3 ms·

The first thing that came to mind for me is that this perspective, while probably in the range of normal experience for software developers, is rooted in middle

The first thing that came to mind for me is that this perspective, while probably in the range of normal experience for software developers, is rooted in middle class expectations. I have ADHD and OCD and grew up in total poverty and violent child abuse in a rural area with no economic opportunity, and was homeless from 16 to my early 20s. While hindsight makes clear many of my own errors and shortcomings, a lot of the residual issues I face today, some of those shortcomings included, are the result of neglectful, ignorant or malicious choices from the adults in my early life. I have several physical health issues that were not addressed when they should have been, including lifelong gout and very likely fibromyalgia. I had a full-ride scholarship and campus job and lodging lined up that I worked very hard for in high school despite being homeless, and a malicious teacher illegally modified my grade out of spite to prevent me from graduating with the required credits. The administration did nothing and I had no family in my life to help me pressure the school board or file a lawsuit. I also faced a gross mistrial after having a small town officer literally plant marijuana on me after a traffic accident, and the judge illegally sentenced me despite a total lack of evidence, and my defense attorney was corrupt and refused to submit a motion to quash or let me appeal the decision because "the judge is my boss and he will make my life hell." Six months jailtime for a first time criminal offense for a homeless seventeen year old. My whole life so far has been playing catch-up. Your advice probably wasn't meant for me, but you were interested in hearing other perspectives so I figured you'd be interested to hear mine. I always find it interesting when casual conversation with other engineers reveals the gaps between our experiences and expectations. Lots of interesting and unique paths through our unique profession.

jaggederest 2mo ago
Honestly I think it's even more important for people with tough childhoods and bad breaks to focus on taking care of themselves. I regret that, in the US at least, the safety net is nonexistent and makes that almost impossible, as you say. I hope you find a little peace and maybe some upward momentum.
- soulofmischief 2mo ago
  I agree, and I think it's important advice that really does need to be drilled into people. Even if medical care is out of reach for some, we do have the internet and now even personal agents who can help teach us good habits and hold us accountable. Things like good posture, exercise, and eating non-processed foods are within reach for the majority of us; and for those whose issues make exercise difficult, it's only even more important to try and double down if at all possible and close the gap. Sleep should also be a top priority. I have had chronic insomnia since I was a toddler, sometimes staying up for days at a time unable to sleep, and honestly lack of sleep is destroying my mind and body faster than anything else. It's preventing me from maintaining a healthy weight, since fat burning is heavily impacted by irregular sleep. I have tried everything under the sun, most recently I am re-experimenting with magnesium in the form of magnesium l-threonate because my magnesium deficiency might actually be causing me to have a very high "gain" in my CNS, meaning the smallest things wake me up or get me excited. It's still too early to rule out coincidence or placebo, but I think I'm noticing several differences since being on magnesium l-threonate, including better sleep. Point being, leave no stone unturned when it comes to your health. Sometimes the solutions to complex issues might themselves be quite simple.
eastbound 2mo ago
Thank you for your perseverance. We need testimonials like this to remind that our life isn't hard compared to this; And yet you have surprisingly chosen peace so far (congrats, and thank you).
- soulofmischief 2mo ago
  I appreciate your kind words. It also helps for me to remind myself how much worse things could be. I'm in a lot of pain all of the time, and recently, thanks to an abusive family member, I experienced an absolutely devastating life event that might completely derail my life, leave me with a permanent disability and end my career, but I'm keeping my chin up and counting my limbs and senses. Eyes on the prize. I am driven to succeed so that I might help the less fortunate. I think any of us in a position to do so have a duty to do so.
OptimaLight 2mo ago
Hey I just want you to know I see you. Good luck in your life even if it started hard.
- soulofmischief 2mo ago
  <3 I wish you the best as well. I hope things are working out.
roeles 2mo ago
> fibromyalgia My friend has a diagnosis and has a prescription for Amitriptyline. While that works, getting exercise also works wonders. I have seen it backfire when she did too much, but exercising well within your capabilities - on 30% of the maximum force you can exert - can greatly reduce the symptoms. This is a journey for sure, finding out what your body can handle, but it's worth it in the end. Have patience with your body.

jaggederest 2mo ago

Honestly I think it's even more important for people with tough childhoods and bad breaks to focus on taking care of themselves. I regret that, in the US at least, the safety net is nonexistent and makes that almost impossible, as you say. I hope you find a little peace and maybe some upward momentum.

soulofmischief 2mo ago
I agree, and I think it's important advice that really does need to be drilled into people. Even if medical care is out of reach for some, we do have the internet and now even personal agents who can help teach us good habits and hold us accountable. Things like good posture, exercise, and eating non-processed foods are within reach for the majority of us; and for those whose issues make exercise difficult, it's only even more important to try and double down if at all possible and close the gap. Sleep should also be a top priority. I have had chronic insomnia since I was a toddler, sometimes staying up for days at a time unable to sleep, and honestly lack of sleep is destroying my mind and body faster than anything else. It's preventing me from maintaining a healthy weight, since fat burning is heavily impacted by irregular sleep. I have tried everything under the sun, most recently I am re-experimenting with magnesium in the form of magnesium l-threonate because my magnesium deficiency might actually be causing me to have a very high "gain" in my CNS, meaning the smallest things wake me up or get me excited. It's still too early to rule out coincidence or placebo, but I think I'm noticing several differences since being on magnesium l-threonate, including better sleep. Point being, leave no stone unturned when it comes to your health. Sometimes the solutions to complex issues might themselves be quite simple.

eastbound 2mo ago

Thank you for your perseverance. We need testimonials like this to remind that our life isn't hard compared to this; And yet you have surprisingly chosen peace so far (congrats, and thank you).

soulofmischief 2mo ago
I appreciate your kind words. It also helps for me to remind myself how much worse things could be. I'm in a lot of pain all of the time, and recently, thanks to an abusive family member, I experienced an absolutely devastating life event that might completely derail my life, leave me with a permanent disability and end my career, but I'm keeping my chin up and counting my limbs and senses. Eyes on the prize. I am driven to succeed so that I might help the less fortunate. I think any of us in a position to do so have a duty to do so.

OptimaLight 2mo ago

Hey I just want you to know I see you. Good luck in your life even if it started hard.

soulofmischief 2mo ago
<3 I wish you the best as well. I hope things are working out.

roeles 2mo ago

> fibromyalgia My friend has a diagnosis and has a prescription for Amitriptyline. While that works, getting exercise also works wonders. I have seen it backfire when she did too much, but exercising well within your capabilities - on 30% of the maximum force you can exert - can greatly reduce the symptoms. This is a journey for sure, finding out what your body can handle, but it's worth it in the end. Have patience with your body.