7 ms·

Follow This Rule — If You Want To Be Popular (1922)

113 points by mikecane 14y ago

cvursache 14y ago
A great must-read on the same idea - with lots of examples from very different social situations - is the popular book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc...) . It's only 300 pages long, but there are a lot of great principles in it that one can follow.
- xsmasher 14y ago
  I second this recommendation, with an aside: the title was an incredible turn-off to me, but I read it anyway and it is worth its weight. It is not lessons on "How to be False and Unctuous" or "How to Abuse the Kindness of Others," which were the original images that the title evoked from me.
  - jw_ 14y ago
    I have to agree - I found the title monumentally off-putting as well (and wound up reading it on the Kindle to avoid having the book title displayed to my fellow train passengers, how sad!) but I was glad that I read it. The book seems like it'd be "your guide to becoming a smarmy dick in 30 days!" but it really stresses sincerity and other various laudable goals. A lot of the book is obvious in hindsight but it's pretty well written and has become a classic for good reason.
- Karunamon 14y ago
  Went looking for it and found a copy on the Internet Archive: http://archive.org/details/BooksOfArslanhowToWinFriendsAndInfluencePeople http://archive.org/details/BooksOfArslanhowToWinFriendsAndIn...
  - packetslave 14y ago
    Hmm, "Copyright 1981". Pretty sure that's not a legitimately freely-available copy.
    - snowwindwaves 14y ago
      it was originally published in the thirties.
RyanZAG 14y ago
As with the other article from 1922 [1], this article is just so much better written and conveys a far more widely useful point than the articles you see in the media today. Feels a bit like journalism in general has gone backwards enormously. I think this because journalism is now ranked by 'page views', when in 1922, journalism was ranked by professional editors. For journalism, page views = ad views = revenue, so optimizing for anything else is folly. A short article with eye catching headlines and sensationalism is always going to outdo a great article like the OP. Any way to reverse this trend? Even pay-for journalism today is still plagued by 'page views', as no follow up article is going to be written if the views are low. Back in 1922, nobody really knew the page views and they could only be badly estimated with a reader's survey. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4969041 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4969041 EDIT: I've actually changed my mind - journalism of this standard is definitely alive and well, you just have to look to lesser known bloggers now instead of big media. This is probably the true death-knell of big media if I ever saw it - loss of quality content. I present the following blog post from this year as evidence: http://www.lindsredding.com/2012/03/11/a-overdue-lesson-in-perspective/ http://www.lindsredding.com/2012/03/11/a-overdue-lesson-in-p... The way writing styles have changed in general in 100 years is also interesting!
- huherto 14y ago
  And this article survived from 1922. So it is probably good. Selection bias?
  - testing12341234 14y ago
    Also, these are two articles hand picked from one year from all sources that printed news that year. That's a very small sample size to extrapolate from.
    - edanm 14y ago
      I think you and the GP were making the same (valid) point.
- jpdoctor 14y ago
wallflower 14y ago
Politics aside, I'm fascinated by the personal recollections of people who have met Bill Clinton [1]. Bill Clinton is legendary for making people who shake his hand feel like they are the most important person in the room. A book I read (can't remember the title) said something that has stuck with me. Paraphrased: "Everyone can be as charismatic as Bill Clinton. You do it on a job interview or on a first date. The secret is... he does it all the time" "Clinton had this huge charisma. He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a blue checked shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His presence made everyone around him so comfortable. He had this extraordinary ability to make us feel very special. He took time out to speak to each one of us — asking about our family, where we were raised and educated, what were the things in our life that we hold important." [2] [1] http://www.bing.com/search?q=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charisma&go=&qs=n&form=QBRE&pq=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charisma&sc=0-0&sp=-1&sk= http://www.bing.com/search?q=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charis... [2] http://www.telegraphindia.com/1120507/jsp/calcutta/story_15459603.jsp http://www.telegraphindia.com/1120507/jsp/calcutta/story_154...
- stfu 14y ago
  Ironically similar stuff has been said about George W. Bush: http://www.quora.com/George-W-Bush/What-is-George-W-Bush-really-like-in-one-on-one-conversation http://www.quora.com/George-W-Bush/What-is-George-W-Bush-rea... But I guess in today's world it is unlikely to take a high office that is based on popularity by not having a winning personality - even so the facets might become distorted through media.
- vijayr 14y ago
  Is it this one? http://www.amazon.com/Never-Eat-Alone-Secrets-Relationship/dp/0385512058 http://www.amazon.com/Never-Eat-Alone-Secrets-Relationship/d...
um304 14y ago
Excellent read, thanks for sharing!
adidash 14y ago
Brilliant read with many takeaways! Mike - Thanks for sharing!
personlurking 14y ago
If anyone is wondering about the use of "to-day" (and, as a bonus, "to-morrow"), the following are from Etymonline. "To-day" O.E. todæge, to dæge "on (the) day," from to "at, on" + dæge, dative of dæg "day". Generally written as two words until 16c., after which it usually was written to-day until early 20c. "To-morrow" late 13c., to morewe, from O.E. to morgenne "on (the) morrow," from to "at, on" + morgenne, dative of morgen "morning". Written as two words until 16c., then as to-morrow until early 20c. ... The latter reminds me of Spanish where they say "mañana por la mañana" (lit. tomorrow during the morning) and Portuguese where they say "amanhã da manhã" (lit. tomorrow of the morning).
mrxd 14y ago
Sometimes I meet people who follow this advice, and it usually doesn't go very well. Yes, egotism and self-centeredness is common, but it is a vice, and I try not to be that way. I really don't appreciate it when someone tries to encourage me to be egotistical. It is manipulative and harmful to me.
- cbsmith 14y ago
  Someone is doing it wrong then. Appealing to one's ego isn't the same as encouraging one to be egotistical.
frankc 14y ago
If you liked this article you should read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence people as it is very much along these lines. It's a famous book for a reason: the advice is tried and true.
svnexp 14y ago
"the only way to “sell” yourself, or anything else, is to get other people’s interest by showing your interest in them" This can easily be taken the wrong way and come across completely unauthentic. For example .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W34wyKZlWQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W34wyKZlWQ
FarhadG 14y ago
Thanks for the article! Loved reading it

