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It's difficult to turn your phone off if you have a spouse or children or other dependents who you can't drop communication with for hours at a time. But it's h

It's difficult to turn your phone off if you have a spouse or children or other dependents who you can't drop communication with for hours at a time. But it's helpful to strip it down to the essentials so it doesn't double as an entertainment device.

kibwen 6d ago
The need to be instantly reachable at a moment's notice is a modern anxiety that we successfully lived without until the mass penetration of cell phones 20 years ago. Your spouse and children will manage without being able to text you for a few hours, just like spouses and children did for the first 100,000 years of humans history.
- andrepd 6d ago
  That's ridiculous. We have managed without electricity or antibiotics for 100,000 years too. Are you keen on reading by candlelight or dying of preventable infections? Instant messaging and calling is extremely valuable. Algorithmic social media is extremely noxious. Unfortunately, they both live on the same device.
  - kibwen 6d ago
    Comparing smartphones to antibiotics is somewhat ironic given that smartphone addiction is a disease, not a cure to one. There is no law of the universe that says that technology cannot create ills where previously there were none. I assure you that you are allowed to turn your phone off for hours, days, weeks, forever if you so choose, and your life may be better for it.
    - wat10000 6d ago
      That’s fine, but the argument needs to be something better than “humanity did without it and survived as a species.”
    - andrepd 5d ago
      Did you read why I wrote? It appears you completely ignored it and are just talking past me... Yes I goddamn know "technology can create ills where previously there were none", that's why I called algorithmic social media a catastrophe.... Swear to god
  - ianm218 6d ago
    A more apt comparison is would you be OK reading by candle light sometimes for a few hours? I would be, it’s perfectly fine to read for a few hours by a bright candle.
    - andrepd 5d ago
      I would prefer to give up algorithmic social media for 24h/day (massive negative impact) than to give up calls and texts with my friends and family for a few hours (no negative impact).
  - pessimizer 6d ago
    > Instant messaging and calling is extremely valuable. They, and I, are disagreeing with you. Instant messaging and calling are nice-to-have at best, and a huge burden at worst. They teach an extreme codependency that has little benefit, and causes a lot of anxiety. They're convenient when somebody needs to go to the hospital, needs to get picked up, you can't find somebody in a museum, you're at the store and somebody at home might need something. You are rarely using it for this. You're mostly wittering on and on about nonsense and not giving each other any room. When others go silent or don't answer quickly enough you get nervous about what they think about you, or if they are in danger. When others are interrogating you about things that make you uncomfortable, you feel like you have to answer now or you're making a statement with your silence. Most of the useful stuff could be moved to a house phone (which doesn't exist anymore) and a payphone (which doesn't exist anymore.) For the people farther away, writing a letter was better. You don't need to be on the back of somebody 1000 miles away. There are too many of them, and companies and governments slip in. It's not healthy and it's not safe.
    - andrepd 5d ago
      Please don't project on me. Doomsrolling irrelevant junk and polluting one's mind might possibly be what the majority of smartphone use is for. Hence my distinguishing that from "calling and texting". I can text my wife when I leave home telling her to meet in the park. I can call for help in an emergency. I can talk to my family, back in my home country, whenever I want and wherever I am. My grandparents emigrated when "seeing your family" meant a month's journey by sea, so I'm quite sensitive to this. It's a miracle we take for granted.
  - devin 6d ago
    This is a completely laughable comparison.
devin 6d ago
To be sure, you absolutely can do this. I did it all the time as a kid. Nothing bad happened from being out of constant communication for hours.
yipinwong 6d ago
You are focusing on things that never happened or never will happen. Phone is not the only communication you need for your kids or spouse.
downut 6d ago
It is in actual fact not difficult to "drop communication with for hours at a time". This was the human norm for millenia, up to a decade or so ago. And given the toxic side effects of all this communication it's probably going to have to be worked out again. We raised a child with the principle that "No News is Good News". She turned out great! And she lives that way still. That constant level of screen stimulation is strictly not necessary for family happiness, and I think you all who think so have not really internalized what it means for a child to learn responsibility. See also free-range kids, and the social insanity that causes kids/parents to get arrested for eg playing in a park alone. There's a bunch of mental illness out there, and the screens are big reason why. Oh right. My beautiful daughter reads books constantly. Weird that, huh.
- hdgvhicv 5d ago
  20 years ago I would be reachable at work on my desk phone. I’d be reachable at home on the landline. I’d be reachable at the hotel via reception. The only place that remains is the hotel. If I were out and about and wanted to reach home or the office I could drop a coin in a payphone. That’s not possible now. That’s before you factor in changing societal expectations on reachability. When it comes to kids, they would be able to phone home as they remember their home number and have some money or worse case could reverse charges from a payphone. That’s not possible today.

