The thing is, assuming you get married as a step toward building your own family, once you have kids, there isn't an out that doesn't involve damaging them for

The thing is, assuming you get married as a step toward building your own family, once you have kids, there isn't an out that doesn't involve damaging them for life. Your contingency plan is going to be bad no matter what, and not being present in their lives and putting them in daycare is making a real sacrifice to mitigate a risk that is better mitigated by being discerning in the first place. Being able to spend all of your time with your family is the freedom to strive for, not a loss of freedom. It is the ultimate form of being your own boss; you are accountable to no one, not even customers/market forces. The loss of freedom is trading your time to accomplish someone else's goals that you're not really invested in while you pay someone for their time to watch your kids who they're not really invested in. And this trade can only really make sense after overhead if you outsource to people who make a decent amount less than you, further decreasing their likelihood to be capable or driven to do a good job.