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> But I am a dad with a young kid, he was 1 when I built the office. I didn't want to spend my limited free time on this project. I am very glad that the grain

by blitzar 1mo ago

> But I am a dad with a young kid, he was 1 when I built the office. I didn't want to spend my limited free time on this project. I am very glad that the grainy 40 year old photos of me at that sort of age with my father are us digging a hole together or me crawling around on a freshly poured slab of concrete - rather than at a soft play venue.

oblio 1mo ago
What are you going on about? What memories with a 1 year old? Besides the fact that it's almost impossible to actively access memories from when you're 1 year old, a 1 year old shouldn't be anywhere near a construction site. There are much better and safer uses of time together with a 1 year old that don't revolve on hoping they'd see a grainy (or nom grainy) photos 40 years later.
- blitzar 1mo ago
  > memories I did not reference memories anywhere at any time. I did not imply or state that I had memories of such, could access memories of such nor suggest it was possible in any way. My handprints however are still in that concrete slab to this day.
  - oblio 1mo ago
    Doesn't really matter. Why would it be better to be around a construction site that at a soft play center? Since you cannot remember anything voluntarily, anyway? I understand the choice of a different activity for a 4 year old or something, or even for a very calm and prudent 2 year old. Just for the photo? Who cares? You could have had the same grainy photo at the soft play center and it would have been as nostalgic. I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours.
    - n4r9 1mo ago
      You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding experience. Research seems to say that even at 1yo these things imprint on our brains. On the other hand, it shouldn't get to a point where a 1yo is crawling into freshly laid concrete. There are safer ways to do it. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory
      - oblio 1mo ago
        There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.
        n4r9 1mo ago
        The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
        oblio 1mo ago
        Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
        phil21 1mo ago
        Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
    - sokoloff 1mo ago
      > I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours. Do you have a mirror handy by any chance?
      - oblio 1mo ago
        Yes, I do. And that's why I came down hard on the previous commenter. Someone shared their benign personal experience and the FIRST reply was the Holier-Than-Thou typical garbage of "akshually, you're a bad parent because you did not do X Y Z parenting micro-optimization".
mindslight 1mo ago
That does absolutely nothing for the time crunch. I'm more than happy to give my young child tours of my small construction site or whatever other projects are in progress. But it's not like I can also be working on things while doing that. And someone else was taking those pictures, right?

by blitzar 1mo ago

oblio 1mo ago

What are you going on about? What memories with a 1 year old? Besides the fact that it's almost impossible to actively access memories from when you're 1 year old, a 1 year old shouldn't be anywhere near a construction site. There are much better and safer uses of time together with a 1 year old that don't revolve on hoping they'd see a grainy (or nom grainy) photos 40 years later.

blitzar 1mo ago
> memories I did not reference memories anywhere at any time. I did not imply or state that I had memories of such, could access memories of such nor suggest it was possible in any way. My handprints however are still in that concrete slab to this day.
- oblio 1mo ago
  Doesn't really matter. Why would it be better to be around a construction site that at a soft play center? Since you cannot remember anything voluntarily, anyway? I understand the choice of a different activity for a 4 year old or something, or even for a very calm and prudent 2 year old. Just for the photo? Who cares? You could have had the same grainy photo at the soft play center and it would have been as nostalgic. I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours.
  - n4r9 1mo ago
    You both have valid points. One one hand, "implicit memory" [0] begins at birth and being around one's father building impressive things is a huge bonding experience. Research seems to say that even at 1yo these things imprint on our brains. On the other hand, it shouldn't get to a point where a 1yo is crawling into freshly laid concrete. There are safer ways to do it. [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicit_memory
    - oblio 1mo ago
      There are more than enough years past the first one for the "father to build impressive things", though.
      - n4r9 1mo ago
        The 1yo stage is surprisingly convenient for that sort of stuff. At ages 2-4 they're much more mobile and experimental and harder to watch. Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do. Also, the first 18 months establish a good deal of a person's attachment security, connection to parents, and emotional intelligence. The brain continues to be flexible for some time, but gradually becomes harder to rewire.
        oblio 1mo ago
        Everyone's experience is different but: > Then from 4 or 5 upwards they're at school a lot and starting to lose interest in what their parents want to do I had to disagree with this. Thought this might be a European experience, in the US there probably isn't a lot of time to interact with the kids during the typical work week. I would say that interest in what we do has stayed steady if not increased after about 3 years old because now they understand more things. At this rate I expect the "losing interest part" to start during the tween (8-12) or teenage years.
      - phil21 1mo ago
        Hard and very vehement disagree from me. So long as it is safe, a kid even at 1 years old should be tagging along with the adults doing things. Like building, working out in the yard, helping friends with projects, whatever. It is very settled science that brain connections happen rapidly in these years. Bubble wrapping your children is not the way to go in my opinion. Everyone is going to have a different take on this, but for me the choice is immediately obvious. Kids should fit into your life (within reason), not have you change to revolve around theirs. That said - I highly doubt a 1 year old did much more than watch and have short visits while being cared for by someone not doing the construction work. It’s a great bonding experience even with limited direct involvement.
  - sokoloff 1mo ago
    > I hate these ill intentioned judgemental comments like yours. Do you have a mirror handy by any chance?
    - oblio 1mo ago
      Yes, I do. And that's why I came down hard on the previous commenter. Someone shared their benign personal experience and the FIRST reply was the Holier-Than-Thou typical garbage of "akshually, you're a bad parent because you did not do X Y Z parenting micro-optimization".

mindslight 1mo ago

That does absolutely nothing for the time crunch. I'm more than happy to give my young child tours of my small construction site or whatever other projects are in progress. But it's not like I can also be working on things while doing that. And someone else was taking those pictures, right?