better, but better than I was) was a few ideas: 1. Trust is equal parts competence and communication. Trust is lost when you expected X and didn’t get it, which means half the problem is not getting it and the other half is expecting it in the first place. 2. So trust requires clear communication, and clear communication requires trust in the other direction. At a totally dysfunctional company, all of engineering doesn’t trust leadership, so they're not honest with leadership, and soon enough leadership doesn't trust engineering, if that hasn’t happened already. So lack of trust in one direction breaks down trust in the other direction. 3. If you don't feel comfortable saying something that's true (anything! “I got nothing done yesterday because I still don’t really understand the problem I’m solving,” or whatever kind of thing you’re afraid to say), it means you don't trust whoever you're talking to. This is a problem—see #2. In the context of TFA, this is the problem that leads to you skipping status updates or going off and building without prior discussion. The solution is building your own trust, which can actually be hard to do and requires some self-knowledge (e.g. did you have a bad experience at a prior job? Are you dispositionally a nervous person? Did your boss/leadership break your trust in some way already—large or small?). This is IMO what TFA is really about, and the strategy it suggests is a great one if a bit of positive feedback and encouragement is what helps you extend trust (which is fine! It's worth knowing that about yourself) and grunt work earns you that feedback (which it might, though you can't control what other people do—it may also help to communicate that you're looking for that, e.g. "I want to see what kind of contributions are celebrated here, and I thought these might be." A small trust exercise in the context of the larger one.) It might be something else. Off the top of my head: will work respect my needs if a life event temporarily interferes with my work? If I'm missing context on a project, will I be given help or hostility? Am I being given a clear explanation of the expectations for the role? (Finally, I think it's worth mentioning the version of this where your boss or leadership isn't building trust in you, and IMO it looks like you stuck in a marginal role and not given a path to larger ones, even though you're clear that you want them. Sometimes you can convince them to trust you, but you can't control what other people do. In particular, if you're building something without prior discussion, consider that a lack of trust from the company to you is now creating a lack of trust from you to the company. Maybe it'll be fixed, but no guarantees.)