113 points by mikecane 14y ago

A great must-read on the same idea - with lots of examples from very different social situations - is the popular book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc...) . It's only 300 pages long, but there are a lot of great principles in it that one can follow.

xsmasher 14y ago
I second this recommendation, with an aside: the title was an incredible turn-off to me, but I read it anyway and it is worth its weight. It is not lessons on "How to be False and Unctuous" or "How to Abuse the Kindness of Others," which were the original images that the title evoked from me.
- jw_ 14y ago
  I have to agree - I found the title monumentally off-putting as well (and wound up reading it on the Kindle to avoid having the book title displayed to my fellow train passengers, how sad!) but I was glad that I read it. The book seems like it'd be "your guide to becoming a smarmy dick in 30 days!" but it really stresses sincerity and other various laudable goals. A lot of the book is obvious in hindsight but it's pretty well written and has become a classic for good reason.
Karunamon 14y ago
Went looking for it and found a copy on the Internet Archive: http://archive.org/details/BooksOfArslanhowToWinFriendsAndInfluencePeople http://archive.org/details/BooksOfArslanhowToWinFriendsAndIn...
- packetslave 14y ago
  Hmm, "Copyright 1981". Pretty sure that's not a legitimately freely-available copy.
  - snowwindwaves 14y ago
    it was originally published in the thirties.

RyanZAG 14y ago

As with the other article from 1922 [1], this article is just so much better written and conveys a far more widely useful point than the articles you see in the media today. Feels a bit like journalism in general has gone backwards enormously. I think this because journalism is now ranked by 'page views', when in 1922, journalism was ranked by professional editors. For journalism, page views = ad views = revenue, so optimizing for anything else is folly. A short article with eye catching headlines and sensationalism is always going to outdo a great article like the OP. Any way to reverse this trend? Even pay-for journalism today is still plagued by 'page views', as no follow up article is going to be written if the views are low. Back in 1922, nobody really knew the page views and they could only be badly estimated with a reader's survey. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4969041 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4969041 EDIT: I've actually changed my mind - journalism of this standard is definitely alive and well, you just have to look to lesser known bloggers now instead of big media. This is probably the true death-knell of big media if I ever saw it - loss of quality content. I present the following blog post from this year as evidence: http://www.lindsredding.com/2012/03/11/a-overdue-lesson-in-perspective/ http://www.lindsredding.com/2012/03/11/a-overdue-lesson-in-p... The way writing styles have changed in general in 100 years is also interesting!

