3 ms·

> Getting into good medical care, therapy, exercise, These are very different classes of things. Good medical care, of course, if there is a problem, get it fi

• jaggederest 2mo ago
  > But therapy? If there is a problem and therapy is treatment, of course. But where does this desire in the western world come from to just by default having to go to some kind of psychotherapy? I suspect you're exactly the kind of person I'm talking to when I say therapy is a valuable thing for everyone. You will experience stressors, grief, loss, and strife in your life, being psychologically healthy and having your coping skills in order is absolutely something you want to do in advance, and is something everyday people can and should do before they actively have any specific disorder or problem.
  • LoganDark 2mo ago
    It's one thing to say therapy is helpful. It's another thing to say it's just what you need to get over yourself in life. I have friends that cannot just "be psychologically healthy". They had sexual abuse and emotional abuse for decades of their early life. Every would-be friend betrayed them. They have too many illnesses and disorders to count. They're disabled, unimaginably neurodivergent, and impossibly complex. Therapy is not the solution to this. This is not as simple as "being psychologically healthy". Life for people in these sorts of situations is a life of such difficult tradeoffs that there simply is no right answer. Everything they do just digs them deeper into some hole, even if it was supposed to get them help. I did encourage one to try therapy, but the therapist spilled everything from their sessions to abusers. Their living situation became measurably worse and has not improved since. It is not their fault. They've been emotionally beaten to a pulp, and it's not their choices that brought them here. They arrived here by process of elimination, where everything else they've ever tried was met with extreme punishment. External assistance is often the only possible out for them. Not external assistance from a professional or therapist. External assistance from someone who knows them and their situation better than anyone else ever could, who's seen too much of their life day-in and day-out for years. You can't select for that. You can't even hope for that. You certainly can't choose that. To think one's own choices can impact matters like this is such a disgusting level of privilege I can't even imagine. There are too many people that can't simply choose to escape their situation, and it's not their own fault. It's not something you can fix by sprinkling on a little therapy or some self-help books. It's something they'll be fighting for the rest of their entire life, whether they escape or not. You can't just choose to be free of that. No one can.
  • teiferer 2mo ago
    > You will experience stressors, grief, loss, and strife in your life Definitely. Doesn't mean the only way out is therapy.
• preg_match 2mo ago
  I believe everyone can benefit from therapy, just like everyone can benefit from physical therapy. The "if it ain't broke" mentality has value, but it has a fatal flaw: most people are unbelievably bad at gauging their own deficiencies. Most destructive patterns of behavior are fueled by an inability to recognize them. Meaning, the people who most need therapy are often the ones to also believe they do not need it. Because, having such a belief is what allows them to engage in self-destruction in the first place. People who are self-aware and introspective are already in therapy, or at least recognize it can benefit them. That's not to say therapy is universally good. There are bad therapists. But ultimately the point of therapy is to encourage introspection, and defeat ignorance of the self. Ignorance of the self is a vital tool to people because it allows them to believe just about anything. Problems no longer exist, in your mind, if you cannot identify them. But the proof is in the pudding. You have to analyze your behaviors, your relationships. If things are constantly going south, that's a sign even if you can't identify why. That's when therapy has value, it can help you identify why.
  • teiferer 2mo ago
    You have a point above in which I acknowledge that some people might be in dire eed of therapy but don't think so, so will never seek it. Though you won't reach those by recommending it to everybody. In contrast, I consider it problematic that the self-improvement movement instills feelings of being insufficient unless everything is tried to improve (like therapy). I would claim that there are enough people perfectly happy and introspective, all without therapy, and creating a culture where it's seen as a flaw to not have regular therapy is hurtful. > People who are self-aware and introspective are already in therapy, or at least recognize it can benefit them. I don't agree. I know tons of folks who are introspective and very balanced and ever have been to therapy nor do they have the need. > just like everyone can benefit from physical therapy. I wouldn't agree here either. Everybody arguably benefits from physical exercise. That's different from physical therapy. The former is sth preventative, you can do yourself, no personal trainer needed, just go for a run or play some squash or push some weights. Physical therapy you need when you had an injury or need to correct an issue limiting your health. That's corrective, not preventative. Similar with mental exercise (some introspection or meditation or philosophising you can do alone or with friends or strangers on the internet, or with a therapist/professional, why not) versus mental therapy (an issue needs to be addressed and that should be done with a professional). A key question is maybe whether the risk of an undiagnosed issue left untreated is too high to take. That's where the self-improvement movement is going to far, I think. We all have our wrinkles, and that's ok. Not every personality quirk needs correction, just like not all odd movement pattern needs a fix nor ever wrinkle in the face needs plastic surgery. The latter has been driven much too far in western culture (particularly american), and I'm basically arguing that the same seems to be happening with mental therapy too.
• essential_cuisi 2mo ago
  > That's a position that must be deeply rooted in privilege Yes, it is. They are speaking to the people who read comments on HN.