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This is one of those frustrating things. You're just not allowed to not be scared with kids. If you aren't scared of letting your kid walk to a pond, you get pu

by neaden 1mo ago

This is one of those frustrating things. You're just not allowed to not be scared with kids. If you aren't scared of letting your kid walk to a pond, you get punished for it. If you're not scared of the kidnappers, you have to be scared of the police. None of it is rational, it's different how many of us were raised, yet if you try to opt out the law gets involved.

johndhi 1mo ago
I'm sympathetic with this sentiment but surely it's pretty rare the law actually gets involved? Our kids play outside a lot and no cops have ever raised an eyebrow (except for at our crazy drunk of a neighbor, where eyebrow raising is appropriate).
- thewillowcat 1mo ago
  It's rare, but if it happens it is catastrophic. You will be paying a lawyer 10's of thousands of dollars and if you do have to plead out, the charges you plead to may look very bad on paper on a background check.
- flatline 1mo ago
  It’s Foucault’s interpretation of the panopticon. If we know that we may be watched — and punished — we self-police into following the norm, even if we do not know when we are being watched or that someone is necessarily monitoring us individually. When I was a kid in the 80s none of this was an issue and I was free to roam. Starting in the 90s this became an issue and not only will parents not let their kids roam but the kids themselves have less interest because the norm is to stay in or only go out when supervised. You know you are doing something slightly wrong. It only takes occasional reminders like this to reinforce the rule, once established.
softwaredoug 1mo ago
Stranger kidnappings are basically unheard of. It's never been a safer time for kids in terms of crime like that.
- goda90 1mo ago
  They're heard of because it's so rare that media loves to broadcast them far and wide for the views. Like it's good to get people watching out for the kidnapped child as quickly as possible, but the media sensation causes paranoia in unaffected viewers.
  - xboxnolifes 1mo ago
    A lot of the ones that do get broadcasted still end up being a relative too, but you wouldn't know unless you look into it after it get resolved and stops being talked about.
    - pibaker 1mo ago
      A lot of them are not even kidnapping in the colloquial sense. We hear "kidnapping" and think about being tied up in the trunk of a car but many of the actual kidnapping cases are more like "Bobby went to his divorced daddy's place for the weekend and hasn't been back on Monday." It's about the parents' custody and not about the kids' safety.
- null_shift 1mo ago
  Genuinely curious…is it rare because there are less kidnappers, or because parents are more vigilant and there is less opportunity for them to commit the crime?
  - mrguyorama 1mo ago
    It's rare because almost all kidnappings and other harmful things done to children are done by people who aren't strangers: Aunts and uncles, parents, coaches, family friends, community leaders, religious leaders, day care employees, etc They never seem to even acknowledge that, let alone care about fixing it. This was known from the statistics even before these people insisted every school teach children about "Stranger danger" because these specific people are utterly incapable of overriding primal fear, fed by "news" they insist on watching, with factual reality.
throw83930489 1mo ago
[flagged]
- deleted 1mo ago
  [deleted]
- ghostly_s 1mo ago
  Your attempt at sarcasm really fell on its face. It is not reasonable to be categorically afraid of dogs.
  - throw83930489 1mo ago
    [flagged]
  - magicalhippo 1mo ago
    Yet my SO is. No idea why, but she's really scared of them, especially dogs she doesn't know. Even a chihuahua is terrifying.
  - JohnMakin 1mo ago
    Dogs can attack with no indication or reason, some breeds take more of a lion's share for that than others. It is entirely reasonable to feel fear in the presence of a dog, especially if you've been the victim of an attack or seen one before. The conversation around responsible dog ownership is really delusional.
- JohnMakin 1mo ago
  > Being scared may trigger a dog and then you would be responsible for attack! This is victim blaming bullshit irresponsible dog owners love to spew
WarmWash 1mo ago
I swear human brains are programmed to have a "fear bank" of things to be scared of, and an allocation of fear that must be spent on items in the fear bank. As society has weeded out all the things to fear over time, more and more far flung things get put into the bank, and more and more fear is allocated to the dwindling amount of things to be scared of.
- x-complexity 1mo ago
  Following this hypothesis, it would be rationally beneficial to release a wild bear every 6 months or so, just to make sure that the 'fear bank' is occupied by things that warrant actual fear.
  - DangitBobby 1mo ago
    We do have this whole global climate crisis going on. Maybe people could try being afraid of that
    - x-complexity 1mo ago
      > We do have this whole global climate crisis going on. Maybe people could try being afraid of that It's too conceptually big for some people to put into the 'fear bank' to be relied upon. For the threat to be near-universally relied upon, it needs to: (a) have a physical presence, and (b) be within 2 orders of magnitude of size to trigger physical alertness (tick -> herd of elephants), but also (c) not be (immediately dangerous/lethal that the only solution is to never meet it)
giancarlostoro 1mo ago
Here in Florida there's no just letting my 4 year old wander to a nearby lake, it might be the last time I ever see her. There's an assumption that alligators are in every lake, and next to my house I have two lakes visible the moment I come out of my front door. If it's not the alligators, it's the careless older kids in e-scooters or e-bikes, if you're rolling your eyes, just note that one of those careless kids drove into my neighbors four year old, who went flying back because some kid was not paying attention, he was also by chance wearing a helmet because he wanted to ride his bike so he did not hurt his head, but he definitely had a bruise on his lower back. Do I think there needs to be laws around this? No, though, should a child suffer because they have negligent parents? Also no. It hurts me more to think that having these laws is the only way to get some people to pay attention as parents.
Henchman21 1mo ago
This is proof to me this world is Hell.