kibwen 6d ago

The need to be instantly reachable at a moment's notice is a modern anxiety that we successfully lived without until the mass penetration of cell phones 20 years ago. Your spouse and children will manage without being able to text you for a few hours, just like spouses and children did for the first 100,000 years of humans history.

andrepd 6d ago
That's ridiculous. We have managed without electricity or antibiotics for 100,000 years too. Are you keen on reading by candlelight or dying of preventable infections? Instant messaging and calling is extremely valuable. Algorithmic social media is extremely noxious. Unfortunately, they both live on the same device.
- kibwen 6d ago
  Comparing smartphones to antibiotics is somewhat ironic given that smartphone addiction is a disease, not a cure to one. There is no law of the universe that says that technology cannot create ills where previously there were none. I assure you that you are allowed to turn your phone off for hours, days, weeks, forever if you so choose, and your life may be better for it.
  - wat10000 6d ago
    That’s fine, but the argument needs to be something better than “humanity did without it and survived as a species.”
  - andrepd 5d ago
    Did you read why I wrote? It appears you completely ignored it and are just talking past me... Yes I goddamn know "technology can create ills where previously there were none", that's why I called algorithmic social media a catastrophe.... Swear to god
- ianm218 6d ago
  A more apt comparison is would you be OK reading by candle light sometimes for a few hours? I would be, it’s perfectly fine to read for a few hours by a bright candle.
  - andrepd 5d ago
    I would prefer to give up algorithmic social media for 24h/day (massive negative impact) than to give up calls and texts with my friends and family for a few hours (no negative impact).
- pessimizer 6d ago
  > Instant messaging and calling is extremely valuable. They, and I, are disagreeing with you. Instant messaging and calling are nice-to-have at best, and a huge burden at worst. They teach an extreme codependency that has little benefit, and causes a lot of anxiety. They're convenient when somebody needs to go to the hospital, needs to get picked up, you can't find somebody in a museum, you're at the store and somebody at home might need something. You are rarely using it for this. You're mostly wittering on and on about nonsense and not giving each other any room. When others go silent or don't answer quickly enough you get nervous about what they think about you, or if they are in danger. When others are interrogating you about things that make you uncomfortable, you feel like you have to answer now or you're making a statement with your silence. Most of the useful stuff could be moved to a house phone (which doesn't exist anymore) and a payphone (which doesn't exist anymore.) For the people farther away, writing a letter was better. You don't need to be on the back of somebody 1000 miles away. There are too many of them, and companies and governments slip in. It's not healthy and it's not safe.
  - andrepd 5d ago
    Please don't project on me. Doomsrolling irrelevant junk and polluting one's mind might possibly be what the majority of smartphone use is for. Hence my distinguishing that from "calling and texting". I can text my wife when I leave home telling her to meet in the park. I can call for help in an emergency. I can talk to my family, back in my home country, whenever I want and wherever I am. My grandparents emigrated when "seeing your family" meant a month's journey by sea, so I'm quite sensitive to this. It's a miracle we take for granted.
- devin 6d ago
  This is a completely laughable comparison.

devin 6d ago

To be sure, you absolutely can do this. I did it all the time as a kid. Nothing bad happened from being out of constant communication for hours.

yipinwong 6d ago

You are focusing on things that never happened or never will happen. Phone is not the only communication you need for your kids or spouse.

downut 6d ago

It is in actual fact not difficult to "drop communication with for hours at a time". This was the human norm for millenia, up to a decade or so ago. And given the toxic side effects of all this communication it's probably going to have to be worked out again. We raised a child with the principle that "No News is Good News". She turned out great! And she lives that way still. That constant level of screen stimulation is strictly not necessary for family happiness, and I think you all who think so have not really internalized what it means for a child to learn responsibility. See also free-range kids, and the social insanity that causes kids/parents to get arrested for eg playing in a park alone. There's a bunch of mental illness out there, and the screens are big reason why. Oh right. My beautiful daughter reads books constantly. Weird that, huh.

hdgvhicv 5d ago
20 years ago I would be reachable at work on my desk phone. I’d be reachable at home on the landline. I’d be reachable at the hotel via reception. The only place that remains is the hotel. If I were out and about and wanted to reach home or the office I could drop a coin in a payphone. That’s not possible now. That’s before you factor in changing societal expectations on reachability. When it comes to kids, they would be able to phone home as they remember their home number and have some money or worse case could reverse charges from a payphone. That’s not possible today.