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The people who can innovate in this space either don't have the mental and/or capital bandwidth to do so, or don't want to deal with the absolutely massive amou

The people who can innovate in this space either don't have the mental and/or capital bandwidth to do so, or don't want to deal with the absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. I met my wife on OkC in 2006, years before the Match acquisition. I have long been furious about what Match did to the site after they bought it in 2011, and have long fantasized about creating something that could return to what it offered. Problem is, I don't think you could do it. OkCupid in its heyday was a product of the golden age of the web, when social networking was new. It thrived because it predated doom scrolling, so taking quizzes and answering surveys was still a fun way to use the web. Now we're in a post-twitter landscape, where dopamine comes from a flick of a finger. OkC's forums were one of the first mainstream online spaces for conversations about sexuality and non-monogamy. That role has now been subsumed by subreddits and facebook groups. When OkC was independent, the majority of moderation involved keeping things pg-13 and enforcing the terms of use. You could crowd-source it all right within the site itself. Today you have AI agent swarms bombarding any site with a userbase, just hoping to get eyeballs. You have age verification laws, payment gateways that will stop processing if they get even a whiff that sex workers might be using your site to advertise, and bigots who will DDOS you if you dare to cater to the needs of minorities. And all that to wade into a battle with a billion dollar juggernaut.

gadders 19d ago
The future will be an AI that acts as a matchmaker via a chat interface. "Hi, I'm looking for someone in my area age [x-y], has a professional role.." "I have Claire on my list. She's X years old, works as an accountant, and her requirements seem similar to yours. Shall I ping her and see what she thinks?"
- anoojb 19d ago
  The Product Manager on Facebook Dating already beat you to this...
bigtex 19d ago
Are there any documented instances of “bigots” using ddos for services catering to the needs of minorities?
firefax 18d ago
>absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. Wow, this thread blew up -- I think you hit on the core issue, and one that I hadn't thought enough about. Moderation doesn't scale and is very difficult. >You have age verification laws, payment gateways that will stop processing if they get even a whiff that sex workers might be using your site to advertise, and bigots who will DDOS you I don't believe you on the sex worker part -- I think I went on a few "dates" where folks were being polite because I didn't understand some of the language and phrasing used in their profiles. (Also sex worker is a broad term, and dancers camgirls etc want to find true love too.) It can be hard, dating in a big city like SF. And I probably had a "garbage in, garbage out" experience with the site since I lied and said I was straight and some people filter "the straights" out. The twenty aughts were incredibly homophobic, and if you're a 2 on the kinsey scale -- someone who only wants to hook up and not date the same sex -- it was a lot simpler to just not bring it up because a lot of people will drop ten twenty match points if you admit you've had sex with a man while fronting as progressive. Finally, since some of the language and phrasing I see you using reminds me of internal Google mailing lists folks have given me a peek at, I'd like to say here, in public, that I went on a lot of dates in the Bay Area with extremely privileged people who don't seem to get that on a long enough timeline if you're scared shitless of my hacking skills on a date but doubt me in the interview room, that's going to be radicalizing... a persistent pattern of being told if I won't slam a baby into someone they won't accurately attest to my skills, a persistent pattern of being gatekept into precarity that did not make me feel like I had any allies or friends in the technology space and I was grateful SF had a thriving arts scene to keep me sane. Anyways, the world is darker -- I got trolled at one point when I reactivated OKC. Like, legit "I'm not even sure if this is a real person" level troll, something I never used to encounter online dating. (Woman said she wants a man who loves her like she loves Bibi, splits her time between Israel, and... has no idea what the black flag movement is? Felt like I was being baited into going off on someone who might not really exist.) >bigots who will DDOS you if you dare to cater to the needs of minorities. I've had the sites hosting essays about my childhood DDoSed as I was shopping around a sequel -- there's a war going on out there to shape our media landscape that the normies don't see or sense.
- ChiperSoft 17d ago
  > I don't believe you on the sex worker part I'm guessing you're not a fetlife user, then? They have had repeated issues with keeping a payment gateway, since mastercard keeps yanking service due to sex workers advertising on the site. Did you ever use craigslists personal ads? The ones they were forced to remove after FOSTA passed? https://www.vice.com/en/article/craigslist-personal-ads-sesta-fosta/ https://www.vice.com/en/article/craigslist-personal-ads-sest... FOSTA/SESTA make it extremely dangerous to operate a personals site in the US. The bills made content providers directly liable. https://uslawexplained.com/sesta_fosta#the_anatomy_of_sesta-fostakey_components_explained https://uslawexplained.com/sesta_fosta#the_anatomy_of_sesta-...

