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I have 2 kids in college and I'm trying to sell my house. So I've decluttered to make the house presentable and I'm waiting for my kids to graduate and get thei

I have 2 kids in college and I'm trying to sell my house. So I've decluttered to make the house presentable and I'm waiting for my kids to graduate and get their own places so I can give them their crap back. Storage unit makes sense for me. But this is likely to last only 2-4 years and then I'll have downsized enough.

zeroonetwothree 16d ago
Are you sure they even will want it back? Might be better to just donate it all now and save the money.
- w0m 16d ago
  > Are you sure they even will want it back? 75 y/o MIL is still fighting my wife to take her middle/highschool 'stuff' back to this day. She won't throw it out though.
  - gboss 16d ago
    Your wife should just pick it up and throw it out then to relieve her mother of the burden.
    - coldpie 16d ago
      Yeah. My mom hung onto my old school stuff and finally wanted to get rid of it when she moved. I took it graciously with thanks, and then tossed it in the trash when I got home.
    - w0m 12d ago
      I'd feel guilty, but you're likely correct.
- SubmarineClub 16d ago
  If my parents had done that I would have been pissed. They just recently cleared out the attic and unloaded my childhood stuff on me, and I gladly took it all back.
  - neutronicus 16d ago
    They gave away my Charizard ;_;
  - diskzero 16d ago
    This must be a generational issue. My kids took “their” things with them when they became autonomous adults. As parents, we raised our children that they would move out and establish their own identities and futures. We never created any expectation that their childhood home would serve as a storage facility, extended stay facility or even exist. We of course offer help and support when needed. I know this is in conflict with a lot of modern parenting for many reasons. Our primary goal was to create independent, autonomous, fully functional adults capable of funding their own lives and determining their own future.
    - SubmarineClub 16d ago
      Kind of hard to take my stuff when I was attending college and then working clear on the other side of the country. Other than renting a U-Haul and driving 2,800 miles, there weren’t many options. Which I even suggested, to which my parents insisted they were happy to hang on to the stuff until it was easier to do the handover. >never created any expectation that their childhood home would serve…facility, extended stay facility or even exist. Sounds like a pretty sad mindset to me. Between me and your kids, I wonder which are happier to visit their parents?
      - deleted 16d ago
        [deleted]
      - diskzero 16d ago
        I somewhat expected my post would generate this type of attack and then lead to my parenting style is better than years, my kids are more successful than yours, my kids are happier to visit us than you, ad nauseam. Parenting is hard and there are multiple approaches that lead to successful outcomes. Your approach worked and I am happy for you. Congratulations on your successful approach.
- bluGill 16d ago
  Probably not - but it isn't his decision, and the kids are not yet in a place in life where they can make the decision. Until the kids figure out where their life will take them they can't know. I have some heirlooms that I'm really glad to have now, but when I was in college living in dorms I wouldn't have had space for them. You have no clue what somebody else finds important and will throw the wrong things.
- BeetleB 16d ago
  I definitely would have. I'd understand if they really needed to get rid of it, but the conversation must be had!
- jjav 15d ago
  > Are you sure they even will want it back? Might be better to just donate it all now and save the money. At 20-something after college, no, they probably don't want it. When they are 40 or 50, they will desperately want it back.
diskzero 16d ago
My parents gave me my “crap” back and it went straight into the trash. When my kids moved out, their “crap” went to Goodwill or the trash.
- SubmarineClub 16d ago
  On the other hand, I’m very glad my parents hung on to my stuff until I could take it back. I see no reason to throw it out.
  - PaulHoule 16d ago
    My mom kept most of my books but threw out a rare box of Creative Computing magazines that all the world’s libraries wrongly decided were ephemeral crap.
- bluGill 16d ago
  Going to college should not be considered moving out. They have moved out only after they have been done with college for at least a year. Until then they are trying to figure out life. Home is still your house, they are just not living there. Once they are out of college and on their own though they need to figure out what to do about their stuff.
  - diskzero 16d ago
    This is a difference in parenting approaches. For our kids, going to college, or in one case the military and another no college, was moving out. You have your approach, we had ours. They were perfectly capable and successful in figuring out their lives without flying back to the nest every summer.
    - trinix912 16d ago
      Great that you and your kids had this privilege. A lot of college grads these days struggle to get a job, let alone one that pays enough to rent their own place not one shared with roommates. Honestly, your replies sound very condescending and tone-deaf.

