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> memories I did not reference memories anywhere at any time. I did not imply or state that I had memories of such, could access memories of such nor suggest i

by blitzar 1mo ago

> memories I did not reference memories anywhere at any time. I did not imply or state that I had memories of such, could access memories of such nor suggest it was possible in any way. My handprints however are still in that concrete slab to this day.

oblio 1mo ago
Doesn't really matter. Why would it be better to be around a construction site that at a soft play center? Since you cannot remember anything voluntarily, anyway? I understand the choice of a different activity for a 4 year old or something, or even for a very calm and prudent 2 year old. Just for the photo? Who cares? You could have had the same grainy photo at the soft play center and it would have been as nostalgic. I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours.
- n4r9 1mo ago
  You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding experience. Research seems to say that even at 1yo these things imprint on our brains. On the other hand, it shouldn't get to a point where a 1yo is crawling into freshly laid concrete. There are safer ways to do it. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory
  - oblio 1mo ago
    There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.
    - n4r9 1mo ago
      The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
      - oblio 1mo ago
        Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
    - phil21 1mo ago
      Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
      - oblio 1mo ago
        A half-mobile 1 year old can be quite hard to control. There is more than enough time for them to bond during a construction project in the following as-many-years-as-they-want-to-tag-along-until-adolescence-hits-hard".
- sokoloff 1mo ago
  > I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours. Do you have a mirror handy by any chance?
  - oblio 1mo ago
    Yes, I do. And that's why I came down hard on the previous commenter. Someone shared their benign personal experience and the FIRST reply was the Holier-Than-Thou typical garbage of "akshually, you're a bad parent because you did not do X Y Z parenting micro-optimization".

by blitzar 1mo ago

oblio 1mo ago

Doesn't really matter. Why would it be better to be around a construction site that at a soft play center? Since you cannot remember anything voluntarily, anyway? I understand the choice of a different activity for a 4 year old or something, or even for a very calm and prudent 2 year old. Just for the photo? Who cares? You could have had the same grainy photo at the soft play center and it would have been as nostalgic. I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours.

n4r9 1mo ago
You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding experience. Research seems to say that even at 1yo these things imprint on our brains. On the other hand, it shouldn't get to a point where a 1yo is crawling into freshly laid concrete. There are safer ways to do it. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory
- oblio 1mo ago
  There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.
  - n4r9 1mo ago
    The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
    - oblio 1mo ago
      Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
  - phil21 1mo ago
    Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
    - oblio 1mo ago
      A half-mobile 1 year old can be quite hard to control. There is more than enough time for them to bond during a construction project in the following as-many-years-as-they-want-to-tag-along-until-adolescence-hits-hard".
sokoloff 1mo ago
> I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours. Do you have a mirror handy by any chance?
- oblio 1mo ago
  Yes, I do. And that's why I came down hard on the previous commenter. Someone shared their benign personal experience and the FIRST reply was the Holier-Than-Thou typical garbage of "akshually, you're a bad parent because you did not do X Y Z parenting micro-optimization".