gadders 19d ago

The future will be an AI that acts as a matchmaker via a chat interface. "Hi, I'm looking for someone in my area age [x-y], has a professional role.." "I have Claire on my list. She's X years old, works as an accountant, and her requirements seem similar to yours. Shall I ping her and see what she thinks?"

anoojb 19d ago
The Product Manager on Facebook Dating already beat you to this...

bigtex 19d ago

Are there any documented instances of “bigots” using ddos for services catering to the needs of minorities?

firefax 18d ago

>absolutely massive amount of moderation that it would require. Wow, this thread blew up -- I think you hit on the core issue, and one that I hadn't thought enough about. Moderation doesn't scale and is very difficult. >You have age verification laws, payment gateways that will stop processing if they get even a whiff that sex workers might be using your site to advertise, and bigots who will DDOS you I don't believe you on the sex worker part -- I think I went on a few "dates" where folks were being polite because I didn't understand some of the language and phrasing used in their profiles. (Also sex worker is a broad term, and dancers camgirls etc want to find true love too.) It can be hard, dating in a big city like SF. And I probably had a "garbage in, garbage out" experience with the site since I lied and said I was straight and some people filter "the straights" out. The twenty aughts were incredibly homophobic, and if you're a 2 on the kinsey scale -- someone who only wants to hook up and not date the same sex -- it was a lot simpler to just not bring it up because a lot of people will drop ten twenty match points if you admit you've had sex with a man while fronting as progressive. Finally, since some of the language and phrasing I see you using reminds me of internal Google mailing lists folks have given me a peek at, I'd like to say here, in public, that I went on a lot of dates in the Bay Area with extremely privileged people who don't seem to get that on a long enough timeline if you're scared shitless of my hacking skills on a date but doubt me in the interview room, that's going to be radicalizing... a persistent pattern of being told if I won't slam a baby into someone they won't accurately attest to my skills, a persistent pattern of being gatekept into precarity that did not make me feel like I had any allies or friends in the technology space and I was grateful SF had a thriving arts scene to keep me sane. Anyways, the world is darker -- I got trolled at one point when I reactivated OKC. Like, legit "I'm not even sure if this is a real person" level troll, something I never used to encounter online dating. (Woman said she wants a man who loves her like she loves Bibi, splits her time between Israel, and... has no idea what the black flag movement is? Felt like I was being baited into going off on someone who might not really exist.) >bigots who will DDOS you if you dare to cater to the needs of minorities. I've had the sites hosting essays about my childhood DDoSed as I was shopping around a sequel -- there's a war going on out there to shape our media landscape that the normies don't see or sense.

ChiperSoft 17d ago
> I don't believe you on the sex worker part I'm guessing you're not a fetlife user, then? They have had repeated issues with keeping a payment gateway, since mastercard keeps yanking service due to sex workers advertising on the site. Did you ever use craigslists personal ads? The ones they were forced to remove after FOSTA passed? https://www.vice.com/en/article/craigslist-personal-ads-sesta-fosta/ https://www.vice.com/en/article/craigslist-personal-ads-sest... FOSTA/SESTA make it extremely dangerous to operate a personals site in the US. The bills made content providers directly liable. https://uslawexplained.com/sesta_fosta#the_anatomy_of_sesta-fostakey_components_explained https://uslawexplained.com/sesta_fosta#the_anatomy_of_sesta-...