zeroonetwothree 16d ago

Are you sure they even will want it back? Might be better to just donate it all now and save the money.

w0m 16d ago
> Are you sure they even will want it back? 75 y/o MIL is still fighting my wife to take her middle/highschool 'stuff' back to this day. She won't throw it out though.
- gboss 16d ago
  Your wife should just pick it up and throw it out then to relieve her mother of the burden.
  - coldpie 16d ago
    Yeah. My mom hung onto my old school stuff and finally wanted to get rid of it when she moved. I took it graciously with thanks, and then tossed it in the trash when I got home.
  - w0m 12d ago
    I'd feel guilty, but you're likely correct.
SubmarineClub 16d ago
If my parents had done that I would have been pissed. They just recently cleared out the attic and unloaded my childhood stuff on me, and I gladly took it all back.
- neutronicus 16d ago
  They gave away my Charizard ;_;
- diskzero 16d ago
  This must be a generational issue. My kids took “their” things with them when they became autonomous adults. As parents, we raised our children that they would move out and establish their own identities and futures. We never created any expectation that their childhood home would serve as a storage facility, extended stay facility or even exist. We of course offer help and support when needed. I know this is in conflict with a lot of modern parenting for many reasons. Our primary goal was to create independent, autonomous, fully functional adults capable of funding their own lives and determining their own future.
  - SubmarineClub 16d ago
    Kind of hard to take my stuff when I was attending college and then working clear on the other side of the country. Other than renting a U-Haul and driving 2,800 miles, there weren’t many options. Which I even suggested, to which my parents insisted they were happy to hang on to the stuff until it was easier to do the handover. >never created any expectation that their childhood home would serve…facility, extended stay facility or even exist. Sounds like a pretty sad mindset to me. Between me and your kids, I wonder which are happier to visit their parents?
    - deleted 16d ago
      [deleted]
    - diskzero 16d ago
      I somewhat expected my post would generate this type of attack and then lead to my parenting style is better than years, my kids are more successful than yours, my kids are happier to visit us than you, ad nauseam. Parenting is hard and there are multiple approaches that lead to successful outcomes. Your approach worked and I am happy for you. Congratulations on your successful approach.
bluGill 16d ago
Probably not - but it isn't his decision, and the kids are not yet in a place in life where they can make the decision. Until the kids figure out where their life will take them they can't know. I have some heirlooms that I'm really glad to have now, but when I was in college living in dorms I wouldn't have had space for them. You have no clue what somebody else finds important and will throw the wrong things.
BeetleB 16d ago
I definitely would have. I'd understand if they really needed to get rid of it, but the conversation must be had!
jjav 15d ago
> Are you sure they even will want it back? Might be better to just donate it all now and save the money. At 20-something after college, no, they probably don't want it. When they are 40 or 50, they will desperately want it back.

diskzero 16d ago

My parents gave me my “crap” back and it went straight into the trash. When my kids moved out, their “crap” went to Goodwill or the trash.

SubmarineClub 16d ago
On the other hand, I’m very glad my parents hung on to my stuff until I could take it back. I see no reason to throw it out.
- PaulHoule 16d ago
  My mom kept most of my books but threw out a rare box of Creative Computing magazines that all the world’s libraries wrongly decided were ephemeral crap.
bluGill 16d ago
Going to college should not be considered moving out. They have moved out only after they have been done with college for at least a year. Until then they are trying to figure out life. Home is still your house, they are just not living there. Once they are out of college and on their own though they need to figure out what to do about their stuff.
- diskzero 16d ago
  This is a difference in parenting approaches. For our kids, going to college, or in one case the military and another no college, was moving out. You have your approach, we had ours. They were perfectly capable and successful in figuring out their lives without flying back to the nest every summer.
  - trinix912 16d ago
    Great that you and your kids had this privilege. A lot of college grads these days struggle to get a job, let alone one that pays enough to rent their own place not one shared with roommates. Honestly, your replies sound very condescending and tone-deaf.