huherto 14y ago
And this article survived from 1922. So it is probably good. Selection bias?
- testing12341234 14y ago
  Also, these are two articles hand picked from one year from all sources that printed news that year. That's a very small sample size to extrapolate from.
  - edanm 14y ago
    I think you and the GP were making the same (valid) point.
jpdoctor 14y ago

wallflower 14y ago

Politics aside, I'm fascinated by the personal recollections of people who have met Bill Clinton [1]. Bill Clinton is legendary for making people who shake his hand feel like they are the most important person in the room. A book I read (can't remember the title) said something that has stuck with me. Paraphrased: "Everyone can be as charismatic as Bill Clinton. You do it on a job interview or on a first date. The secret is... he does it all the time" "Clinton had this huge charisma. He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a blue checked shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His presence made everyone around him so comfortable. He had this extraordinary ability to make us feel very special. He took time out to speak to each one of us — asking about our family, where we were raised and educated, what were the things in our life that we hold important." [2] [1] http://www.bing.com/search?q=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charisma&go=&qs=n&form=QBRE&pq=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charisma&sc=0-0&sp=-1&sk= http://www.bing.com/search?q=meeting+bill+clinton+%2B+charis... [2] http://www.telegraphindia.com/1120507/jsp/calcutta/story_15459603.jsp http://www.telegraphindia.com/1120507/jsp/calcutta/story_154...

stfu 14y ago
Ironically similar stuff has been said about George W. Bush: http://www.quora.com/George-W-Bush/What-is-George-W-Bush-really-like-in-one-on-one-conversation http://www.quora.com/George-W-Bush/What-is-George-W-Bush-rea... But I guess in today's world it is unlikely to take a high office that is based on popularity by not having a winning personality - even so the facets might become distorted through media.
vijayr 14y ago
Is it this one? http://www.amazon.com/Never-Eat-Alone-Secrets-Relationship/dp/0385512058 http://www.amazon.com/Never-Eat-Alone-Secrets-Relationship/d...

um304 14y ago

Excellent read, thanks for sharing!

adidash 14y ago

Brilliant read with many takeaways! Mike - Thanks for sharing!

personlurking 14y ago

If anyone is wondering about the use of "to-day" (and, as a bonus, "to-morrow"), the following are from Etymonline. "To-day" O.E. todæge, to dæge "on (the) day," from to "at, on" + dæge, dative of dæg "day". Generally written as two words until 16c., after which it usually was written to-day until early 20c. "To-morrow" late 13c., to morewe, from O.E. to morgenne "on (the) morrow," from to "at, on" + morgenne, dative of morgen "morning". Written as two words until 16c., then as to-morrow until early 20c. ... The latter reminds me of Spanish where they say "mañana por la mañana" (lit. tomorrow during the morning) and Portuguese where they say "amanhã da manhã" (lit. tomorrow of the morning).

mrxd 14y ago

Sometimes I meet people who follow this advice, and it usually doesn't go very well. Yes, egotism and self-centeredness is common, but it is a vice, and I try not to be that way. I really don't appreciate it when someone tries to encourage me to be egotistical. It is manipulative and harmful to me.

cbsmith 14y ago
Someone is doing it wrong then. Appealing to one's ego isn't the same as encouraging one to be egotistical.

frankc 14y ago

If you liked this article you should read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence people as it is very much along these lines. It's a famous book for a reason: the advice is tried and true.

svnexp 14y ago

"the only way to “sell” yourself, or anything else, is to get other people’s interest by showing your interest in them" This can easily be taken the wrong way and come across completely unauthentic. For example .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W34wyKZlWQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W34wyKZlWQ

FarhadG 14y ago

Thanks for the article! Loved reading it