"I once knocked a bunch of bananas off a tall man's head. His name is Ash and his leg is like teak. Is he a tree?" "What? Don't be silly. For one thing, trees

"I once knocked a bunch of bananas off a tall man's head. His name is Ash and his leg is like teak. Is he a tree?" "What? Don't be silly. For one thing, trees have moss." "OK he's grown moss. He's a tree now right? Right??" "I doubt it, for I see nothing but wishful thinking to suggest that simulating the appearance of tree characteristics is part of a path to becoming a tree. And that's not actually indistinguishable from moss anyway, is it?" "Urgh, classic goalpost shifting!"