3 ms·

It's telling that you include totally unnecessary things like yard and car stuff. I mean, sure, I wash the car every so many months because I take a road trip

by BeetleB 1mo ago

It's telling that you include totally unnecessary things like yard and car stuff. I mean, sure, I wash the car every so many months because I take a road trip and can't get stuff off my windshield. Washing cars is one of those absolutely pointless things people do that the article is alluding to. It is not supposed to be clean.

SoftTalker 1mo ago
Those things were really just meant to be examples of the sorts of routine, daily things that have to get done if you have any responsibilities above and beyond your own immediate gratification. You might generically call them "chores." Just the routine, boring, regular responsibilites that are part of being an adult who is taking care of his life and family. The guy who takes a bike ride after work until sunset has either done some planning and dealt with the chores to free up that time, or he's a selfish inconsiderate who's letting the other people in his life shoulder the externalities of his self-indulgence. Sure most chores can wait a bit, so some amount of spontaneity is OK, but it can't be a regular way of living.
- BeetleB 1mo ago
  Again, your comment only highlights the original post. Cleaning the (exterior) of the car is something so many people do primarily because of judgmental folks like yourself. They don't care about a lot of dust on their cars, but they feel they have to because of what others think. The point of the post is to stop caring what such folks think. They definitely are not your friends. His sentiment is a common one amongst much older folks. "Don't care too much what others think" is a fairly common advice they give. You'll put in a lot of effort and get very little in return. Same goes for yard stuff. One of the things I looked at when I bought my house was how the neighborhood's yards were. Some were very "well kept". Others were clearly not. I bought the house because of the latter - it told me the neighborhood doesn't care that much, which is a good thing. Maintaining yards is one of the more wasteful acts in life (unless it happens to be your hobby). https://blog.nwf.org/2024/04/why-we-shouldnt-have-lawns/ https://blog.nwf.org/2024/04/why-we-shouldnt-have-lawns/ (My yard is actually well maintained, because I pay a guy to do it - if I can't afford him, though, it's going downhill). > or he's a selfish inconsiderate who's letting the other people in his life shoulder the externalities of his self-indulgence. Hey, if my dusty car bothers you - by all means come over and clean it.
  - SoftTalker 1mo ago
    Again, they were examples. Stuff has to get done. It doesn't specifically have to be washing the car or cutting the grass. Maybe it's helping kids with homework, or cleaning the toilets, or shopping for groceries, or taking your wife out to a nice dinner, or watching the kids while she goes to a movie with her friends. I don't care about your dusty car. By all means don't wash it for me. But if your wife cares, and she's driving a dirty car because you go bike riding after work every day, then you might want to reconsider. Again, that's just an example. I'm reminded of a quote, something along the lines of "if we all did the little things we know we are supposed to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves"
    - BeetleB 1mo ago
      As several people have pointed out, the original submission is not saying what you think it is. It is implicit that there are some things he has to do. He says: > have a boring job. do nothing after work. why do you have to do something after work? do something because you feel like doing it, not because you feel like you have to. Are you suggesting he has a boring job because he wants to have a boring job? > I'm reminded of a quote, something along the lines of "if we all did the little things we know we are supposed to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves" The reason old people give the advice I mentioned is because they tried this approach and it backfired. One of the major markers of my maturity was switching away from: "Well, if everyone does X, things would be better" to "What is the Y that will improve things the most, given that we know not everyone is going to do it?" Having a system that only works well when (almost) everyone plays nice usually fails. Search instead for robustness: What system works well when a decent percentage don't adhere to it? There's a reason communism lost.

by BeetleB 1mo ago

SoftTalker 1mo ago

Those things were really just meant to be examples of the sorts of routine, daily things that have to get done if you have any responsibilities above and beyond your own immediate gratification. You might generically call them "chores." Just the routine, boring, regular responsibilites that are part of being an adult who is taking care of his life and family. The guy who takes a bike ride after work until sunset has either done some planning and dealt with the chores to free up that time, or he's a selfish inconsiderate who's letting the other people in his life shoulder the externalities of his self-indulgence. Sure most chores can wait a bit, so some amount of spontaneity is OK, but it can't be a regular way of living.

BeetleB 1mo ago
Again, your comment only highlights the original post. Cleaning the (exterior) of the car is something so many people do primarily because of judgmental folks like yourself. They don't care about a lot of dust on their cars, but they feel they have to because of what others think. The point of the post is to stop caring what such folks think. They definitely are not your friends. His sentiment is a common one amongst much older folks. "Don't care too much what others think" is a fairly common advice they give. You'll put in a lot of effort and get very little in return. Same goes for yard stuff. One of the things I looked at when I bought my house was how the neighborhood's yards were. Some were very "well kept". Others were clearly not. I bought the house because of the latter - it told me the neighborhood doesn't care that much, which is a good thing. Maintaining yards is one of the more wasteful acts in life (unless it happens to be your hobby). https://blog.nwf.org/2024/04/why-we-shouldnt-have-lawns/ https://blog.nwf.org/2024/04/why-we-shouldnt-have-lawns/ (My yard is actually well maintained, because I pay a guy to do it - if I can't afford him, though, it's going downhill). > or he's a selfish inconsiderate who's letting the other people in his life shoulder the externalities of his self-indulgence. Hey, if my dusty car bothers you - by all means come over and clean it.
- SoftTalker 1mo ago
  Again, they were examples. Stuff has to get done. It doesn't specifically have to be washing the car or cutting the grass. Maybe it's helping kids with homework, or cleaning the toilets, or shopping for groceries, or taking your wife out to a nice dinner, or watching the kids while she goes to a movie with her friends. I don't care about your dusty car. By all means don't wash it for me. But if your wife cares, and she's driving a dirty car because you go bike riding after work every day, then you might want to reconsider. Again, that's just an example. I'm reminded of a quote, something along the lines of "if we all did the little things we know we are supposed to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves"
  - BeetleB 1mo ago
    As several people have pointed out, the original submission is not saying what you think it is. It is implicit that there are some things he has to do. He says: > have a boring job. do nothing after work. why do you have to do something after work? do something because you feel like doing it, not because you feel like you have to. Are you suggesting he has a boring job because he wants to have a boring job? > I'm reminded of a quote, something along the lines of "if we all did the little things we know we are supposed to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves" The reason old people give the advice I mentioned is because they tried this approach and it backfired. One of the major markers of my maturity was switching away from: "Well, if everyone does X, things would be better" to "What is the Y that will improve things the most, given that we know not everyone is going to do it?" Having a system that only works well when (almost) everyone plays nice usually fails. Search instead for robustness: What system works well when a decent percentage don't adhere to it? There's a reason communism lost.