by neaden 1mo ago

johndhi 1mo ago

I'm sympathetic with this sentiment but surely it's pretty rare the law actually gets involved? Our kids play outside a lot and no cops have ever raised an eyebrow (except for at our crazy drunk of a neighbor, where eyebrow raising is appropriate).

thewillowcat 1mo ago
It's rare, but if it happens it is catastrophic. You will be paying a lawyer 10's of thousands of dollars and if you do have to plead out, the charges you plead to may look very bad on paper on a background check.
flatline 1mo ago
It’s Foucault’s interpretation of the panopticon. If we know that we may be watched — and punished — we self-police into following the norm, even if we do not know when we are being watched or that someone is necessarily monitoring us individually. When I was a kid in the 80s none of this was an issue and I was free to roam. Starting in the 90s this became an issue and not only will parents not let their kids roam but the kids themselves have less interest because the norm is to stay in or only go out when supervised. You know you are doing something slightly wrong. It only takes occasional reminders like this to reinforce the rule, once established.

softwaredoug 1mo ago

Stranger kidnappings are basically unheard of. It's never been a safer time for kids in terms of crime like that.

goda90 1mo ago
They're heard of because it's so rare that media loves to broadcast them far and wide for the views. Like it's good to get people watching out for the kidnapped child as quickly as possible, but the media sensation causes paranoia in unaffected viewers.
- xboxnolifes 1mo ago
  A lot of the ones that do get broadcasted still end up being a relative too, but you wouldn't know unless you look into it after it get resolved and stops being talked about.
  - pibaker 1mo ago
    A lot of them are not even kidnapping in the colloquial sense. We hear "kidnapping" and think about being tied up in the trunk of a car but many of the actual kidnapping cases are more like "Bobby went to his divorced daddy's place for the weekend and hasn't been back on Monday." It's about the parents' custody and not about the kids' safety.
null_shift 1mo ago
Genuinely curious…is it rare because there are less kidnappers, or because parents are more vigilant and there is less opportunity for them to commit the crime?
- mrguyorama 1mo ago
  It's rare because almost all kidnappings and other harmful things done to children are done by people who aren't strangers: Aunts and uncles, parents, coaches, family friends, community leaders, religious leaders, day care employees, etc They never seem to even acknowledge that, let alone care about fixing it. This was known from the statistics even before these people insisted every school teach children about "Stranger danger" because these specific people are utterly incapable of overriding primal fear, fed by "news" they insist on watching, with factual reality.

throw83930489 1mo ago

[flagged]

deleted 1mo ago
[deleted]
ghostly_s 1mo ago
Your attempt at sarcasm really fell on its face. It is not reasonable to be categorically afraid of dogs.
- throw83930489 1mo ago
  [flagged]
- magicalhippo 1mo ago
  Yet my SO is. No idea why, but she's really scared of them, especially dogs she doesn't know. Even a chihuahua is terrifying.
- JohnMakin 1mo ago
  Dogs can attack with no indication or reason, some breeds take more of a lion's share for that than others. It is entirely reasonable to feel fear in the presence of a dog, especially if you've been the victim of an attack or seen one before. The conversation around responsible dog ownership is really delusional.
JohnMakin 1mo ago
> Being scared may trigger a dog and then you would be responsible for attack! This is victim blaming bullshit irresponsible dog owners love to spew

WarmWash 1mo ago

I swear human brains are programmed to have a "fear bank" of things to be scared of, and an allocation of fear that must be spent on items in the fear bank. As society has weeded out all the things to fear over time, more and more far flung things get put into the bank, and more and more fear is allocated to the dwindling amount of things to be scared of.

x-complexity 1mo ago
Following this hypothesis, it would be rationally beneficial to release a wild bear every 6 months or so, just to make sure that the 'fear bank' is occupied by things that warrant actual fear.
- DangitBobby 1mo ago
  We do have this whole global climate crisis going on. Maybe people could try being afraid of that
  - x-complexity 1mo ago
    > We do have this whole global climate crisis going on. Maybe people could try being afraid of that It's too conceptually big for some people to put into the 'fear bank' to be relied upon. For the threat to be near-universally relied upon, it needs to: (a) have a physical presence, and (b) be within 2 orders of magnitude of size to trigger physical alertness (tick -> herd of elephants), but also (c) not be (immediately dangerous/lethal that the only solution is to never meet it)

giancarlostoro 1mo ago

Here in Florida there's no just letting my 4 year old wander to a nearby lake, it might be the last time I ever see her. There's an assumption that alligators are in every lake, and next to my house I have two lakes visible the moment I come out of my front door. If it's not the alligators, it's the careless older kids in e-scooters or e-bikes, if you're rolling your eyes, just note that one of those careless kids drove into my neighbors four year old, who went flying back because some kid was not paying attention, he was also by chance wearing a helmet because he wanted to ride his bike so he did not hurt his head, but he definitely had a bruise on his lower back. Do I think there needs to be laws around this? No, though, should a child suffer because they have negligent parents? Also no. It hurts me more to think that having these laws is the only way to get some people to pay attention as parents.

Henchman21 1mo ago

This is proof to me this world is Hell.